head games


You're trying to keep me off balance.
You make it plain that I should stay away-
yet you complain when I do.
I am growing weary of the headgames.

The shock factor will always get my attention,
but you don't have the skills to keep it.
It kills you that I can enjoy my own company,
looking smooth,
and polished,
and smiling my vivaciousness left and right,
and not look like I am weeping...

I know you are.

In the rare moments you give me a
chance to speak,
you do not listen to what I have to say.
You smile with the intensity that used to
keep me awake at night,
and the next second imply that your angst
is entirely my fault...

I expected better from you.

Maybe a one night stand would have been better-
you wouldn't  feel obligated to string me along
and I could get on with my life.

At this point, 
even a mere friendship with you seems 
far-fetched,
and to think I once rested my heart and
dreams at your feet...
You were charming,  yes,
and completely unwilling to take
responsibility for your actions.

I wasn't lying to you when I said
that I do not play games...
You're making it very difficult to 
remain standing
while you are fucking with my equilibrium.

But I will.
Just because I don't play games
doesn't mean I will let you win...