You Don't Know Jack!





Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt."

Now, you can handle the situation.

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and Oh Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Oh Schitt, the owner of KneeDeep Schitt, Inc. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, the twins-Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt and Bull Schitt.

Against his parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe later married Mr. Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Dip Schitt married Loada Schitt and they produced a son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood, and, consequently, married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg, Byrd and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned with his new bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now, when someone says you don't know Jack Schitt, you can correct them.


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