Poison seeps through my veins
paralysing pain with numbness
devouring the mind it enslaved
Edging away from the toxicity of bad memories
Purging itself
One contaminant despising another

Breath of life...
gushes past awareness:
Awakening

I see again
Blood moves through limbs so long sleeping
Arms flayed
Rubbery fingers...
touch smooth coldness
I swallow relief...
from a shot glass

He raises his hand to me
I await the blush of tenderness
Then hide behind a veil of bruises

Liquid drowns the pain
I reach for the "off" button
but fumbling fingers only find
"S...L...O...W M...O...T...I...O...N"

A clenched fist
Inching towards me
The tiles greet me
Moist red kisses...
from clay lips spattered with my own blood

Alcohol falls into my glass
I drink with grief
Trying to replace a lost soul with a liquid spirit
Blood red... sharp blade... weeping wounds
Covered with a gauze of fading clarity
A warm haze

I wake up
Head throbbing... heart still
Muscles tense as I feel his presence
He holds ice on my bruises
Letting the water drip...
He baptises me:
Ritual agony

Hours pass
Ice melts... the pain
Tears wash away blood
The door thrown open
Time stops...
for history to repeat itself

He prescribes more relief
Pushing the glass into my hand:
I swallow
Rage rushes at me
Under the guise of a man

A soul battered into silence
Distilled spirit
An inner voice cries out for mercy
Drowning in the poisoned flood

I am shattered
The broken bottle reflects my image as...
glass shards embrace me
Sirens echo anguished screams
Hope flutters... urging the heart to beat:
Its wings

My pulse tolls
Bottle and boxer call for:
The next round
I surrender:
So we can begin...
Once more...

~ Shae Leigh
22nd-February-1998

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