Please enjoy a refreshing drink while reading the story. We have provided pineapple-strawberry smoothies.
You're sitting on a beautiful beach in Tahiti. A cool tropical breeze is blowing through your hair. It tickles as it blows the sweat on your tummy. You reach for the suntan lotion and you hear this wonderfully deep voice say, "Need help spreading that on your back?"
You look up and into the deepest, brownest eyes you have ever seen. Eyes that you can get lost in. You recognize those eyes… they belong to Duncan MacLeod.
"Yes, please," you say, as you hand him the bottle. Turning over, you feel his firm, strong hands gently massage lotion into your back. "Thank you so much! I didn't know who I was going to get to put that lotion on my back, considering the beach is completely deserted. Where is everybody?" you ask, wondering about those beautiful strong hands.
Suddenly, however, the two of you are interrupted by the cast of 3rd Rock From the Sun as they walk down the beach. You're hopes of privacy are dashed!
Duncan asks where you're staying and you motion, (practically in a trance), to the hotel a little ways down the beach.
"What a coincidence," he smiles, "I'm staying there too. Actually, I'm all alone. Would you consider joining me for dinner?"
You smile and you feel goose bumps run across yours arms, jump up and say, "Last one to the ocean is a rotten egg!"
He laughs and chases you into the water. You both laugh and you can't help but notice that he is even more handsome in person than you would have imagined. You agree to meet him for dinner in the restaurant on the hotel roof. Just then a huge wave knocks you off your feet, and as you struggle to your feet the top of your swimsuit comes untied, (well it COULD happen), and floats away on an outgoing wave. He gallantly dives after the errant bikini top. He strokes back and dangles it in front of you.
"Are you missing something?"
With a straight face you say, "Why sir...I don't think I am."
You playfully dive into a wave and he tosses the bikini top to shore. The two of you have fun avoiding the sharp coral as you play in the surf.
"This is my first time here, are there any good diving spots around?"
You of course have already picked a good wreck site to dive. You grab your scuba gear and say, "Let's go!" but there is a pretty strong riptide so you decide to call it a day.
You step out of the tropical water and grab your towel. You finish toweling off and ask with a twinkle in your eye, "Will that be Fruit of the Loom or a banana?"
As Duncan walked out of the water he didn't realize the undertow was so bad, his boxers were coming perilously close to escaping the nether regions.
"Whoops," he says.
You had him the towel, "Here you might need this."
"Between the sun and the surf, I think I need a snack. How about some fruit?"
"Fruit? Sure. I think I have some bananas. Let me peel one for you."
His eyes twinkle as you slowly peel a banana. "You do that quite well,"he laughs. A beautiful, melodious sound that sends thrills and chills through you.
"Why thank you! It’s a real skill- underwater banana peeling is rather fun. I minored in it in college," you smirk as you say it, trying not to laugh...fearing banana bits would go everywhere.
"I could go for a beer," you say as you walk into the local pub. He agrees and after the two of you order, the band starts playing a slow song.
"Dance?" he says as he slowly pulls you into his arms.
You feel his muscles as he holds you close. The texture of his skin, the warm, musky smell of his body. The two of you sway to the music, the pulsating beat growing louder. You can hear your pulse beating in your ears. You look up. He takes your face in his hand and kisses you gently, and then more passionately as your embrace tightens.
"Dance?" you say breathlessly, fully realizing how beautiful those eyes are. "Yes, I'd love to."
The two of you become lost in the moment. Time flies by and the next thing you know the bar's closing and it's time to leave.
"My place?" he says.
"Oh yeahhhh." you sigh, and off you go into the night.
Just as you are leaving the bar, flying monkeys descend on you and steal you away to their evil castle.
"Duncan," you cry, "help me!"
With your backpack you start beating at the buggers that spoiled your lovely evening, and boy you are pissed! (Can you say Rambolina?) Duncan is running after you on the beach, calling after you.
"You want me to call the paramedics and have them meet you somewhere???"
With one final, swift kick you dispatch the pesky flying monkeys and promptly fall into some tropical shrubbery. Suddenly these weird medieval-looking knight rejects start demanding shrubbery. You give them one of those, ‘if looks could kill’ looks and they quiet down, just in time for a breathless Duncan to appear.
"Oh, you're okay. Geez, I was worried," He turns and sees the Monty Python rejects and says, "I thought I got rid of you guys in the last story."
Flying monkeys are taking you away, but Duncan pulls out his sword and starts chopping.
"You know in some cultures monkey meat is considered a delicacy," he calmly states while he makes mincemeat out of the flying hoard.
Between the flying monkeys and the Knights of the Shrubbery, the two of you decide it would be safer indoors.
"Are you sure you're okay??" Duncan's concern shows on his face.
"Ahhh, this kind of thing happens all the time, doesn't it?" you ask, touched by his concern. "Oh boy, I think I better sit down."
To Be Continued…
You are getting on a small plane to head from Tahiti to Fiji. You had a wonderful time the night before with this tall dark and handsome gem of a guy, despite the flying monkeys and medieval rejects. The two of you talked on the beach until the sunrise. You mention that you are going to Fiji this morning and he offers to be your dive companion. Your real dive companion came down with a sudden case of the bubonic plague...what a shame!
The plane takes off with just the two of you, (and the pilot of course), on board. Suddenly you hit strong turbulence and go flying right into his lap.
"Oh, getting a little lonely over there are we?" he asks as he holds you tighter.
"Well, I called....I wrote....I finally decided to pop in."
The pilot yells back at the two of you to make sure your seat belts are fastened. "We're hitting some nasty weather," the Australian pilot says. You can hear the fear in his voice. You develop a knot in your throat and reach up to pull the curtain shut between the cockpit and your seats.
"If I'm gonna die, I wanna die happy," you say as you grab him by the collar and struggling to remain calm, you fight back the urge to cry. Unsuccessful at this endeavor, a tear begins to form in your right eye. It cascades down your face, only half way. Duncan sees this and lovingly caresses your cheek, wiping away the tear. Then he begins to kiss your hand, and then he moves to your neck and catches the tear in his lips.
He whispers, "If we can survive flying monkeys and medieval rejects, we can survive this. Let's make the most of the time we have left," and he starts to unbutton your blouse when all of a sudden the plane takes a huge nose dive and goes careening out of control.
"Oh Lord, who art in heaven," you grip Duncan's hand tightly.
"Next time, let’s fly on a bigger plane, whatta ya say?"
"You really think there's going to be a next time?" you ask. You feel like you are on the E ticket ride at Disney world. "Oh, boy!" You shut your eyes and say, "Tell me when it's over."
Duncan, ever the hero, reaches for the life vests. He hands one to you and starts to help you with it.
"No, no, I got it. Help the pilot," you say.
The pilot struggles with the plane, and seeing a spot on the island below he decides to land. "Hang on!" he yells. "I'm going in!"
Barely clearing the tops of the palm trees, he put the plane roughly in the sand.
"We made it!" you exclaim as you kiss Duncan passionately. The
Australian pilot grabs you and kisses you too! (He's so happy to be alive that he forgets himself.)
Stuck on an island with two good looking guys. Duncan and the pilot look over the damage to the aircraft.
"Damaged strut, not good," the pilot comments.
"Is it repairable?" you say as you walk over to the front of the
aircraft.
"Well, yes and no. If I had the proper equipment it would be, but....."
You look at the expression on Duncan's and the pilot's faces. "Oh, I see. Did I see some kind of building when we were ‘landing’?" you ask.
The pilot tramps off to find the building in hopes of acquiring anything useful to fix the plane. You and the Duncster decide to hunt for some lunch for the three of you. Looking in the small plane is of little use. Dried stale crackers and some icky looking koolaid.
"Yummy," you say.
"How about we dive for lunch? Make the most of this little adventure?" Duncan asks.
Now alone, you decide to take Duncan up on his offer of ‘a little
adventure’. The SCUBA equipment was amazingly unscathed. However, in the shallow lagoon waters the two of you opt to just try snorkeling for lunch.
The two of you move to the warm blue water and dive in. Luckily you have your diving knife and between the two of you acquire some shell fish and a feisty lobster.
Holding hands you walk in the direction that the pilot went. You
stumble in the sand and Duncan takes your hand to steady you. After a while you see the shack and when you get inside you collapse in a hot heap against one of the walls. Duncan sits close beside you, and even though this makes you hotter, (physically and emotionally), you smile weakly and say, "Now what?"
He looks around the long deserted room and replies, "Let's just rest a moment and gather our wits, what's left of them anyway!" He laughs, and as desperate as your situation is, you can't help but notice how the corners of his eyes turn up and remind you of a little boy.
At that moment he puts his arm around you and pulls you closer. You do not resist and start kissing..
"Hey guys, we have to keep it PG," says an announcer.
You and Adrian look up and say simultaneously, "Did you hear something?"
As you look up you see, stored in the rafters of the hut, camping
equipment.
"Wow, camping equipment!" you say. "How convenient!"
Apparently somebody had been using this deserted island as a base camp. The two of you borrow the sleeping bags, tent, and a small stove and pot. Duncan tries to carry it all but you decide to help him out. When you get back to the plane you find the pilot and several medieval looking rejects.
"OK, enough of this," Duncan says and brandishes his sword while
dropping the camping equipment. "This is getting really old! Crazy writers," he mutters under his breath. "Don't they realize that I'm waiting for a HOT love scene?"
With that he rips his shirt off and throws you to the ground. As you pretend to struggle, he realizes the two of you are not alone. In the door way is, "Elmer Fudd!!" cries Duncan. "What in the world?"
"Shhhhhh, be wery, wery quiet. I'm hunting the wily wabbit!"
The pilot pokes his head in the door and says, "The plane's ready to go!"
You realize then that the two of you were so tired that you dozed off and Elmer was just a hallucination induced by the stress of the plane crash.
The Plane is fixed and we're off to go continue our scuba diving trip.
But Wait, There's More
I laid on the sun-baked beach melting into the warm sand. A slight breeze whispered lightly across my cheeks. Peace, aaaaahhhhhhh. I barely felt the light caress at first. It was so gentle, brushing softly over my shoulder and down the tender inside of my arm. I didn't want to open my eyes. Finally I had to see who was making my skin tingle so exquisitely. Dark hair fell softly against my cheek. I held my breath, and the head moved so that I was looking into his dark liquid eyes. A smile touched his lips and twinkled in those smoky windows to the soul.
"I thought I'd surprise you," he murmured huskily. "You looked so beautiful laying here, I just had to kiss you. Do you mind?"
"Not in the least," I said, and suddenly a Mariachi Band walk over to where the two of us are laying on the warm sand.
"Wanna dance?"
He takes me by the hand and we hot foot it across the sand to the waters edge where the music is not quite so loud.
"Have you ever danced to a Mariachi Band before?" he asks with a
devilish grin on his face. "Not in this lifetime? Maybe it will come back to you."
"How about a walk on the beach instead, we can get to know each other a little better. Funny," you say, "I feel like I've known you forever. Have you ever swum with dolphins?"
"What's the craziest thing you've ever done?" you ask as you watch the setting sun dance on the wavelets and feel the cool tropical breeze blow through your hair.
"Kiss a complete stranger on the beach. Good fodder for the paparazzi, don't you think?"
"Why did you do it then?"
"I couldn't help myself, just like I can't help doing this."
I turned in wide-eyed surprise to feel myself being swept off my feet and plunged into the surf. Within moments, a laughing Duncan was at my side.
"Thanks very much!" I spluttered. "You realize this means war!"
Duncan gets a pouty look on his face and says, "Can't we have peace talks?"
"Yeah, okay, I'll have my ambassador call your ambassador. Maybe we can come to some kind of compromise after very.....lengthy.... negotiations!"
The two of you end up in each others arms and your hair gets stuck in the button of his collar. You turn your head to get free and a great big hunk of your hair gets ripped out of your scalp!
"AARGH!!" you scream at the top of your lungs, which attracts the
attention of the paparazzi who come racing along the beach, cameras in tow. Suddenly, the two of you are running down the beach. Duncan motions to make a quick left into a village.
Almost out of breath you ask, "So is this your idea of fun????"
"Nahhh, fun would be playing with swords. You do like swords don't you?" he asks.
"I must admit that I haven't seen many swords lately, although I really like to see them in motion", you say. "However, I've always felt that on a symbolic level they are rather phallic. For instance, what's with the way you're holding your sword in that TV Guide photo, Duncan?" you demand.
"What do you mean?" he asks innocently.
"I find it difficult to believe that anything you do would be innocent, Duncan, after all, you are a Naughty Boy! So naughty! I've heard some of the things you've said during conventions. You know how your women fans feel about you and you encourage it!"
"But I'm really a one woman man," he says as he draws you near.
"Like Hell," you smile, as you let yourself be drawn in by his powerful arms.
You notice a not so friendly looking rottweiller eyeing you up. You freeze on the spot, holding your breath.
"Aahhh, its just a puppy," Duncan says softly. "And look, it wants to play."
He stoops to pick up a piece of driftwood, affording me a nice look at some serious butt.
"Fetch!" he yells, tossing the driftwood down the beach. The dog
immediately heads off after the stick, while I stare in awe at the muscles rippling under his shirt.
"See," he says, turning to me with a boyish grin. "We all like to play. What kind of games do you like?"
"Games?" you ask, eyeing his gorgeous chest "Ummm, I like Twister. Actually my idea of fun is going to a foreign place, meeting a really interesting and handsome guy and being chased by crazy photographers," you say, slightly breathless.
Suddenly, out of no where, these crazy medieval rejects, (who don't know when to quit), appear.
"We are the Knights of Niiiiii. Draw your sword, you coward."
"No, did you say there's a rabbit out there? Let me guess, you guys want some ......Shrubbery? Or am I wrong?" Duncan says, fingering his sword cleverly hidden in his clothing. "Where do these writers come up with this stuff?" he mutters under his breath. "Leave it to me, hon, I'll take care of them."
"Please be careful of that rabbit."
“Don't worry, dear, it's ONLY a rabbit. I'll be back in a flash, and then we can.....
OK ladies, that's where it ends.
