The Practically Complete List of Pick-Up Lines
     Compiled by palazzo@falcon.cc.ukans.edu
 
1. I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
2. Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.
     OR:I want to call your mother and thank her.
3. Is your daddy a thief? ["No."] Then how did he steal the sparkle of the stars and put it in your eyes? 
4. You're so hot you melt the elastic in my underwear.
5. Would you be my love buffet?  So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?
6. Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
7. The word of the day is "legs."  Let's go to my place and spread the word.
8. Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?
9. That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.
10. My name's [name].  That's so you know what to scream.
11. My name's [name], but you can call me "lover."
12. Nice shoes.  Wanna f*ck?
13. Can I flirt with you?
14. Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.
15. [Look at his/her shirt label.  When they say, "What are you doing?"] Checking to see if you were made in heaven.
     OR: Checking to see if you're the right size.
16. All those curves, and me with no brakes.
17. If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
18. F*ck me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?
19. I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.
20. [Grab his/her tush.] Pardon me, is this seat taken?
21. Is it hot in here or is it just you?
22. Can I have directions? ["To where?"] To your heart. [Cheese alert!]
23. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
24. I'm a hurdel.  Do you want to jump me?
25. Do you know what'd look good on you?  Me.
26. I miss my teddy bear.  Would you sleep with me?
27. Hi, my name's Ron, how do you like me so far?
28. How about we go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?
29. [Tap your thigh] You just think this is my leg.
30. Your legs look cold - do you want me to warm them up?
31. D'ya wanna f*ck? [NO!!!] Well - could you lie down while I have one?
32. My hands are very cold - can I warm them on your fanny?
33. I'm very rich ya know - let's get to it!
34. Do you believe in sex before marriage?
35. Wanna go to France? 
36. Do you want to see something swell?
37. Hey babe....do you realize that my mouth can generate over 750 psi?
38. Drop 'em.
39. What do you like for breakfast?
40. Is that a double ended dildo or are you just glad to see me?
41. Is that a tic-tac in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?
42. Hi there! I'm interested in having breakfast with you.  Can I call you or nudge you?
43. Excuse me. Do you wanna fuck or should I apologize?
44. Have you got a little Irish in you?  [Uh...no...]  Well, do you want some?
45. Pardon me but I was just about to go home and masturbate and I was wondering if you'd mind if I fantasize about you?
46. Say, didn't we go to different schools together?
47. Wanna f*ck like bunnies?
48. Why don't you come on over here, sit on my lap, and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
49. Hand out calling cards that say: Smile if you want to sleep with me.
50. You smell wet.  Let's party.
51. Pardon me miss, but I couldn't help noticing that you have c*m in your hair.
52. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
53. Would you like to dance, or should I go f*ck myself again?
54. Hey baby, let's go make some babies.
55. [At the office copy machine]: Reproducing eh?  Can I help?
56. Would you like Gin and platonic, or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?
57. You look more beautiful than Nurse Chapel.
58. Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
59. I think we must make love on the front lawn like crazed weasels NOW!
60. Hey, wanna see my R2-D2 impersonation?  (Think about it...)
61. Hey baby...infect me!
     OR:...can you suck the chrome off a bumper?!?
     OR:...can you suck the chrome off a trailer hitch?
     OR:...can you suck a golf ball thru 50 feet of garden hose?
     OR:...can you suck start a Harley?
62. Hey woman, will you wear my ring and be my bitch?
63. Hi, I'm a Kennedy.
64. You know what I like about you?  My arms.
65. I feel like Richard Gere standing next to you, Pretty Woman.
66. (Motion your finger to get a girl to come your way.  When she arrives say)  I knew if I fingered you long enough you would c*m.
     OR: If my finger could make you come, imagine what the rest of me could do.
67. Hey babe, how about a pizza and a f*ck?  What's the matter, don't like pizza?
68. I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.
69. What is your favorite position on extramarital sex?
70. Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY?!!!!
71. I'm really sorry about Al. It was a lovely funeral. You look ravishing in black, did you know that? What you need now is a nice backrub.  Are the straps too tight, darling? How tragic. How very, very tragic.
72. Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.
73. Bond. James Bond.
74. Stand back, I'm a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I'll loosen her clothes.
75. It's absolutely pure Bolivian. And I don't *give* it away.
76. Nothing I can say will ease of the loss of your daughter, but rest assured that the Morgenstern Funeral Home will do everything possible to bring you peace of mind in this harrowing time.
77. You know, I'd really love to f*ck your brains out, but it appears someone beat me to it.
78. Excuse me, do you live around here often?
79. Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home together?
80. Hello, love.  Do you spit or swallow?
81. You look like the type of girl who has heard every line in the book... So what's one more?
     OR:  So which ones work on you?
82. Your place or mine?
83. What's your sign?
84. Would you like to have morning coffee with me?
85. Excuse me, do you wanna spoon or should I apologize?
86. You have the ass of a great artist.
87. (to girl in towel):  Excuse me, could I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo.
88. Your face or mine?
89. [What do you think of this (dress, sweater, article of clothing)?]  I like nothing better.
90. Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
91. That's a nice dress - could I talk you out of it?
92. Take off that dress and f*ck my brains out you cave newt.
93. Nice tits.  Mind if I feel them?
94. There must be something wrong with my eyes, because I can't take them off you.
95. Forget that!  Playing doctor is for kids!  Let's play gynecologist.
96. Let's take a shower together -- you smell.
97. I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade.
98. Kiss me you fool, f*ck me you harlot.
99. I've got an itch, honey.  Lower. Lower. In. Out.
100. If I was Elvis, would you screw me?
101. I want to thank you for [any event].  Grab your ankles, bitch!
102. Wanna play carnival? That's where you sit on my face and I try to guess your weight.
103. If you want me, don't shake me, or wake me, just take me.
104. Want to see my stamp collection?
105. Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy.
106. I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
107. I'm on fire.  Can I run through your sprinkler?
108. I'd look good on you.
109. Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?!  I thought you knew...
110. Excuse me, have I f*cked you yet?
111. I'd give you a piece of my mind, but I've got more of something else.
112. Ever tried those wierd prickly condoms?  (sure to get responses)
113. Funny you should mention that, I was a gynecologist once.
114. Cold out isn't it?  (staring at breasts)
115. I would kill or die to make love to you.
116. I would die happy if I saw you naked just once.
117. I am writing a new algorithm, and I need some test data.  What are your measurements?
118. I have some hard code I want to try your compiler on.
119. Sex is a killer ... so die happy!
120. Chicks dig me: I wear colored underwear.
121. Excuse me, is it true you are a sexual tyrannosaurus?
122. I'm a copilot for American Airlines.
123. Hi, I make more money than you can spend.
124. Excuse me... do you have change for a $100 bill?
125. Hi! Can I buy you a car?
126. You've got the whitest teeth I've ever come across...
127. Hey baby, I want to lick your thighs.
128. Do you sleep on your stomach?  [Any answer]  Can I?
129. What nice legs you've got-I wouldn't mind wearing them as a belt - or a neck tie if you prefer.
130. The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to f*ck you on the floor.
131. That's a nice smile you've got-shame that's not all you're wearing.
132. Nice socks.  Can I try them on after we have sex?
133. I'll suck you so hard you'll have to pick the sheets out of your ass when I'm finished.
134. Do you like jewels?  [Yes.]  Suck this, it's a gem.
     OR: Do you like chicken?  Suck this it's foul.
     OR: Do you like pork?  Suck this it's dripping.
135. No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks?
136. Hey... somebody farted.  Let's get out of here.
137. My face is leaving in 15 minutes.  Be on it.
138. Fancy a f*ck?
139. At dinner, pick up the bread and say "Wanna roll?"
140. Are you ready to go home now?
141. Hey babe-did you know I'm on the Harvard Mailing List?
142. [Excuse me, do you have the time?]  Do you have the energy?
143. Hey!  Ya wanna try out my new 'Home Artificial Insemination Kit?'
144. Actually, Ma'am, Ah'm not as tall as you think. Ah'm from Taixus, and Ah'm sittin' on mah wallet.
145. Would you f*ck me?  I'd f*ck me.  I'd f*ck me hard.
146. I'm a magical being. Take off your bra.
147. I saw you at the party last weekend and you look kind of interesting...
148. Please may I rest my head on your shoulder?
149. How about a night of passion in Doncaster?
150. Can I play with you?
151. Gawrsh yew shure is cute.  Ah thinks ah loves yew.
152. I'm a young, growing boy.  Would you like to be part of the growth?
153. My penis is a sexual extravaganza!
154. Hey baby, I'm so long that when I f*ck you you'll taste it.  
155. What's it like to be a woman?  Show me.  (This has fallen out of favor after that 'Bobbitt' fiasco).
156. Hey, wanna screw? [No!] Now I'm hurt.  Kiss me and make me better?
157. Are you a gymnist?  [Yes.]  Can I be your mat?
158. Would you help me with my golf swing?  I need help with my stroke.
159. Oh shit!  My Fairy God-Mother said that if I don't get laid by midnight, I'll change back into a pumpkin!
160. What?  You have a boyfriend already?  So what difference does one more make?
161. Hi!  I'm Robin Hood!  Want to join my merry band?
162. I'm religous.  Want to meet my little bald friar?
163. I'm a swordsman.  Wanna see my saber?
164. I love you.
165. Did I ever tell you I won a dance-marathon for the mattress mambo?
166. Gee you're cute.  Y'know, I bet I could learn to love you. 
167. When it comes to cards or love, I'm your ace in the hole.
168. If this is Planet Reebok, just call me "the pump."
169. You're as sweet as honey, and I'd like to spread you all over.
170. Girl, you're so fly.  C'mere and I'll show you my swattah.
171. Honey, you look sexier than socks on a rooster.
172. Darlin', you look finer than a new set of snow tires.
173. Did anyone ever tell you you have real per'd eyes?  I did.
174. Hey, weren't you miss USA '91?
     OR: miss june '91?
175. I'm casting the next Brad Pitt movie...
176. Where have you been all my life?
177. Hey baby, can I buy you a snow cone?
178. Hey baby, would you like a free dinner?  I'd like a free f*ck.
179. Hi, I'm Brad Pitt. (Works best if you're Brad Pitt)
180. Welcome to Mcdonald's, may I take your order? (Works best if you're Brad Pitt)
181. Yes, I make movies for HBO.
182. Uh-ah, I got astro turf in the back of my El Camino.
183. I'm the president of the most powerful country in the world.
184. Milk does a body good, but damn, how much milk you been drinking?
185. What f*cks like a tiger and winks? [What?]  (Wink)
186. I hear having sex keeps you from getting a hangover,so how would you like to not have to worry about hangovers for the rest of the century? 
187. Do you want to talk for awhile or just suck face?
188. I can make farting noises with my arm pits.
189. My doctor says I can't lift anything over ten pounds.  Can you help me pee?
190. Do you need me to help you pee?[often can be followed by] Let me hold your hair while you puke.
191. Can I massage your shoulders? How about your ovaries?
192. Ever had sex with a porn star?  Want to?
193. Hi, I'm Mike.
194. Of course I'm great in bed, you don't think Julia Roberts married me for my looks do you?
195. If sexy was a disease, you would have an incurable case.
196. Hey baby, let's go make some babies.
197. You have some nice jewelry.  It would look great on my nightstand.
198. Are you ready to go home yet?
199. Hey babe, wanna magic carpet ride?
200. I love you.  I want to marry you.  Now f*ck my brains out.
201. I'm new in town.  Could you give me directions to your apartment?
202. I think you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen... on a Wednesday.
203. Excuse me, why is your drink glowing?
204. How did you achieve such a gaudy effect with only FDA-approved cosmetics?
205. Do you believe in one-night-stands?
206. With one touch, I could make you make sounds that only a dog could hear.
207. If I said you have an ugly body, would you hold it against me?
208. If I gave you some neglige for my birthday, would there be anything in it for me?
209. If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.
210. I'm leaving this place... want to c*m?
211. I know this is going to sound like a line, but did that sound like a line?  And are you disappointed?
212. Who's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
213. I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk.
214. Free mamograms, get your free mamograms here, get 'em while they're hot!
215. Do you have a map? I just get lost in your eyes.
216. That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
217. Did you clean your pants with Windex?  I can practically see myself in them.
218. Are you religious?  Good, because I'm the answer to your prayers.
219. Do you have a boyfriend?  Well, when you want a MANfriend, come and talk to me.
220. Did it hurt? [Did what hurt?]  When you fell out of heaven?
221. Do I know you from somewhere?  I don't recognize you with your clothes on.
222. You've got nice breasts, but what color are your nipples? Brown or pink?
223. I am conducting a feel test of how many woman have pierced nipples.
224. There are a million stories in the naked city.  Let's be two of them. 
225. You know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated. 
226. I need your help.  I must expel some seminal fluid.  May I use your body?
227. Do you want to go halves on a bastard?
228. Have you ever played leap frog naked?
229. I'll bet you 10 bucks I could get all your clothes off in 30 seconds.
230. Since we shouldn't waste this day and age, what say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire?
231. Would you like to see me naked?
232. I lost my phone number.  Can I borrow yours?
233. I was sitting here holding this cigarette and I realized I'd rather be holding you.
234. If your parents hadn't met I'd be a very unhappy man right now.
235. Anything drugs can do I can do with my tongue.
236. Either way, I'm going to have you tonight, so you may as well be there.
237. Wanna go halves in a baby?
238. Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? [No]  D'ya wanna do lunch?
239. Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? [No.] D'ya wanna go upstairs and talk?
240. (Holding out two fingers) Why should women masturbate with these two fingers?  [I don't know.] 'Coz they're mine.
241. Sit on my face and let me get to 'nose' you better.
242. Can I ask you a personal question?  Have you ever had your navel licked?  [Yes]  From the inside?
243. If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me spend some time up between the holidays?
244. I really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree.
245. Hi, my name is (name), I like peanut butter, wanna f*ck?
246. I don't want to be alone tonight, but I do when I wake up in the morning.
247. I was planing on saving my virginity for marriage, but the doctor's say I only have six months to live...
248. Careful, we wouldn't want you to slip and fall on my face now, would we?
249. Be original, say yes.  Everyone else says no.
250. There's a party in my pants, and you're the guest of honor.
251. Hi, I'm Forrest, Forrest Gump.
252. My penis is like a box of chocolates...sometimes it's cream filled, and it's always a treat.
253. You dropped something. [What?] Our conversation...want to pick it up again?
254. The ladies call me Coffee because they like my grind.
255. Giddy-up over here and say `Howdy' to your cowboy of love!
256. I'm gonna slap you with a love subpoena.
257. I find you guilty -- of being a babe!
258. How would you like to see my Exhibit A?
259. I'm Ito and you're neato!
260. Uh-yeah, that's right. I'm Kenny Rogers.
261. Television is bad for you.  How about some old-fashioned entertainment?
262. Be my queen if you know what I mean, and let us do the wild thing.
263. Would you like a back rub?  How about a front rub?
264. I've been thinking of turning gay...want to try and change my mind?
265. You need a new man.
266. Take off your pants.
267. Com'ere.
268. Admit it, you love scoundrels.
269. It seems I left my condoms at home.  Can we use yours?
270. Hey baby, got any cavities?
271. You have a fantastic figure... it's a shame you have to keep it covered.
272. You have an onion bun - an ass so fine it makes me cry.
273. Do you have any rope?  I'd like you to tie me up and drag me home.
274. I saw Forrest Gump last night - I cried.
275. I'm normal, well-adjusted, emotionally healthy, and in touch with my feelings. 
276. I'm young and make an incredible amount of money.
277. Hey, wanna go dancing after the funeral?
278. I'll treat you like a postage stamp.  I'll lick, stick you, and send you home.
279. I like my women like popcorn - hot and buttered.
280. Hi.  I'm with the band.
281. I want you to know that if you don't have lunch with me tomorrow, it's all over between us.
282. Care to master my Johnson?
283. What's a nice girl like you doing with your clothes on?
284. No no...I said "are you into trucking"? (in a noisy bar)
285. I'm lost in a sea of love...care to blow me ashore?
286. Pardon me miss, but I'd give my left nut to be the last thing you sat on.
287. I'll sop you up with gravy and eat you like a biscuit.
288. Boy, you sure have changed since the last family reunion. (Arkansas only)
289. Meet me at the Y for lunch.
290. Have you seen my armadillo?
291. Is that seat taken as much as I am with you?
292. Are you as kinky as your curls?
293. So, you're an artist...can I see your etchings?
294. You don't love me...wanna try my doggie-style?  (Best if you're Snoop Doggy-Dogg)
295. 'Scuse me, have I met you and your breasts?  What a charming pair they are, too.
296. I'm in the mood to multiply.
297. You will be assimilated.  Resistance is useless.
298. I like to watch.
299. Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us.
300. Excuse me, do you know any really good, or bad, pick-up lines?
301. Do you have any tapioca?
302. Will you marry me and have my children? [unfortunate side-effects!]
303. Babe, I want to go to jail.
304. Nice party.  Would I be too forward asking you to suck my penis?
305. I don't want to sleep with you.  I just want to wake up next to you so when I see you again, I'll know we've shared something special.
306. Even sad you're beautiful.  Let's have sex.
307. Hi my name is (your name) but you can call me often.
308. Do you drink Pepsi? Cause I gotta have it.
309. Ever stayed up all night and watched the sun rise? I can.
310. The first time is always the hardest.
311. Excuse me, are you on the pill?
312. Wow!  Are those real?
313. Hey babe, wanna make an easy fifty bucks?
314. I looked up the word "beautiful" in the thesaurus today, and your name was included.
315. I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile.  So, would you smile for me?
316. I had sex with someone last night.  Was that you?
317. Do you take it up the ass?
318. What would you do if I kissed you right now?
319. I'm drunk.
320. Pardon me, but what pickup line works best with you?
321. Pull my finger.
322. Hey baby, let's go back to my place and straighten things out.
323. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
324. They say love is a many splendored thing.  Let's make some and find out...
325. Hi.  I go down on the first date...how about you?
326. Hi, what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?
327. To a woman: Hey baby, can I tickle your belly from the inside?
328. Do you like apples? [Yes] How 'bout I take ya home and f*ck the sh*t out of ya, how d'ya like dem apples?
329. Ya know, if we cut your arms off, you'd look just like Venus de Milo.
330. Hey, baby, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy?
331. Hey let's play house, you be the door and I'll slam you.
332. You know, your eyes would go great with my bedspread.
333. Are you looking for Mr Right? Or Mr RightNow?
334. Would you like fries with that?
335. Isn't it strange? <What?> The way I keep turning you on.
336. Hey baby, wanna rassle?
337. I see you wear underwear.  I do too.  Wanna do it?
338. That's very becoming on you.  Of course if I was on you, I'd be coming too.
339. Take an icecube to the bar, smash it and say: "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"
340. I'm single!
341. I think I'm falling in love with you. Now do you want to f*ck?
342. Yo.  You'll do.
343. Excuse me, I think I dropped my congressional medal of honor under your chair.
345. You know what they say about beauty...it protects against all evil.  Well, with you I feel really safe!
346. Excuse me, this is the non-smoking section and you happen to be on fire!
347. Are those moon pants you have on? [No, why?]  Because your ass is out of this world.
348. You're ugly, but you interest me.
349. I didn't know angels flew so low.
350. Say, do you believe in the hereafter? (Yes) Well, then, maybe you'll give me what I'm here after.
351. Will you have sex with me?
352. Yo bitch!  Nice ta-tas! (actually worked)
353. Let's play Army.  I'll lie down and you can blow me to pieces.
354. I am glad we have something in common.
355. Now you know what I want, what are you going to do about it?
356. Your legs are like peanut butter - smooth, golden, and ready to spread.
357. Hey baby, my penis is haaarrrrrrrrrrrrrddd!!!
358. You can take me home now.
359. I am invincible!
360. I am Duncan MacLeod of the clan MacLeod. . .
361. You are so sweet that I will have to see the dentist tomorrow cause of the cavity you gave me.
362. Come on, babe, one little kiss.  I've had all my shots.
363. Haven't we met?
364. Helloooo nurse!
365. Great to meet ya, love to eat ya.
366. Aye lass, ye are fine te me.
367. Would it matter if I said I was hung like a horse?
368. Want to get some coffee sometime?
369. You want to go outside in the cold and hug?
370. Hi. I'm a pathetic loser who would never be able to score with you, so if you sleep with me you'll always be remebered as the best I ever did.
371. You are so sweet that I will have to see the dentist tomorrow cause of the cavity you gave me.
372. You shouldn't be in the freezer section, 'cause you could melt all the stuff.
373. You can take me home now.
374. Hey baby, mind if I take off my pants?
375. I can crush a walnut with my butt.
376. You look incredible in a stethescope.
377. I've just been told I'm interested in you.
378. We're both going down on this elevator.  We are destined to be married.
379. Did I mention I have a penis?
380. I'd like a cheeseburger, fries, and your phone number, please.
381. I'll show you a world built just for two.
382. You quench my thirst like a nymph from an enchanted pool.
383. Even my car runs better now that you're here.
384. I love every bone in your body - especially mine.
385. Are you from Tennessee?  Because you're the only ten I see!
386. That's a nice shirt, it would go great with my floor.
387. You remind me of a girl I used to date.
388. If I followed you home, would you keep me?
389. Are you lost, ma'am?  Because heaven's a long way from here.
390. Were your parents Greek gods, 'cause it takes two gods to make a goddess.
391. How does it feel to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
392. I'm easy.  Are you?
393. Are we related?  Do you want to be?
394. Come on, you can't get pregnant again.
395. Is it that cold out, or you just smuggling tic-tacs?
396. [What was that sound?]  It was the sound of my heart breaking.
397. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK.
398. I must be lost.  I thought paradise was further south.
399. I had a wet dream about you last night.  Would you care to make it a reality?
400. What's your email address?
401. Do you come here often?
402. Where do you live?
403. Hi.  I'm Big Brother.  I've been watching you...
404. Where have you been all my life?
405. Would you like to join me int the Bahamas next week?
406. Think you can dance in those shoes?
407. Okay, you can stand next to me, as long as you don't talk about it.
408. Excuse me, I don't want you to think I'm rediculous or anything, but you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.  I just felt you should know that.
409. Why don't you suprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
410. Hey, I know you!  You were Miss Maryland last year, weren't you?
411. I can sense you are a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little.
412. I know a great way to burn off the 300 calories in that pastry you just ate.
413. You see my friend over there? (point to friend who waves)  He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
414. My face is leaving in 10 minutes.  Be on it.
415. I'm a wrestler, let me take you down.
416. Those are nice jeans, think I could get in them?
417. What do you say we go back to my place and do some math: add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
418. I'll cook dinner for you if you cook me breakfast.
419  Wow!  Are those real?
420. Hey babe, wanna make an easy fifty bucks?
421. You've got to refer me to your plastic surgeon.
422. What would you do if I kissed you right now?
423. Would it matter if I said I was hung like a horse?
424. Can I see your tan lines?
425. I'm not trying anything, I always put my hands there.
426. You know how they say skin is the largest organ?  Not in my case.
427. (whisper) I think about you when I masturbate.
428. I'm going to have sex with you tonight, so you might as well be there.
429. I'm sorry, I'm an artist and it's my job to stare at beautiful women.
430. Nice to meet you, I'm (name) and you are...gorgeous!
431. Your name is Sandra, huh?  Can I call you Sandy?  Really, what time?
432. Were you in Scouts?  Because you sure have tied my heart in knots.
433. Have you seen (movie)?  Would you like to?
434. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
435. That dress looks great on you... as a matter of fact, so would I.
436. (With hands on shoulders)  Oh, those are shoulder blades, I thought 
they were wings. 
437. Pardon me, are you in heat?
438. I was never to good at math.  Like if I put you and I together, I'd get 69.
439. You have pretty eyeballs.  Of course, they'd be even better eyeing my pretty balls.
440. You know, the more I drink, the prettier you get!
441. You're good at math, right?  Is 69 a perfect square?
442. Was your father a farmer?  Because you've sure grown some nice melons!
443. Am I dead?  'Cause this must be Heaven.
444. Hey baby!  I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feedbag.
445. Hey baby!  I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs.
446. Is there an airport nearby, or is that my heart taking off?
447. You're 'No Parking' right?  Just trying to guess your sign.
448. (good looker pouring drink)  [Say when]  As soon as I finish this drink.
449. Lie down.  I think I love you.
450. What's a nice girl like you doing with a face like that?
451. My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love.
452. My friend and I have a bet you won't take off your blouse in a public place.
453. Can you belive that just a few hours ago we'd never even been to bed together?
454. Was your father a mechanic?  Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?
455. Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears?  (Pull pockets inside out)  Want to?
456. If it's true you are what you eat, then I could be you by morning.
457. I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
458. Hey baby, wanna play 'train'?  OK.  You sit on my face and I choo, choo, chew!
459. Hey baby, wanna play lion?  OK.  You kneel right there and I'll throw you my meat.
460. Do you know the diffrence between my penis and a chicken leg?  Well, let's go on a picinic and find out!
461. Oh, you're a bird watcher...(whip out your unit) would you take this for a swallow?
462. Stand back, I'm a police officer!  You call for backup, I'll frisk her!
463. Do you have a library card?  Good, cause you should check me out!
464. Your warm eyes melt the iciness of my heart.
465. Baby, you look better and better each day...and tonight, you look like tomorrow!
466. Here's a quarter.  Call your roommate and tell her you won't be coming home tonight.
467. Whatdya say we go behind that rock and get a little boulder.
468. (drape your arm across target) Hi Kate!  [I'm not Kate!]  (move hand lower) Really?  You sure feel like her!
469. [I really enjoyed myself tonight.]  Me too.  Maybe we could let our bodies enjoy each other sometime.
470. I only have three months to live...
471. What's your sign?  All you can eat?
472. (in produce dept.)  How can you tell if these things are ripe?
473. Don't worry about it.  Nothing you've ever done before counts.  The only thing that matters is we're together.
474. Your daddy must be a drug dealer, cuz you're dope.
475. Hey, don't I know you?  Yeah, you're the girl with the beautiful smile. 
476. Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?
477. Hi.  I suffer from amnesia.  Do I come here often?
478. (as she's leaving)  Aren't you forgetting something?  [What?]  Me!
479. Have you run into any trees lately?  Then how about a root?
480. Excuse me, you have some lipstick on your tooth, mind if I lick it off?
481. Do you know how to use a whip?
482. How do you like your eggs cooked?  I just wanted to know what to make for you in the morning.
483. Somebody better call God, 'cause he's missing an angel.
484. I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me!
485. I'm a Nike lover...just do me.
486. My name is Milk, I'll do your body good.
487. Excuse me, is that dress felt?  Would you like it to be?
488. I'm sorry, were you talking to me?  [No.]  Well then, please, start!
489. I've got the ship, you've got the harbor...what say we tie up for the night?
490. Would you like to come to my place later?  Yo can bring some friends because my face seats five.
491. I hear you like to sing.  Well, step up to the mic!
492. Beauty is only a light switch away...
493. Hey baby, are you a glover?  I am, wanna wear me?
494. I hope you know CPR, cause you take my breath away!
495. You must be a light switch, because everytime I see you, you turn me on!
496. Stand still so I can pick you up!
497. Hi, we're taking a survey and I need your phone number.  If you give it to me, I'll call you and tell you the results.
498. I didn't know angels could fly so low!
499. Excuse me, I think I dropped something.  My jaw!
500. Excuse me, miss?  I'm doing a scavenger hunt for my frat rush, and one of the things on my list is a, umm...weird chick.
501. Do you like music?  [Yes]  Good, I've got a great stereo in my car!
502. Excuse me, I'm about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.
503. Pardon me, are those stretch marks around your mouth?
504. Do you hula?
505. I like your butt, can I wear it as a hat?
506. Are you a screamer or a moaner?
507. I think I can die happy now, I've just seen a piece of heaven. 
508. Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.
509. You're so sweet you put Hershey's out of business.
510. Wasn't I supposed to eat you somewhere?
511. Excuse me, do fries come with that shake?
512. I'd spend money on you I havn't even made.
513. I would give you more money than a show dog could jump over.
514. Wow, you look good coming AND going!
515. I'd marry your cat just to get in the family.
516. I can't decide if you are a better person than a woman, or a better woman than a person.
517. Well, hello there!  How ya screwin; glad to eat ya!
518. I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.
519. Excuse me miss, do you give head to strangers? [No!]  Well then, allow me to introduce myself...
520. If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
521. You look like my third wife.  [How many times have you been married?]  Twice.
522. I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.
523. What did you say?  Oh, I thought you were talking to me.
524. So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than just conversation?
525. You make my software turn into hardware.
526. As long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit.
527. Was your father an alien?  Because there's nothing else like you on 
earth!
528. Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!
529. Will you touch me so I can tell all my friends I've been touched by 
an angel?
530. Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal you heart.
531. You must be a hell of a thief.  You stole my heart from across the room.
532. There are 256 bones in the human body.  How'd ya like one more?
533. You look like a hooker I knew in Fresno.
534. I had to find out what kind of woman would go out dressed like that.
535. (to some stranger after a long, drunken night)  Let's go.  We're 
leaving.
536. You remind me of my dead ex-girlfriend.
537. Do you think I could borrow that dress/bustier sometime?
538. I found this (item) at the club last night, is it yours?  If not, 
I'd like to give it to you anyway.
539. I keep all of my most important poems and drawings in this little 
book.  I'd like you to have it because they're mostly about you anyway.
540. We're going to dance to one song, then go to my place an f*ck.
541. By the way, are you 23?
542. Roses are red, tulips are not, do you wanna go home with me and f*ck?
543. Just wanted to tell you I love the way you dance.
544. Hi. Are you cute?
545. So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll 
give you a full refund.
546. So you're a girl, huh?
547. Do you like food?
548. Do you like music?
549. What lovely eyes you have...I used to have some just like them.
550. Are you here alone or am I going to have to kill someone to win your 
affection?
551. I'd like to tie you to a rafter and f*ck you up and down.
552. Would you please come home with me and tie me up?
553. Wow. 
554. That outfit must make a lot of noise in the dryer, huh.
555. (Look at someone and wait for them to say anything)  Oh, I'm doing 
fine!  And you?
556. Aren't we supposed to get together for a candlelit dinner later tonight?
557. Hi, I just moved to this city and was wondering if you could 
recommend a good restaurant here.  Also, would you like to join me?
558. My drink is getting lonely.  Would you join me with one?
559. Excuse me, Would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?
560. Hey!  I like your shoes!  Do you like mine?
561. Can I taste your drink/dish? (then kiss)
562. Wow!  Are you really as beautiful as you seem, or do you remind me 
of myself?
563. Can I please be your slave tonight?
564. You should be someone's wife.
565. What can I do to make you sleep with me?
566. Want to come to my garden and see my big, hard cucumbers?
567. Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?
568. Was all my work for naught?  Or am I too damn good?
569. You know, I've "always" wanted to sleep with you.
570. (spot someone waiting, approach and say)  If he dosn't show up, I'll 
be right over there.
	OR: Waiting to be picked up?
571. Picture this, you, me, bubble bath, and a bottle of champagne.
572. God must have been in a very good mood the day we met.
573. Would you like to be in movies?
574. Excuse me, you have a beep on your nose.  [What?]  (reach over an 
gently squeeze her nose) BEEP.
575. I wonder what our children will look like.
576. Shall we talk, or continue flirting from a distance?
577. Did you know that the word 'motel' backwards spells 'letom'?
578. Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.
579. Don't you know me from somewhere?
580. Congratulations!  You've been voted the Most Beautiful Girl in this 
Room, and the prize is a night with me!
581. My hands are cold.  Can I warm them on your heaving breasts?
582. Love is like a rug.  So you can walk all over me and lie on me.
583. Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together?
584. Will you marry me for just one night?
585. I'm an organ donor.  Need anything?
586. Did the sun just come out, or did you just smile at me?
587. Just where do those legs of yours end?
588. Uh, oh.  My parents met in a place like this.  Let's get the hell 
out of here.
589. Does my breath smell okay?
590. You are so beautiful I would crawl 10 miles on my hands and knees 
through broken glass just to jerk off in your shadow.
591. You are so fine I'd eat your sh*t just so I could see where it came 
from.
592. If I could be anything, I'd love to be your bathwater.
593. Here's your chance to get to know me.
594. Do you mind if I stare at you from up close instead of from across 
the room?
595. You are the reason men fall in love.
596. I was, am, and will forever be crazy about you.
597. I just had to come talk to you.  Sweetness is my weakness.
598. Are you free tonight, or will it cost me?
599. Got a soggy bun for a lonely weenie?
600. Are you busy tonight at 3:00 AM?
601. If you f*ck me, I'll go away.
602. You know, you might be asked to leave soon.  You're making the other 
women look really bad.
603. Hi, I'm new to this area, and you're the prettiest sight I've seen 
so far.  Can you give me a tour of your body?
604. You're the one I've been saving this drink/seat/ticket to Hawii for.
605. Oh no, I'm choking!  I need mouth to mouth, quick!
606. You know, I'm not just an intresting person, I have a nice body, too.
607. What's a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this?
608. What time do you have to be back in heaven?
609. So there you are!  I've been looking all over for you, Girl of My Dreams.
610. You are just truly, absolutely beautiful!  Can you cook and clean, also?
611. I am invincible!
612. You can take me home now.
613. You are so sweet that I will have to see the dentist tomorrow cause 
of the cavity you gave me.
614. Hi. i'm a pathetic loser who would never be able to score with you, 
so if you sleep with me you'll always be remebered as the best i ever did.
615. How go your plans for world domination?
616. Baby, If you were a restaurant, you'd be MacDonalds.
617. With a voice like that I'd get my own 1-900 number.
618. I know a place where it's illegal to be bored.
619. I think my imagination just ran wild.
620. I'll format your hard drive anyday!
621. If beauty were sunlight, you would shine from a million miles away.
622. You know, I would just love to drink apricot brandy out of your navel.
623. I wish I was you....so I could make love to me.
624. I wanna get physical ...let me hear your body talk.
625. You know CPR? [Why?] Cause you just took my breathe away!
626. If water was consider beauty, you'd be an ocean.
627. If I could be anything,I would be your tears...Born in your eyes, 
live on your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.
628. If I were a vampire, would you mind if I sucked on your neck?
629. I'm the milkman, want it in the front or in the back?
630. You'd better kiss heaven good-bye, cause it's GOT to be a sin to look 
that good!
631. Hey baby, lets play highjack, because you "DA BOMB"
632. Better yet you tell me your # and if I remember it then you are very 
special person.
633. Have you ever f*cked an immigrant [no], well can I be your first?
634. Do you like dogs [yes], want to fuck like them?
635. If you miss your bus, you can ride me home.
636. Ever made it with an overweight problem drinker?
637. Hey baby, I got the F and the N, now all I need is U!