Stimpson's Stats

Given Name:	Bill, but you can call me: [See below]
Nicknames:	Stimpson, Wilhelm (pronounced VEE-helm), $hithouse, Electric Bill
Height:	6 feet
Weight:	Bigger than you
Hair:	Short, brown, and curly
Eyes:	Blue-Gray
Likes:	Sports, video games, TV, music, quotations
Dislikes:	"My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, and soft music." Vladimir Nabokov
Talents:	Procrastination, guitar playing, knuckle cracking, eyelid flipping, and singing really low. And yes, I am the life of a party. But no, I can't juggle.
Marital status:	Engaged-- July 15, 2001
High School:	Graduated June 1998 from Fairport High School
College:	Wittenberg University, 1998-99 University of Rochester, 1999-2002

Frequently Asked Questions

I couldn't help but be intrigued by your nicknames. How, may I ask, did you get them?

My sister always calls me "Stimpson" and I figured it'd be a good pseudonym for a web page. My high school friends gave me the other ones.

What's with all the alliteration?

"Stimpson's Stats" sounds much better than "Bill's Boring Bio." And "Stimpson's Shack" sounds better than "Bill's Lame Page." This site has, sadly enough, gone through several revisions as I've grown older, yet alliteration has survived.

Wow Stimpson, your "Likes" sound interesting; please elaborate!

Well, I like baseball, football, basketball... basically all sports. I like to mess around on my computer and SNES. The greatest show on TV is obviously the Simpsons. I play the guitar, and I write some music.

Oh... well, I guess they only sounded interesting. My bad.

Shuddup.

Here's me in my old dorm room. My smiles are so infrequent and ephemeral that I decided to take a picture. They say it'll last longer. I'd like to give a special thanks to Debby Gordon for the eCam. Contrary to popular belief, the lens isn't cracked yet.

Do you like quotes as much as I do? They're witty, insightful, and if nothing else, handy in research papers.
Download Stimpson's Stash of Statements:
quotes.txt for WordPad (123 kB)
quotes.doc for MS Word (203kB)