so, who am i?

i'd be lying if i said that i knew for sure. i am me. i know what i'm like and a few other basics, but besides that, i haven't a damn clue. i am a seeker of truth and understanding. i'm an artist and a poet. i'm a music and story fanatic. i'm a strong friend and a true love. and i am a paladin to those that want my protection and friendship... yadda, yadda, yadda, blah, blah, blah, ect... okay that was how this page used to start… way back when i thought the stars shined for me alone, and puppy love seemed to rule my life... he he he, things change...

we don’t know who we are, and on the day we die we still probably won't. anyone who tells you otherwise is lying. i'm the fun sort though. i hate sitting around rotting my mind, when i could be out w/ friends living on the edge of total self destruction. it's fun to dance on that edge. yeah some day i'll probably fall off of it, but i'm not too worried about that. all i care is that when i'm old and grey i can smile at my grandkids and say, "you know what? i lived".

short note about death... for those who worry about it, don't. look at it this way, sooner or later we all end up in the dirt. we really never know when it's going to happen, and noone really knows what happens after it. it doesn't bother me, i'm actually looking forward to it some day, 'cause at least then i'll get some answers i've been waiting for my entire life.

for the longest time i've been fascinated with the Arthurian views of chivalry, and ancient oriental codes of honor. and i've tried to live my life following those morals, and guidance. recently i said "ah phoey" too all that. i'm me, nothing more nothing less. i don't plan on living up to others peoples sets of standards or rules, and i don't expect others to live up to mine. 'cause honestly it won't happen.

beyond all that i'm a mystery to even myself. i seek that which eludes me. but a while back i realized that wisdom can't necessarily be sought. it's kind of an animate, intangible creation. it finds those it wants, whenever the hell it feels like it. so, i'm just hanging around, having a good time until either it or death finds me.

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