Write Your Own Love Poem

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Instructions

Insert your loved one's name:

Now select your favourite options from the lists below:

blue brown indeterminate colour black red green bloodshot cat's goat's come-to-bed leave-me-alone crossed pop puppy-dog dirty mismatched

heart soul pancreas attention kidneys interest gall bladder fancy interest bank account

slim curvaceous ample bulbous soft strangely lumpy squidgy large petite size 12 hard muscular wimpy cuddly curious ridiculous overfed under nourished frankly laughable

auburn blonde dark fair brown blue green greasy short tangled spiky silken matted dirty damp musty

hair mustache back hair leg hair underarm hair dog's hair ear hair nose hair chest hair mane tail eyebrows

your lips your cheek your nose the mole on your nose the hair in the mole on your nose a popsicle your didgeridoo your bazoongers whistle for a taxi my favourite part of your body a photograph of myself your [C E N S O R E D]

weak hungry nauseated myself dirty damp moist flushed excited big confused virginal like a wet marshmallow like a rabbit weak-kneed stupid everything I can get my hands on

you your sister your brother your dog chilli dogs your car pickled eggs your luscious body your mind your kindred soul your kindred CheeseWhiz(tm) pickled onions

mine his hers ours faithful quick gentle brutal easy by my side my friend available open hard willing

eternity tea time orgasm Tuesday next payday lunch time 29 September 2003 I've finished somebody better comes along the divorce some unspecified date in the future The Simpsons are on tomorrow morning

forever for a dollar for tonight for a quickie for a while until breakfast until Wednesday until Wednesday next until you find out about my affair until you find out about my sex operation until you get too wrinkly until you start to sag until you can't keep it up until I find your PIN number

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Written by Tim Patterson