Here
is a list of my favourite reads of all time....so get out your credit cards
and buy them now if you look forward to a life of boring the pants off
short, sweaty insurance salesman at parties.
1. The Lord Of The Rings Tolkein
A fantastic read....the baddies are bad, the goodies are hairy. Great car chase at
the end.
2. The Vegetable Expert by Dr Hesayon
Everything you need to know about growing great vegetables. Due to my own lack
of success in this field, I can only conclude that this is a work of the
most imaginative fiction.
3. The Canterbury Tales Chaucer
Sex, violence and religion. Good stuff, although Chaucers poor spelling
still provokes study amongst the literary fraternity. Drunk or crap at
grammar? The debate still continues.
4. Macbeth Mr Shakespeare
More sex and violence. Still get nightmares about this one. Its got a ghost
too. What more do you need?
5. Wisden’s Cricketers Alamanac
Excellent for all followers of cricket. If you dont follow cricket then it would
make interesting wallpaper.
6. Cycle of Violence Colin Bateman
An interesting and witty story surrounding the “troubles” in Northern Ireland. Gallows
humour.
7. The Cement Garden Ian McEwan
A disturbing tale contrived by a particularly warped mind. A must for all RRI’s.
8. Spot The Dog
This was where i “came in” on this reading thing. It isnt quite as stimulating
as i remember it to be, but Charlie Tad will be enjoying this one soon.
9. The Republic Mr Plato
Jolly hard book to understand. I did eventually grasp the Theory of Forms
when i was a politics student, but could never explain it accurately at
parties during heated conversations. Remember kids, Lager + Theory of forms
= not a good way to pick up ladies at parties
10. A Clockwork Orange by Mr Burgess
Save the best till last. An interesting choice this as i have never finished
it. I have oft held it aloft as some sort of talisman warning cheery people
that society really is disintegrating before our very eyes. Must
get round to finishing it off!
Books that must be burned/banned
1. Mill on the Floss: nasty teachers made me read this
2. All Science Fiction: just to irritate sci-fi heads
3. Stephen King novels: I dont mind them but have you noticed that if you put
two of them together there are four more by morning?
Mr Tad is currently NOT the literary critic of The London Evening Standard.
