All Poems Copywrited 2000
The Lie
Febuary 28, 2000
Sometimes when I think of it
I want to throw a raging fit
How could you do this to me
It broke my heart can’t you see
You betrayed me in the worst way
I still remember that horrid day
The day you looked me in the eye
The day you told me that big lie
You told me that is wasn’t true
My anger towards you only grew
For I know you told a lie
To this day it makes me cry
My mind is weaker then my heart
And my life I didn’t want to restart
I forgave you for that evil deed
But my emotions do still bleed
What you did I can’t forget
In stone the deed is set
The pain I can’t explain to you
But somehow I still have love for you
Warnning
Febuary 1, 2000
Can’t you fell the anger flowing
Red as wine and ever knowing
Thoughts of you run through my head
Give thanks right now that you’re not dead
You reached into my soul so deep
You gave me nightmares in my sleep
This rage I have is cause of you
My hate for you is oh so true
I will protect her with my life
Come near us, be stabbed with a knife
Stabbed in the back as you did to me
Though I’m glad you did, for now I’m free
Free from you running my life
Free from you causing me strife
I warn you now to stay away
If you come near then you will pay
Your life I will take from you
The day you try to hurt us two
You will never bring us apart
I love her from the depths of my heart
This is me
May 7, 1998
What's done is done, it will not change
My life I will not rearrange
For this is me, I hope you see
That I am who I have to be
If I should change, it would be bad
Although it may make you so glad
I could act our the rest of my life
Though I would rather be stabbed with a knife
I am not perfect and this I know
But why should my life be only a show
I could act as a prissy girl
My hair between my fingers I could curl
I could even be an innocent one
There is nothing wrong that I have done
I would hate to change my ways
Though it may only take a day
This is me why can't you see
This is who I have to be
I know that you want me to change
But my life I will never rearrange
Betrayed
October 30, 1997
I thought for sure this love was true
That is why it was given to you
Now I see it was a lie
Sometimes I wonder why I try
Since I love you I change my life
But I reach in my heart and pull out a knife
Why did you do it? Why did you lie?
You have betrayed me, you made me cry
Once before and now once more
I come for love, you shut your door
No matter what I'll remember you
Cause with you my love was true
Insanity
October 13, 1997
What the hell to be done
Ain't life supposed to be fun
Confused about everything
Is this man just a fling
I miss the comfort in being sad
Now all I ever do is get mad
A slice across the wrist
Or a death with a twist
A bullet in the brain
Or is that to much pain
Suicide is the only way out
What is sanity all about
My thoughts are in a whirl
I'm only an average girl
Help me understand
I'm lost in this land.
Over
September 12, 1997
The pain is over
It is finally done
Blood on the floor
For she has won
The beating is through
She shall hurt no more
A bullet in the head
The body on the floor
Her eyes with no life
Her heart with no beat
A gun at her side
Bright blood at her feet
She tried to escape
She couldn't run and hide
There was no place to go
She committed suicide
Tired of it All
May 13, 1997
Why can't the world just die?
This suffering could end
I can't handle the pain
The fear is over bearing
Why should I live in fear
Running all of the time
He could kill if he pleased
Though he won't do it
If he pressured he would
He would totter to please himself
Kill himself he shall do
If a lie is told to him
Kill others he would do
Tempt him not for he shall
Terrified to go near him
Run from him I do
I'm tired of running
It's time to face him
Scared I am
But kill him I must
Let the suffering end
So Many Ways
April 14, 1997
A needle in your arm
A rope around your neck
So many ways to make it happen
A blade across your wrist
A bullet in your head
All your problems would be solved
No more cares
No more worries
Your life would be done
But stop and think
Who would care?
Who would worry?
Not everyone hates you
To die would satisfy you
But thinks of the others
What would they do?
My Mind
April 10, 1997
Burning, twisting, fighting
The craziness won't stop
Spinning inside my head
A thoughts of suicide
Thoughts of murder
Uncontrollable urges
A craving for death
For the sight of it
For the look of it
For the feel of it
To see the blood of another
Seeping across the floor
To feel the blood of mine
Slowly leaking out
To die would be thrilling
To kill would be satisfying
If I do not kill another
I will have to introduce myself
To death
Confusion
March 18, 1997
What should I do?
Love from two people
Has been given to me
One I have known for a while
The other I have just met
What the hell sold I do?
I care for them both
I want to be with them both
Unpredictable is one
Very giving is the other
What the hell should I do?
I will cry for days
The confusion will take over
Slowly it will rip up my emotions
Two wondrous men
Only one of me
Help me! God, Help me!
I can't stand the pain
To choose is so hard
The choice is mine
No one can help
I'm so confused
Waiting For the Moment
March 17, 1997
He lost once to no one
Now she has been ripped away
He will never own her again
Crazy thoughts flow through his head
Jealously has taken over
What he wants, he cannot have
What he needs, he is not given
His dreams are not fulfilled
She was under his control
He could do to her what he wanted
Through on mistake he made
She learned how to escape
Now he has lost her forever
Revenge he has vowed to get
He never loved her, he owned her
He used and abused her
Now she is gone
He will find her
Revenge will be his
She must run for the rest of her life
Fearing that he may be anywhere
Waiting for the moment of revenge
Someday
January 28, 1997
Punched and kicked
Scratched and scared
Fear runs through her body
Why does he treat her that way?
She fears his thoughts
His power lies within his mind
She loves him with half her heart
The other half he has broken
She tries to explain how she feels
he criticizes and ignores her
He doesn’t care about her feelings
Beaten till black and blue
She cannot leave him
For she still cares
If only he know how she felt
If only he tried to care
He will, someday
The Pain
January 9, 1997
Beaten over and over
Screamed at and hurt
She tried to run away from this
It only got her hurt worse
Fought back will all she could
It didn’t help at all
Everyday brought on more pain
She couldn’t leave
He wouldn’t let her
Her thoughts raced through her head
She knew what she had to do
A tiny hole was all it would take
She had raised it to her head
He stood there and watched
She smiled at her not to
Apologized for everything
She looked at him and said
"Till death do us part!"
Life
December 17, 1996
Life doesn’t always go the way you want it to
Problems occur all the time
If life was perfect, it would be boring
Imagine it. . .
No chaos
No problems
No worries
Perfect in every way
Everything would be clean
Nothing would ever break
Just plain perfect
If life was that way
There would be nothing to live for
Anger is
October 9, 1996
Anger is black and red
It tastes like sour lemons
It sounds like a family fighting
It smells like a rotting carcass
It looks like a twister ripping up the earth
And makes me feel upset