Secret World
I'm cold, the icy, bitter emptiness
Chilling me to the soul.
A deep chaotic chasm opens in my
hidden world. An unescapable
black pit! At the sight, it fills my
soul with dread.
Out of the pit rise horrors,
monsters, beasts of all sorts, out
of my worst nightmares. I try to
escape but I find no where to go,
no escape, no exit. I am trapped
in my own secret world.
Despair
I know it is there, waiting to reach
out, to bite into my flesh with it's
vile, poisoned fangs to turn it into
cold, frosted glass.
It lies waiting for some moment of deep
despair to come and for me to loose
my guard. Then to come and bite, ripping into
my flesh, turning it to ice.
I am watching, waiting for it to come. I
know it will. When? I don't know, but
soon for even now I know deep choking
despair is creeping over me.
Despair is here now and I wait, hopeless,
knowing it is coming, no longer creeping
silently but running quickly towards me.
I try to run, my despair pulling me down.
I turn to look into it's cold blank
eyes. It knows I lost my battle. My soul
has wept and now I'm weak. I no longer control
my body. I am limp as it sinks its teeth into
my still, but barely living flesh, turning it to stone.
My soul now stone, I watch the world
through eyes gone cold and icy. I don't
know love only pain and blinding cold.
It laughs, knowing my bleak and horrid
future, trapped alive in ice.
Both written April 29, 1993.
Dearest Daddy
I remember a time with you
when we'd sit by a river
and all that we'd do
was wait for the fish to strike.
All day we'd wait,
with one bite here, one nibble there,
but not once would our lines pull straight.
Those were the days - were they not?
Even if we didn't catch fish that day
I'll remember it always.
Now I look back and I hope and I pray
that next time we'll be more lucky!
Written June 18, 1994 --the day before Father's Day and my Dad's birthday as an extra gift to give him.
My Teacher - My Hope
You've been my best teacher - my only hope
to learn what's right from wrong.
Looking back I know I've been a dope -
A teen paying little attention.
I've done bad things
that made you worry
but to me that brings
a knowledge - You love me!
The worry I've caused you
is a hurt deep in my soul.
I never meant the things I do
to cause you pain - I love you!
Written for my mother - June 18, 1994
Love Lost
Lady, teary eyed and crying, her lover
lost.
Missing him dearly, she knows, they
will never meet again.
Her father, royalty high, the two he
found in the room of his daughter.
Lovers they are, one hight and one low,
never meant to be together.
Apart they are sent never more to see
the light of the lovers moon in
the window or the face of the
one true love away.
The lover, dark and chained in the
dungeon below, the tall tower her prison.
The castle lies still, an unwilling
keeper.
The platform he stands, quiet and held,
his lady watching in horor.
His only crimes, the ones her father
had made.
The lady cries out as he leaves her.
She felt the pain of his passing.
Pain shared and love lost.
Her life is over.
The court yard below looms up.
Her thoughts only of him.
She knows the way now and soon
she will come to him with arms outstretched.
She sees him and eagerly embraces.
Their love together now and forever
and always this strong will it be.