April 9, 2003 - "Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails."


Subject: Wise Chinese Proverbs
1 Virginity like bubble, one prick - all gone.
2 Man who run in front of car get tired.
3 Man who run behind car get exhausted.
4 Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
5 Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
6 Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok. 8 Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
9 Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
10 Baseball is wrong; man with four balls cannot walk.
11 Panties not best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth.
12 War does not determine who is right; war determine who is left.
13 Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
14 Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
15 It take many nails to build crib, only one screw to fill it.
16 Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
17 Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
18 Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
19 Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

So I was talking to my friend Pat last night, and this is basically what transpired:
igonffi: i need to get me a tiger
sharybar: ahh, now me.. i gotta get myself a giraffe. i told my sis and she laughed at me. i want to have the penthouse apartment... glass everywhere... and my giraffe's head would stick out of the top of the building.. and i'd build a glass dome and all!!
igonffi: that'd be awesome!
sharybar: just so he doesn't get wet.
igonffi: HAHAHAHA
igonffi: oh sorry...I'm laughing at you too
sharybar: ass!
sharybar: fine.
igonffi: hehe hey now!
igonffi: hehehe
sharybar: see, we could never get married or anything cuz your tiger would eat my giraffe's legs.
igonffi: i think that's a great idea!!!
igonffi: I change mine!!
igonffi: I'd get a koala, he could chill on your giraffe's neck and watch for approaching enemies...or just eat the ucalyptus hanging around the rooms
sharybar: awwwwww!!!!!
igonffi: heh
sharybar: approaching enemies??? like flying elephants?
igonffi: exactly!
igonffi: then he'd get out his bamboo poisoness blow gun and taken em down
sharybar: hahaha... i love it how your koala would just have a bamboo poisonous blow gun on hand...
igonffi: of course...as well as a samurai sword and a cool bandana
igonffi: ninja koala
sharybar: and he would keep this WHERE??
igonffi: it's a secret
igonffi: a flying pelican friend named Bert will carry around all his lethal weapons for him
sharybar: how big is this apartment going to be exactly?
sharybar: OOH! and can we have a waterfall with jumping frogs??
igonffi: you bet!
igonffi: that would be awesome
igonffi: ah, you know Rivendell in the Fellowship....yah, kinda like that....
igonffi: ...but bigger!
sharybar: holy cow...
sharybar: in an APARTMENT??? fun!!!!!
igonffi: wouldn't that be sweet!!!?
sharybar: definitley!
igonffi: cool
sharybar: and glass floors!
igonffi: let's put that on the to-do list

Ahhhhh! I miss you Patrick, you silly one!!!!!

So the wedding in Tennessee isn't happening for me, unfortunately. With SARS and all that, my parental units don't feel comfotable with me flying long distances. Ahhhhh... oh well. It was expensive anyway and I could spend the money for a lot of other things (No, Parsons, NOT a fondue maker...). And it's resume time again!! Dropped off a couple today, and ran lots and lots of errands. I got back at 1:30pm and I was already tired!! Golly. so much to do! Like take a nap. Cuz it's 3pm. Cookies and Milk!!!

Got this in an email today from my friend Renee...

If You're Happy And You Know It - Bomb Iraq
If you cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
If the terrorists are frisky,
Pakistan is looking shifty,
North Korea is too risky,
Bomb Iraq.


If we have no allies with us, bomb Iraq.
If we think that someone's dissed us, bomb Iraq.
So to hell with the inspections,
Let's look tough for the elections,
Close your mind and take directions,
Bomb Iraq.


It's pre-emptive non-aggression, bomb Iraq.
To prevent this mass destruction, bomb Iraq.
They've got weapons we can't see,
And that's all the proof we need,
If they're not there, they must be,
Bomb Iraq.


If you never were elected, bomb Iraq.
If your mood is quite dejected, bomb Iraq.
If you think Saddam's gone mad,
With the weapons that he had,
And he tried to kill your dad,
Bomb Iraq.


If corporate fraud is growin', bomb Iraq.
If your ties to it are showin', bomb Iraq.
If your politics are sleazy,
And hiding that ain't easy,
And your manhood's getting queasy,
Bomb Iraq.


Fall in line and follow orders, bomb Iraq.
For our might knows not our borders, bomb Iraq.
Disagree? We'll call it treason,
Let's make war not love this season,
Even if we have no reason,
Bomb Iraq

Okay, so my anti-war stance is a bit much sometimes, but it's not just anti-war. I think that if there is a justified cause for going into Iraq, then it should not be by the US but by the UN. Of course, the UN doesn't have forces or enough soldiers/army whatever to have any clout because they probably don't have sufficient funding, as the US owes them billions of dollars in dues. And then it would be a peace-keeping force. It's like when your parents ask you if you ate candy that day, and you're afraid to tell them the truth cuz they'll yell at you. Yep... today's bright spark ideas were brought to you by the letters G, F and I.

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