Love's Tips

In my experience I have found there are certain things you can do to help improve your relationship. If you have or are in a bad relationship - these tips will not help - you need to decide for yourself whether to seek professional counselling - but if you are in a good relationship these tips will help to make it great...

Say I love you first.....

When was the last time you said I LOVE YOU first? Do you always wait for your partner to say it? It can be very draining on your partner if the responsibility rests on them to express feelings of love. It is also very disheartening to know that your partner will only tell you they love you if you say it first. Don't give the impression that you only say I love you out of obligation. Say it spontaneously and say it often.

When your partner says I love you responding with "me too", "same here", "ditto" or anything else like that does not say I love you. If you mean it, say it, say the words. Say I love you. It only takes a second longer to say "I love you" instead of "me too" and it means so much more.

Say the words...

Don't make promises....

Don't make promises you can't keep. Everyone wants to give undertakings for the future to the ones we love, but think very carefully about the promises you make. Are they within your power to fulfill? If not think twice before you make a promise.

Promises are given and received in trust. To break apromise is to break that trust. If it occurs often enough the basis of trust within the relationship will falter, and so eventually will the relationship. In the immortal words of Jim Henson - there is nothing so ugly as going back on a promise.

Never break a promise...

Forgive a broken promise...

If your partner breaks a promise, forgive them for being human. We all make mistakes. Give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they did do everything in their power to fulfill their promise, and more often than not they feel terrible for having broken their word. Show them how much you love them and forgive.

We all lead extremely busy lives, and each of us faces demands from the outside world. We have problems that need our attention, things that need to be dealt with immediately. So do our relationships. Whatever our problems they will come and go, to be replaced by other demands. Unless you wish your partner to come and go also, make them a priority. Once a day if for only five minutes - make your partner your number one priority. Let them know how important they are to you.

Make priorities...

Make time...

"But there are only a certain amount of hours in the day" ... or ... "I just ran out of time". How many times have you said this to yourself or your partner as an excuse for not spending time with them? Make time. Put something else off if you need to. Remember priorities? There are only 24 hours in your day - they are enough - use them wisely.

I cannot tell you how many men I have met both online and in real life who have never received a massage from their partners, or had their feet rubbed or their hair washed. And men - when was the last time you brushed the hair of your lady, or cooked dinner for her? Once a week take time out for your partner. Their week has been tough too. Take the weight of the world off their shoulders for a while, and do something just for them.

Spoil them...

Laugh...

Toy says repeatedly "Life wasn't meant to be easy". I tell him life is what you make it. We all have factors that complicate our lives and often we have little or no control over this. But how we face life makes all the difference. Laugh at yourself and lighten up a little. Doing too much "hard stuff" in a relationship takes the fun away. Find something that makes you both laugh and share it often, even if it is only reciting lines from your favourite Monty Python movie, or tickling each other. Take time to play with the child within, let them out to play and laugh.

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