Scene 8



 
 

A furious explosion detonates the stage. Armed GYPSIES and MONTAVIANS rush back and forth pursued by KIELBASIAN SOLDIERS. It is the beginning of "The Blood Bath Ballet". Downstage, in balletic movements, MARITZA and MARIANNE attempt to return to the palace. They are stopped by LOTTO SCHLUMPERDINK and a FEW GUARDS. MARITZA struggles against them, but THEY capture both women and drag them off. "The Blood Bath Ballet" continues delineating the war involving the GYPSIES, the KIELBASIANS and the MONTAVIANS. It has to be the bloodiest, most violent ballet ever conceived on a stage but with satirical overtones. Heads are lopped off, arms severed, fingers torn asunder. And through it all, there is constant, never-ending BLOOD. VASILY and NIKKO, still in drag, remain unharmed. But ANGELOU is bayoneted through the midriff. As SHE dies, she glances around as if to say, "You see? What did I tell you?" Then she turns upward to the heavens in the same manner as when she sang "Why Me?" The music in the background is a symphonic version of "It's All Your Fault". As the ballet gradually subsides, the backdrop rises and we are again in the cell at Epascadoro prison. The music now changes to the plaintive strains of "Blame It on the Dawn".


MARIANNE

To think…I would wind up my young life in a rat-infested prison.

MARITZA

Will you stop your kvetching!

MARIANNE

The worst part is… We search for years to find the one for us,
The one who'll be the moon and sun for us;
I used to view this all with disbelief,
I found the one, but it was oh, so brief.


MARITZA

Will you cut out that romantic bullcrap!

MARIANNE

How can you say that? Don't you realize that love makes the world go round?

MARITZA

Rabbit turds.

MARIANNE

Love doesn't make the world go round?

MARITZA

Not by the hair of your chinny-chin-chin.

MARIANNE

Then you tell me what makes the world go round.

MARITZA

What do you think…if that activity is not too much of a strain?

MARIANNE

(hesitantly) Hate?

MARITZA

Close, but not close enough.

MARIANNE

Then what?

MARITZA

Fear, my dear. Fear.
  Fear of heights,
Fear of falling,
Insect bites
And creatures crawling.
Fear, fear, fear.

Fear of tombs,
Fear of croaking,
Fear of fumes
From others smoking.
Fear, fear, fear.

When you look at life statistically,
It will take the spunk and grit from you;
Everything done journalistically
Is designed to scare the shit from you.

Sagging jaws,
Income shrinking,
Menopause
And armpits stinking.
I warn you be prepared.
People cherish being scared.
For its fear, fear, fear.


MARIANNE

Fear of bumps
On bumpless faces,
Fear of lumps
In fearful places,
Fear, fear, fear.

Things misplaced,
Random slayers,
Toxic waste
And ozone layers.
Fear, fear, fear.

Oh, the things to fear are myriad,
And I cannot tell you why it is;
When you've gone and missed your period
And you're wondering which guy it is.

Stomach aches
Mean colitis,
Fear of quakes
And gingivitis.
There aren't many spared.
People cherish being scared.

Fear of jobs
And employers,


MARITZA

Fear of mobs
And greedy lawyers.


 TOGETHER

Fear, fear, fear.
 
 MARITZA
Fear of shrewd
Old corp'rate chairmen,
 
MARIANNE
Being screwed
By rude repairmen.


TOGETHER

Fear, fear, fear.


 MARITZA

When your lover is a whiner, too,
And you worry what an ass he is.


MARIANNE

When you're certain it's angina, too,
And you're really only gaseous.


 TOGETHER

Fear of Mars,
Fear of Venus,
Big cigars
And tiny penis.
I warn you be prepared.
People cherish being scared.
For it's fear, fear, fear.
  (Now the cell door bangs open, and LOTTO SCHLUMPERDINK enters carrying a bag. MARIANNE rushes to him, rips open her bodice.)


MARIANNE

Take me! If you want me, you can have me!

MARITZA

Oh, Marianne shut the fuck up!

LOTTO

I have something for you girls.
  (HE reaches into the bag and extracts children's dresses and Mary Pickford-style wigs.)
 
LOTTO
Put these on.
  (MARITZA takes one look at the costumes and rebels.)


 MARITZA

If you think we're going to dress up in these clothes to satisfy your perverted lust…!

LOTTO

Guards!
  (TWO BURLY GUARDS enter dressed as little boys with short pants and Buster Brown wigs. THEY grab Marianne and Maritza, quickly undress them and force them into the children's costumes. MARITZA fights them every step of the way, but MARIANNE remains confused and tentative. When they have finished, MARITZA and MARIANNE look like absurd little girls. GUARDS force enormous lollipops into their hands.)


MARITZA

How dare you think…!

LOTTO

Unfortunately, horny children are difficult to find these days. What with the war on and all that.
  (ANOTHER guard enters wheeling an ancient movie camera. LOTTO gets behind it and begins to crank.)


MARITZA

You fiend! You prick! You perverted mother-fucker! (FIRST GUARD goes for her, but SHE fights him off.) I'll cut off your goddamned hanging balls!

LOTTO

Good. Good. Keep fighting. Hit him with your loillipop.

MARITZA

Hit him with it? I'll jam it right up his tight Kielbasian asshole!

LOTTO

Oh, goody! That's even better.

MARIANNE

Oh, God! Where is Vasily? I thought he would save us! I thought he would come dressed up as a monk and…

LOTTO

That's right. Look up to the ceiling as though you want God to help you. Now, you, Bruno, you lift her skirt as she's staring up to the heavens. And you, Wolfgang, you put your hoop around the Princess and yourself and press closer…closer…great…
  (MARITZA is trying to jam the lollipop into Wolfgang's behind, but MARIANNE is rather enjoying having Bruno under her skirt.)
 
 
 
LIGHTS DIM
 
 
 
 



 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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