WILLING TO LET GO

I remember how I felt
When I used to be in love.
You were always on my mind
You were all I was thinking of.
Constantly wanting to hold your hand
And to feel your caress.
Noone's touch could be better
Yours were always the best.
When I looked into your eyes
All I saw were sparks.
Your smile was the sun
It was the light in the dark.
You became my guiding star
As well as my world.
I wouldn't trade you for anything
Not even for a precious pearl.
But gradually I noticed
How our relationship began to change.
We were drifting apart
We were no longer the same.
All my friends tried to convince me
That I was paranoid.
But we both knew the problems we had
We just couldn't avoid.
I would call you repeatedly
Knowing you were home.
But you knew it was me
So you didn't bother answering the phone.
Then one Friday night
You called me to mainly say
That you think we should break up
On that very day.
My heart got shattered
And my body went weak.
I was unwillingly letting you go
As a tear ran down my cheek.
Hanging up the phone
Tears formed in my eyes.
I felt as if I had lost everything
I felt as if I could die.
Many of my friends called
And said their most comforting words.
You were the only one with no sympathy
When you knew I was deeply hurt.
For weeks, I locked myself at home
And did nothing but moped and cried.
Thinking all those times you claimed you loved me
Was just an absolute lie.
Yet, still, I went on loving you
And wanted to once again be yours.
But is that what I really want
After my fragile heart, you tore?
I thought the worst had come
And no other thing could put me in grief.
But I found out something else
Something that placed me in disbelief.
I found out that you were in love with my friend
Which totally past my limit.
Part of me nearly died
Seeing you two so close and intimate.
Jealousy almost ended our friendship
ANd I'm glad I got back to it in time.
Because I've been thinking alot lately
And here's what I've found.
I no longer see sparks in your eyes
Or the light in your smile.
My body no longer shivers
As I see you walk down the aisle.
My heart is no longer broken
And has started to mend.
Tears no longer form
As I see your shadows descend.
I no longer want to hold your hand
Or to feel your caress.
I no longer wait for your call
Or think that you're the best.
What is this telling me?
I don't really know.
Maybe it's a sign
That I'm finally willing to let you go.
But I want you to know that
You'll always be a part of me.
Forever, a part of me
You'll always be.
I will cherish all our memories
From the very first time we met.
Although you've put me through pain
Loving you is something I'll never regret.
I hope you will never forget me
Remembering me as your first love.
And I hope you'll always think of me
Whenever you see the heavenly stars above.
I'm sure that years from now
I'll still remember who you are....
The first I've ever loved
Once known as my guiding star.

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