Creativity is the vision of a madperson's view of the world or life in general. I'm convinced of this. It seems that only in dimes of a maddening and crude mood, the best of work seems to flow from my fingers. I've often wondered if I should learn to be depressed so that my creative side will see more sunlight.
- -now make sense of that --
you picture me
i'm walking too far ahead
you're calling to me
i can't hear what you said
then you say
'go slow, I fall behind'
the second hand unwinds...
...after my picture fades
and darkness has turned to gray
watching through windows
you're wondering if I'm okay
secrets stolen
from deep inside
the drum beats out of time..."
- Cyndi Lauper - Time After Time
Loopholes...
uncompleted novels...
untold stories....
a sadness of things never said and done.
Not to be mistaken with regret, for i haven't much of that.
Just where the great fair tale of "It's a wonderful life" to see where each road of life could have taken you.
Who knows.... I could have been a great painter... if i could only figure out what to do with that paint brush.
If i've learned one thing with each of my untold stories...
- If you think of the end before you live the beginning, you have no where to go.
- One day at a time, like baby steps. If you try to run before you try to walk, you'll trip. And the fall could kill you.
- Lastly, never put off tomorrow, things you could say today. No one likes guessing games, just ask the contestants on the 'price is right'.
First day of school today for this year. Always an exciting, dreaded, wonder day. Dreaded only cause i'm only about three weeks behind in all the stuff i needed to do before the kids came back. Though, if not for the kids, the job wouldn't be as fruitful.
I used to supervise for a living. A video tape plant. Was the only other time I can think of, that instead of that dark sick feeling like i had the flu, I actually enjoyed going to work. That was about power. I'd be lying if i said different. At the age of 20, I learned a great deal about people and how to treat them. Mostly in a way that they would work their fingers to the bone for you... and smile doing it. Yeah... all about power.
This job isn't about power though, though my job is in the "center of the universe"... is how the faculity refers to me.. it's more about the kids than anything.
Watching them grow and figure things out is a great joy... and with that many kids in one place...
there's never a dull moment.
Now, if only the kids could teach me how to type without all these damn periods.
Too many tracks, too many thoughts, so much emotion...
... never enough words or time to explain it all within a reasonable explanation. (forgive me lord for i can't spell)
We were born
with our eyes wide open
so alive
with wild hope
Now can you tell me why
time after time
They drag you down
Down in the darkness deep
Fools in their madness all around
Know that the light don't sleep
- David Gray - Silver Lining
I think it's possible to love yourself to a dark and deep depression.
I think it's also possible to love yourself to a level that you're singing with angels.
God's wrath on human's was the creation of the heart. Such a powerful and fierce thing.
Shatterable with just one word.
Hope is yet a salvation of life.
