毛毛雨：杂记篇
~ Reading Journal and Miscellanea ~

06.12
/////

抿还手记·滤沙篇

又名：落烟

///// 开篇语 /////

世间本无事，庸人自扰之。

~~~

身如菩提树，心如明镜台；
时时勤拂拭，不使留尘埃。

菩提本非树，明镜亦非台；
本来无一物，何处落尘埃。

///// 之二 /////

子曰：“己所不欲，勿施于人。”

///// 百花错拳 /////

袁士霄少年时钻研武学，颇有成就，后来遇到一件大失意事，性情激
变，发愿做前人所未做之事，打前人所未打之拳，于是遍访海内名家，
或学师，或偷习，或挑斗踢场而观其招，或明抢暗夺而取其谱，将各
家武术几乎学了个全，中年后隐居天池，融通百家，别走蹊径，创出
了这路“百花错拳”。这拳法不但无所不包，其妙处尤在于一个“错”
字，每一招均和各派祖传正宗手法相似而实非，一出手对方以为定是
某招，举手迎敌之际，才知打来的方位手法完全不同，其精微要旨在
于“似是而非，出其不意”八字。旁人只道拳脚全打错了，岂知正因
为全部打错，对方才防不胜防。须知既是武学高手，见闻必博，所学
必精，于诸派武技胸中早有定见，不免“百花”易敌，“错”字难当。

<<书剑恩仇录>>

///// 宇宙 /////

后来想，凡有一人的主张，得了赞和，是促其前进的，得了反对，
是促其奋斗的，独有叫喊于生人中，而生人并无反应，既非赞同，
也无反对，如置身毫无边际的荒袁无可措手的了，这是怎样的悲
哀呵，我于是以我所感到者为寂寞。

<<呐喊>>

///// 阿飞 /////

阿飞想了很久，忽然笑了笑，道：“我只不过忽然想通了。”

“忽然想通了”，这太字说来简单，要做到可真不容易。

我佛如来在菩提树下得道，就因为他忽然想通了。

达摩祖师面壁十八年，才总算“忽然想通了”。

无论什么事，你只要能“忽然想通了”，你就不会有烦恼，但达
到这地步之前，你一定已不知道有过多少烦恼。

<<多情剑客无情剑>>

///// 妙手空空 /////

无人无毯，物我两忘

<<多情剑客无情剑>>

///// 开篇寄语 /////

少女道：“禅宗传道时，佛祖口念佛揭：‘身如菩提树，心如明镜台，
时时勤拂拭，不使留尘埃’。这已经是很高深的佛理了。”

老人道：“这道理正如‘环即是我，我即是环’，能练到这一步，已
不容易。”

少女道：“但六袒惠能说的更妙：‘菩提本非树，明镜亦非台，本来
无一物，何处落尘埃。’所以他才承继了禅宗的道统。”

<<多情剑客无情剑>>

(按：换句话说，“世间本无事，庸人自扰之。”)

///// 短 /////

愿我如星君如月，夜夜流光相皎洁。

(按：摘自哪里忘了。)

///// 更短 /////

勇者不惧，无欲则刚。

(按：摘自哪里忘了。)

///// 摘自哪里第三次忘了 /////

“是福不是祸，是祸躲不过。……由它去吧！”

(按：摘自哪里忘了。)

///// 西门吹雪 /////

陆小凤忽然道：“这一战真的势在必行么？”

西门吹雪道：“嗯。”

陆小凤道：“然后呢？”

西门吹雪道：“然后没有了。”

<<陆小凤传奇>>

///// 回首；银钩赌坊 /////

但是在这一瞬间，他忽然觉得这一切都是值得的，若是随时光倒流，
让他再回到银钩赌坊，重新选择，他还是会毫不考虑，再来一次。
艰苦的经颜，岂非总是能使人生更充足，更丰富。要得到真正的快
乐欢愉，岂非总是先付出艰苦的代价。

<<陆小凤传奇>>

///// 骗人 /////

然后，他盯着王伶花，一字字道：“现在，我要你知道两件事，第一，
有些人不愿骗人，并非他不会，只不过是他不愿意而已，他要是愿意
时，随时都可以骗人的。”

<<武林外史>>

///// 鹰和狼 /////

琼楼玉宇，高处不胜寒……人一旦到了顶峰之上，心情自然难免萧索

<<武林外史>>

///// 沈浪 /////

沈浪笑道：“一百个人中，只怕有九十九个以为我会从洞里钻进去，
那快活王也不能例外，只因人在危险时，就见到有藏身之处，必定会
钻进去的，这本是人的天性，自上古以来便已是如此了。”

朱七七笑道：“但你却是例外。”

沈浪叹道：“我能与快活王这等人斗智，自然处处都得违反人的本性，
这样才能出乎快活王意之外，让他无法猜中。”

<<武林外史>>

///// 小子 /////

此处不留爷，自有留爷处。
处处不留爷，才把爷难住。

(按：摘自哪里忘了。)

///// 心湖 /////

清者自清，浊者自浊。

(按：摘自哪里忘了。)

///// 天才与白痴 /////

你知道不知道，我们比白痴更悲哀，因为我们太聪明，所以，
骄傲，自大，多疑，猜忌，贪心……都是聪明的副产品！你
看过自杀的白痴吗？没有！你看过自杀的天才吗？太多了。

(按：摘自哪里忘了。)

///// 马路对面 /////

你不觉得，这就是人类的故事吗？人有两种，一种随波逐流，
平凡地活下去就够了，于是，他是正常的，正常的婚姻，正
常的职业，正常的生活，正常的老，正常的死。另一种人，
是命运的挑战者，永远和自己的命运作对，追求灵魂深处的
真与美，于是他就一切反常，爱的时候爱得要死，不爱的时
候不肯装模作样，他忠于自己，而成了与众不同。

(按：摘自哪里忘了。)

///// 对弈 /////

“叫吃！”逸云法师下了一个棋子，十分得意，指指棋盘说：
“你瞧，这一颗子把这整个棱角的颓势都挽救过来了，你这
个角又丢了。看样子，这盘你没什么希望，金角银边草肚皮，
你就是肚子大，角和边都完了。”

何慕天一声不响，慢吞吞地在棋盘上落了一个子，逸云法师
皱皱眉，伸长脖子，研究了大半天，一拍膝头，叹口气说：
“糟糕！马失前蹄，这一下子完了！”

“所以，”何慕天沉静地说：“当一盘棋没有成定局的时候，
最好别先下断语，要知道一盘棋千变万化，不是你能预先知
道结局的！”

(按：说不定，命运这盘棋是永远走不到定局的， 除非人能
置身于命运之外而俯视命运，而非困缚于命运之中，视命运
为世界，即而随意识局限在这个世界中。
"Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created it." 
━爱因斯坦)

逸云法师凝视着何慕天。

“何先生，你到这儿来也快一年了，许多时候，我觉得你满
肚子机锋，满脑子哲理，或者，你该属于佛家的人。”

“天下本一家，为什么还要把‘佛家’划成一个小圈子呢？”

何慕天笑笑说，望着山坡上的石级。“怎么样？逸云法师？
这一盘你认输了吧？我们也该结束了，假如我的眼力不错，
我有个朋友上山来了。”

“是吗？”逸云法师问，也掉头望着山坡，果然，有个个子
不高，胖胖身材的男人，正慢慢地拾级而上。“是谁？是上
次来看过你的那位王先生吗？”

“不错！”何慕天说着，用眼光迎接着走过来的王孝城。

“别忙，”逸云法师在棋盘上落了一颗子：“我们的棋还没
下完，我又叫吃了。”

“怎么？”何慕天瞪着棋盘，“这是怎么回事？一转眼局势
又变了！”

“所以，”逸云法师学着何慕天的口气说：“当一盘棋没有
成定局的时候，最好现别下断语，要知道一盘棋千变万化，
不是你能预先知道结局的！”

何慕天笑了笑，站起身来，扑落了身上的落叶，说：“好吧！
我认输了！”

逸云法师把棋子一惚，也站起身来，笑着说：“你没输，是
你心乱了！而我就乘虚攻入。何先生，看样子你的尘缘还是
未了。我先进去了，你和你的朋友谈谈吧！”

<<几度夕阳红>>

///// 夕阳 /////

“一天又要过去了，”何慕天安安静静地说：“明天的夕阳再红
的时候，我已经不知道制造了多少不同的棋局！”是的，夕阳每
天都一样的红，人生已经不知几经变幻！故事会完吗？

<<几度夕阳红>>

///// 神龟 /////

“忍”字怀中一把刀。

(按：摘自哪里忘了。)

///// 筋斗云 /////

一飞冲出九霄外，
海阔天空任游行。
历经劫变恍如梦，
仍在三界五行中。

(按：摘自哪里忘了。)

///// 穿梭 /////

天地者万物之逆旅，光阴者百代之过客。

(按：好像是在哪个网站上看到的。)

///// 悟空 /////

天籁妙，山水雅，醉露为酒玉为花。
若人问我归何处，彩云深处是我家。

(按：好像是在哪个网站上看到的。)

///// 很多事 /////

是可遇，而不可求的。

(按：摘自哪里忘了。)

///// 过客 /////

是非成败转头空，青山依旧在，几度夕阳红。

(按：摘自那个那里。)

///// 门槛 /////

往前一步是黄昏，退后一步是人生。

歌曲：<<伤心太平洋>>

///// 乾坤大挪移 /////

天下大势，分久必合，合久必分。

(按：摘自哪里忘了。)

///// 融会贯通 /////

只听赵半山朗声念道：“太极阴阳少人修，吞吐开合问刚柔。正
隅收放任君走，动静变里何须愁？生克二法随着用，闪进全在动
中求。轻重虚实怎的是？重里现轻勿稍留。”这口诀陈禹却从没
听见过，但他此时全无怀疑，用心记忆。只见赵半山拉开架式，
比着拳路，说道：“万物都分阴阳。拳法中的阴阳包含正反，软
硬，刚柔，伸屈，上下，左右，前后等等。伸是阳，屈是阴；上
是阳，下是阴。散手以吞法为先，用刚劲进击，如蛇吸食；合手
以吐法为先，用柔劲陷入，似牛吐草。均须冷，急，快，脆。至
于正，那是四个正面，隅是四角。临敌之际，务须以我之正冲敌
之隅。倘若正对正，那便冲撞，便是以硬力拼硬力。若是年幼力
弱，功力不及对手，定然吃亏。”胡斐一直在凝神听他讲解拳理，
听到此处，心中一凛：“难道这句话是说给我听的么？是说我与
王剑英以力拼力的错处么？”却见赵半山一眼不望自己，手脚不
停，口中也丝毫不停：“若是以角冲角，拳法上叫作：‘轻对轻，
全落空’。必须以我之重，击敌之轻；以我之轻，避敌之重。再
说到‘闪进’二字，当闪避敌方进击之时，也须同时反攻，这是
守中有攻；而自己功击之时，也须同时闪避敌方进招，这是攻中
有守，此所谓‘逢闪必进，逢进必闪’。拳诀中言道：‘何谓打？
何谓顾？打即顾，顾即打，发手便是。何谓闪？何谓进？进即闪，
闪即进，不必远求。’若是攻守有别，那便不是上乘的武功。”
这番话只将胡斐听得如梦初醒，心道：“若是我早知此理，适才
与王氏兄弟比武，未必就输。”心中对赵半山钦佩到了极处。赵
半山又道：“武功中的劲力千变万化，但大别只有三般劲，即轻，
重，空。用重不如用轻，用轻不如用空。拳诀言道：‘双重行不
通，单重倒成功’。双重是力与力争，我欲去，你欲来，结果是
大力制小力。单重则是以我小力，击敌无力之处，那便能一发成
功。要使得敌人的大力处处落空，我内力虽小，却能胜敌，这才
算是武学高手。”

<<飞狐外传>>

(按：含有<<孙子兵法>>里的几种道理。)

///// 乖乖，来，背台词！ /////

“我是受了点小伤没有错。”解决掉所有的食物，他瘫坐在沙发上。
“可是没有包成重伤的样子的话，怎么对得起那两个杀手的卖力演
出？人家远渡重洋专程来对付我，我总要有点回馈嘛！”

孟冠人，<<长辫子精灵的情事>>

///// 吃不消 /////

不是我要批评，有时候那些长辈的眼睛不免有糊了牛屎的嫌疑。
他们纯粹是为了自己的情谊以及作媒欲而擅自玩弄了子女的姻
缘线，美其名为月老，似乎以天命自居，认定了自己是宿世良
缘的牵引者，不由分说，千方百计撮合他们心目中理想的对象；
百宝尽出，非要我们承认朗有情、妹有意不可。不堪其扰下的
我当机立断地杀去朱棣亚的办公室，求他与我结婚，让长辈们
放过我们吧，随便要我承认什么都好，就算要我承认是AIDS的
带原者也成，只求那些无聊人士结束跟踪，骚扰，叨念，三不
五时设计我们当机在电梯内，或逼我们各自去与那些阿猫阿狗
相亲，以“察觉”自己真正爱的是青梅竹马，无人可相较。更
扯的是灌醉我们两个，脱光我们锁在卧房二天一夜──说真的，
面对这种恶作剧而能强自吞下杀人欲望不发作，实在是因为自
己很孝顺，不然今天会站在我眼前对我叫嚣的恐怕是墓碑上的
照片了。那些长辈实在是一点国学常识都没有。“青梅竹马”
是挺美的用词，出自于长干行；但他们可能不知道李白大人的
“长干行”有三首，从青梅竹马的情谊叙述到结婚、到丈夫远
行、到丈夫不曾回来。事实上“长干行”是一首悲剧的叙述诗，
最后妻子冒险相寻，没有寻到丈夫，悔恨嫁作商人妇。而那个
丈夫自她十六岁出远门后便没再回家门，是死了还是另觅新欢
不得而知。

杜菲凡，<<最好别爱我>>

///// 恶作剧 /////

我双手抱胸，摇了摇头，忍不住想“玩”一下这名小女子。她
可能不知道我这个人最受不了挑战的，对于她心爱的物品，愈
是宝贝我愈是想碰。“我需要安慰。”我缓缓走近他们，以及
我所讨厌的小动物，在娇小女子戒备的神色下，双手抓住钟昂
的汗衫，印上我的唇，牢牢密合住他愕然的嘴。哎呀！碰到他
的舌头了！好恶心，但又有点麻麻的，战栗了一下，我推开他
退开一步，以手背抹去唇上的麻辣感，忙不迭地对娇小女子展
示我的胜利，伸出右手比划出“V”字型，微笑得不可一世，往
大门口走去也。

杜菲凡，<<最好别爱我>>

///// 灵魂深处 /////

“我是一个自由人。”我站起身，看向远处的闲云朵朵，轻淡
地说着。执意自由的人必然不会沉浸于情爱中去牵牵绊绊，当
然─也就不会太深刻去意识到自己的姓别。脱出感情一事，自
由的灵魂，理应不会有性别，是吧？而，没有了肉体的迟滞，
灵魂的属性应该像云一般，来去无迹，潇洒不群吧？

杜菲凡，<<最好别爱我>>

///// 观众的需求 /////

“对，你还装作没受伤的样子，明明你就是伤心，不然你不会
到花莲疗伤！”谷小子悲痛欲绝地表演着。谁规定我前来花莲
一定是在疗伤？我热爱“趴趴走”也不是一天两天的事了。他
们这些家伙简直反应过度，拼命强化我“婚变”的伤心。弄到
最后，如果我不伤心一点，岂不是无法应观众的需求？罪过呀！
只是，我何必扮悲剧角色满足他们的安慰欲与幻想欲？我又不
是闲到想上吊了。

杜菲凡，<<最好别爱我>>

(按：和孟冠人倒是一对。苦笑也是生活的几大乐趣之一。)

///// 倒拉一把 /////

“我特地请三天假来陪你游山玩水耶！”他叫。“拜托，你才
刚来，而我来了七天了。你想陪我玩，却是我来当导游，累的
是我，你这家伙竟敢一副施恩的口气，欠揍！”

杜菲凡，<<最好别爱我>>

///// 八面玲珑 /////

如果我今天长得貌比天仙，当然就没话说了；男人重色，不丢
心至少也要失神。再者，男人也会因为受人恩惠而以身相许(
我遇到过了好几次)，即使长相平凡如我，多少也会勾到几个不
长眼的男人。但，如果一个男人纯粹只因我是“我”而看上我，
一个平凡，霸道，甚至是嚣张的人，实在是不可思议。我，不
事生产，混吃等死，以榨钱为乐，疯起来吓死人，恋童症，不
美，不柔亦不娇。

杜菲凡，<<最好别爱我>>

///// 欣赏 /////

“可是也得看我接不接受呀！钟昂，你很不错，但不能因为我
欣赏你就把满腔的情意往你身上丢。事实上我欣赏过的男人很
多，要是全嫁了，保证打败玉婆的记录。不要因为欣赏而去爱
上一个人，求你。”

杜菲凡，<<最好别爱我>>

///// 底牌 /////

“太快亮出底牌，就难达到欺敌的功效。而，要打退敌人的方
式有很多种，不见得要疾言厉色。愈不动怒，心愈定，心定了
下来，才能轻易制服对手，等到自己得到胜利了，原先所受的
气自然也就被得意给取代了，明白了吗？”

<<这次来真的>>

///// 态度问题 /////

玩世不恭，其实也是一种生命的对待方式。无愧于自己，亦无
妨于他人，谁能批判我的是非？

(按：摘自那里忘了。)

///// 王八蛋 /////

“把一个人扔下悬崖，再丢下一根绳子，你认为我该对这种王
八蛋感激涕零吗？”

<<火焰解语花>>

///// 升 /////

人之所滞，滞在未有；若托心本无，异想便息。

(按：摘自哪里忘了。)

///// 圣旨 /////

奉天承运，皇帝诏曰：……钦此。

///// 心机 /////

君子是永远斗不过小人的。

(按：摘自哪里忘了。)

///// 抹油之法 /////

为今之计，只有先搅得天下大乱，才能乘乱脱身。

<<笑傲江湖>>

///// 散身之法 /////

你说“各招浑成，敌人便无法可破”，这句话还只说对了一小
半。不是“浑成”，而是跟本无招。你的剑招使得再浑成，只
要有迹可寻，敌人便有隙可乘。但如你根本并无招式，敌人如
何来破你的招式？

跟本无招，如何可破？

要切肉，总得有肉可切；要斩柴，总得有柴可斩；敌人要破你
的剑招，你须得有剑招给人家来破才成。一个从未学过武功的
常人，拿了剑乱挥乱舞，你见闻再博，也猜不到他下一剑要刺
向哪里，砍向何处。就算是剑术至精之人，也破不了他的招式，
只因并无招式，“破招”二字，便谈不上了。只是不曾学过武
功之人，虽无招式，却会给人轻而易举地打倒。真正上乘的剑
术，则是能制人而决不能为人所制。

风清扬，<<笑傲江湖>>

///// 向心离心 /////

存招式之意，而无招式之形。

<<笑傲江湖>>

///// 顺流逆流 /////

那老者道：“唉，蠢才，蠢才！无怪你是岳不群的弟子，拘泥
不化，不知变通。剑术之道，讲究如行云流水，任意所之。你
使完那一招‘白虹贯日’，剑尖向上，难道不会顺势拖下来吗？
剑招中虽没这等姿式，难道你不会别出心裁，随手配合吗？一
切须当顺其自然。行乎其不得不行，止乎其不得不止，倘若串
不成一起，也就罢了，总之不可有半点勉强。串得巧妙也罢，
笨拙也罢，只要将那三十四招华山派的绝招联成一片，且融成
一体，使得像也好，不像也好，你只需随意挥洒，不可强求。”

要令狐冲越随便越好，这正投其所好，使剑时心中畅美难言。

<<笑傲江湖>>

(按：使剑如使笔。)

///// 模糊概念 /////

有心者为善，虽善不赏。
无心者为恶，虽恶不罚。

<<聊斋志异>>

///// 连锁反应 /////

一窍通时百窍通。

<<西游记>>

///// 因果关系 /////

“修练内功，必须心中一尘不染。心若不静，四肢亦不能静，
所以若有杂念，必形之于外。”

<<白发魔女传>>

／／／／／　自欺欺人　／／／／／

欺人而不欺己者，很难一手尽遮天下人耳目，终必败破，中乘
也。自欺而不欺人者，必论庸人自扰之苦，下愚也。自欺而后
欺人，始登上乘境界，是所谓若愚。

《不可言传篇》第三十七计：自欺欺人

《天涯侠侣》

（按：此乃演员须知。）

（又按：我想一生能够两者都不欺的人终究是没有的。要做到
此生不欺人必要据有一尘不染的人格。要做到此生不欺己则要
据有无时不清的头脑。难啊！ ）

／／／／／　无拘无束　／／／／／

不错，普天之下，各门各派剑法中之精妙处，我无一不熟记在
心中，但我那师兄，却比我更胜一筹。……只因我虽将天下所
有剑法全部记住，我那师兄也能记得丝毫不漏，但他却能在记
住后又全部忘记，我却万万不能，纵然想尽千方百记，却也难
忘掉其中一种。……我那师兄将剑法全部忘记之后，方自大彻
大悟，悟了“剑意”。他竟将心神全部融入剑中，以意驭剑，
随心所欲。虽无一固定的招式，但信手挥来，却无一不是妙到
毫颠之妙招。也正因他剑法绝不拘围于一定之形式，是以人跟
本不知该如何抵挡。我虽能使遍天下剑法，但我之所得，不过
是剑法之形骸，他之所得，却是剑法之灵魂。

《《『左水右完』花洗剑录》》

（按：和打乒乓差不多。难怪这些作者个个会写出几句某某高
人“发现花道、棋道中之至理实与剑道相差无几”等等类似之
论。确实有点道理。）

///// 山山水水 /////

子曰：智者乐水，仁者乐山；智者动，仁者静；智者乐，仁者寿。

<<中国哲学简史>>

/////

06.11
/////

June 8, 2002

p.266 illusion and disillusion in marriage

Maria

I suppose that most men, when they fall in love, hang some sort of label on the
woman they want, and attribute to her all sorts of characteristics that are not
really hers.  Or should I say, not completely hers, because it is hard to see
things in somebody else that have no shred of reality, if you are not a
complete fool.  Women do it, too.  Had I not convinced myself that Hollier was,
in the very best sense, a Wizard?  And could anyone deny that Hollier was in a
considerable measure (though probably less than I imagined) a Wizard?  I
suppose the disillusion that comes after marriage, about which is so much said
now, is the recognition that the label was not precise, or else the lover had
neglected to read the small print on the label.

/////

p. 299 cross-referenced to p. 36-7 motto and marriage

Conloqui et conridere et vicissim benevole obsequi, simul leger libros
dulciloquos, simul nugari et simul honestari. (latin)

"Conversations and jokes together, mutual rendering of good services, the
reading together of sweetly phrased books, the sharing of nonsense and mutual
attentions."

from Saint Augustine's Confessions

/////

p. 300 more on marriage

Darcourt

Young couples whom I interview before marriage are sincere in their faith, or
pretend to a sincerity they think I expect, but I know that in the household
they set up there will be other gods than the one God.  The Romans talked of
household gods, and they knew what they were talking about; in every home and
every marriage there are the lesser gods, who sometimes swell to extraordinary
size, and even when they are not consciously acknowledged they have great
power.  Every one of the household gods has a dark side, a mischievous side, as
when Pride disguises itself as self-respect.  Anger as the possession of high
standards of behaviour, or Lust as freedom of choice.

/////

06.07
/////

June 5, 2002

from Andrew Robinson's online journal

entry of April 19 ... "basis and extent of human logic" ... on limits of
reasoning

the law of non-contradiction: that true is not false in the same respect and at
the same time

Now, if we try and question the law of non-contradiction particularly, it seems
that we are left in a realm far beyond our understanding.  If the true and
false are the same (and hence are also not, but this duality and unity together
continue infinitely in a way that cannot be described), there is basically
nothing that we can think or say.  We can't question anything within this
framework for we'd never understand our question properly. . .Anyways, from
this it follows that our thinking is limited by something which is not itself,
and therefore must be external to it.  As such, it is not limitless.  It
certainly then does have a limit, and we find from this that we are finite, for
in trying to think what we cannot, we are trying to reach beyond ourselves to
something other than us.  As such, there must be something else, something
which governs us.

/////

entry of April 23 ... on zero and infinity

I've been thinking about zero and infinity a bit recently, and it seems to me
that they are necessarily connected.  They seem to be in some way exactly
opposite (zero is nothing, infinity is all things) and in some way identical
(zero has no bounds as it has no content, and any bound would be content,
infinity is defined as essentially something without a limit).  It also seems
that they are connected in that any instance of zero is identical with an
infinite number of instances of zero, so that means that in order to have an
instance of zero you must have an infinite number of zeros.  By instance I mean
0 in algebra (ie 0) or geometry.  In algebra, adding 0 to anything is identical
to (0 + ... + 0) as is the same with multiplying by 0 or (0 x ... x 0).  In
geometry, zero is essentially a point, and there is no difference between one
instance of a point and two instances of the same point, so there can be no
difference between either and an infinite number of instances.  As such, it
seems impossible to have zero without having infinity.  Is the converse true? 
I'm not sure about this.

/////

June 6, 2002

entry of April 25 ... more on infinity

Infinity itself cannot be understood because it cannot be contained.  It is by
definition that which a) reaches outside itself b) has no boundary and c) is
the bound to itself.  Now b and c are essentially equivalent except that c
implies that infinity must also have content (because zero also has no
boundary). . .in order to have any understanding of infinity, we can only see
parts of it, or see it in terms of finite things.  One such way would be to say
infinity = infinity + 1.  This only points to it though, because infinity can
never be actually achieved.  If it could, then Zeno's problem would not be a
problem at all (the tortoise and Achilles).  Now if infinity could be
understood in its entirety (by us), then that would be a contradiction.  One
way that that it is undeniable in which we are finite is in how we move through
time.  We certainly do not experience and see time all in one instant, but
there is instead always a future.  In this way, we are limited by the present
and can not comprehend the infinite because we ourselves are not infinite. 
Another way of looking at this is since infinity / 2 = infinity, it follows
that any part of infinity is exactly identical to the whole of infinity (assume
the same order of infinity here, likely the highest).  Since we cannot
understand each part of a whole as identical with the whole, it follows that we
cannot understand infinity.  We think by dividing and uniting, but they must be
identical in infinity (division and multiplication do not change it, assuming
not with zero).

Note: 1. look for "the third man rule which plagues Plato."
2. reasoning amply arguable, but content useful.

/////

entry of April 28 ... on drive

That I must or have to means that there are consequences if I don't do whatever
it is that I must do.  If I don't care about these consequences, it doesn't
matter (ie I don't really have to then).  If I do, I act because of a fear of
those consequences, or of the results of them.  Thus need implies fear, and is
pushed by it.

Now that I want to means that there is a desire for the result.  In this case,
I am not moved by fear but rather by desire or like.  This can ultimately be
compared to the other side (or opposite of fear), to being pulled to a result.

If either is missing, it is incomplete as an action, or at least it is less
guided.  With fear, a person can go in any direction away, but with desire
there is only one direction towards.  As such, desire seems a much greater tool
than fear could ever be, unless the power of fear is greater.

Note: in other words, human actions are ALL purpose-driven.

/////

06.01
/////

May 31, 2002

p. 180 universities

"Ludlow talks about the university as a town," said the Warden, "but I'm not so
sure that's the right definition."

"Surely a university is a city of youth," said Mrs. Skeldergate.

"Not a bit of it," said the Warden.  "Lots of youth in a university,
fortunately, but youth alone could not sustain such an institution.  It is a
city of wisdom, and the heart of the university is its body of learned men; it
can be no better than they, and it is at their fire the young come to warm
themselves.  Because the young come and go, but we remain.  They are the minute-
hand, we the hour-hand of the academic clock.  Intelligent societies have
always preserved their wise men in institutions of one kind or another, where
their chief business is to be wise, to conserve the fruits of wisdom and to add
to them if they can."

/////

June 1, 2002

p. 188 skepticism

Parlabane

"The real sceptic, however, lives in a constant atmosphere of carefully
balanced dubiety about everything; he will not accept that there are any
satisfactory grounds for acquiescence in any statement or proposition
whatever.  Of course if some fool tells him that it is a fine day he will
probably nod because he hasn't time to haggle with the fool over what he means
by a word like 'fine'.  But in all important things he reserves his judgement."

"Doesn't he admit that some things are good and some bad?  Some things
desirable and some undesirable?"

"Those would be decisions in ethics, and his aim in matters of ethics is to
deflate all pretension; the kind of judgement you speak of is pretentious
because it rests on some sort of metaphysics.  Metaphysics is gibble-gabble,
though admittedly often fascinating.  Scepticism strives to assist every
metaphysic to destroy itself--to hang itself in its own garters, so to speak."

"But that leaves you without anything at all!"

"Not quite.  It leaves you with a cautious recognition that the contradictory
of any general proppsition may be asserted with as much claim to belief as the
proposition itself."

/////

p. 190 Friedrich Nietzsche

Parlabane

"Nietzsche once said that there could be no gods, because he could not endure
it if there were gods and he were not one of them himself."

/////

p. 196 Parlabane's first novel

Parlabane

"My life has been a romance.  My novel is my life, slightly disguised but not
very much.  I don't need imnagination: I have rich fact.  I am writing about me
and all the people I have met who are important to me, and about my ideas, and
how they have changed.  And I don't mind telling you that when my novel appears
there will be some red faces among those I have encountered along the road.  I
am not writing to justify myself, but to put down the evidence about a
remarkable spiritual adventure, so that the readers can judge for themselves. 
As they certainly will."

Note: Hoho, are all first novels like this?!?!

/////

p. 198 root and crown (wow)

Parlabane

"Don't suppose I think you capable of anything so stupid and low as a desire to
conceal your Gypsy blood, my very dear Molly.  I am not so coarse in my
perceptions as that.  I think you are trying to suppress it because it is the
opposite of what you are trying to be--the modern woman, the learned woman, the
creature wholly of this age and this somewhat thin and sour civilization.  You
are not trying to conceal it; you are trying to tear it out.  But you can't,
you know.  My advice to you, my dear, is to let your root feed your crown."

drawing a reference to p. 190

Parlabane

"Nietzsche once said that there could be no gods, because he could not endure
it if there were gods and he were not one of them himself.  Which is as good as
saying that nothing can be true if it does not put Friedrich Nietzsche at the
top of the tree.  I am not like that; I recognize that a tree has a bottom as
well as a top, a root as well as a crown.  That is to say, I assume it to be so
for practical purposes, because I have never seen or heard of a tree that did
not fit that description.

"I have thought a good deal about trees; I like them.  They speak eloquently of
the balanced dubiety which I told you was the sceptical attitude.  No splendid
crown without the strong root that works int he dark, drawing its nourishment
among the rocks, the soil, hidden waters, and all the little, burrowing
things.  A man is like that; his splendours and his fruits are to be seen, to
win him love and admiration.  But what about the root?

"Have you ever seen a bulldozer clearing land?  It advances upon a great tree
and shoves and pushes inexorably until the tree is down and thrust out of the
way, and all of that effort is accompanied by a screaming and wrenching sound
from the tree as the great roots are torn from the ground.  It is a
particularly distressing kind of death.  And when the tree is upturned, the rot
proves to be as big as the crown.

"What is the root of man?  All sorts of things that nourish his visible part,
but the deepest root of all, the tap-root, is that child he once was, of which
I spoke to you when I was amusing you with the story of my life.  That is the
root which goes deepest because it is reaching downward toward the ancestors.

"The ancestors--how grand it sounds!  But the root does not go back to those
old stuffed shirts with white wigs whose portraits people display so proudly,
but to our unseen depths--which means the messy stuff of life from which the
real creation and achievement takes its nourishment.  The root is far more like
a large placenta than it is like those family trees that are all branches."

/////

05.30b
Robertson Davies, The Cornish Trilogy I: The Rebel Angels (p.99)

Hollier vs. Darcourt

"So you think there's no explanation for Parlabane?  For his failure to live up
to expectation?  For what he is now?"

"You've lived in a university longer than I have, Clem, and you've seen lots of
splendidly promising young people disappear into mediocrity.  We put too much
value on a certain kind of examination-passing brain and a ready tongue."

"In a minute you'll be saying that character is more important than
intelligence.  I know several people of splendid character who haven't got the
wits of a hen."

"Stop telling me what I'm going to say in a minute, Clem, and take a good look
at yourself: certainly one of the most brilliant men in this university and a
man of international reputation, and the first time you get into a tiny moral
mess with a girl you become a complete simpleton."

"You presume on your cloth to insult me."

. . .

". . .let me tell you what twenty years of the cloth, as you so old-fashionedly
call it, have taught me.  Intellectual endowment is a factor in a man's fate,
and so is character, and so is industry, and so is courage, but they can all go
right down the drain without another factor that nobody likes to admit, and
that's sheer, bald-headed Luck."

/////

p.137 - a view on money

Magdalena Theotoky vs. Arthur Cornish

"How odd are you?  But I suppose working with figures keeps you sane."

"Do I work with figures?"

"What else is working with money?"

"Oh--quite different.  Money's smething you shove around, like electricity."

"Like electricity?"

"Like large power-grids, and transformers, and that sort of thing.  The
diffusion of electricity is an extremely important kind of engineering.  You
decide where to put the energy, and how to get it there, according to the
result you expect.  Money is a form of power."

"A kind of power most people think they don't have enough of."

"That's quite different.  The personal money people are always making such a
fuss about depends heavily on where the big power-money is put--what bonds and
industries get the heavy support, and when.  People who aren't in the money
trade talk about making money; they are able to do that because of the
decisions people like me make about the power-money.  The money people want for
their personal use is all part of the big scheme, just as the electricity they
turn on at a switch in their houses is a tiny part of what happens through the
big grid.  Brightens things up for them but it isn't much in the large scheme. 
What anybody can do with money for mere personal satisfaction is extremely
limited.  It's the power-money that's fascinating."

/////

p.152 wisdom

Hollier

". . .It refreshed me to hear her, because it was like Paracelsus himself, that
very great man and emperor of boasters.  And you remember what he said: Never
hope to find wisdom at the high colleges alone--consult old women, Gypsies,
magicians, wanderers, and all manner of peasant folk and random folk, and learn
from them, for these have more knowledge about such things than all the high
colleges."

05.30
-Previous Collection of Quotes-

PeArL JaM

1. (n.) When PEARLs of wisdom and sputters of woids (and woids and more woids)
as a direct result of homo sapien thought-JAMs* are mixed and minced and
grinded in a mixer that is also an effective mincer and a grinder -> the
resultant patties** emitted in discrete puffs*** just like Einstein's photon
babies.

* jams as in traffic jams, not as in strawberry jams
** NEED HELP??  PATTIES: Think ethreal, non-existent, abstract, and
philosophical beef being reformatted to fit ethreal, non-existent, abstract,
and philosophical hamburgers.
*** due to the "jam" factor

2. (v.) The process of creating pearl jams.

(might be missing any new quote used and retired from Feb 5 - 20)

Older Quotes (used at dl979@freenet.carleton.ca)

(Author Lost)
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

Quotes (used with eponine007@hotmail.com)

Richard K. Bethell
You can't love big until you love small.

Drew Barry Moore
"Ever After" (movie)
just breathe..

Phantom & Christine
"Past the Point of No Return" (duet from Phantom of the Opera)
Past the point of no return
The final threshold
The bridge is CROSSED so STAND and WATCH IT BURN
Beyond the point of NO return

Roxette
from Pretty Woman
"It Must Have Been Love" (song)
But in and outside
I've turned to water
Like a tear drop
In your palm

Valjean, Eponine, Fantine
Finale from "Les Miserables" (musical)
Take my hand
And lead me to salvation
Take my love
For love is everlasting
And remember
The truth that once was spoken
To love another person
Is to see the face of God

Unknown
I used up all my sick days. . .so I called in dead.

Christine
"Think of Me" from The Phantom of the Opera
Think of August when the trees were green
Don't think about the way things might have been

Mark Twain
It ain't what you don't know
that gets you in trouble;
it's what you know for sure
that ain't so.

~~~Yiffie's 1st Law of Human Mechanism
If you have got what it takes to be exceptional,
then there WILL be exceptions for you.

To Be Used

from joker.org
a woman without her man is nothing
A woman, without her man, is nothing.
A woman: without her, man is nothing.

He who hesitates is probably right.
It takes a thief to catch a thief.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.
"If ignorance is bliss, where are all the blissful people?"

From joker.org -- Thoughts to Ponder (Joke on May 13, 1999)
Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really
quite busy.

(Joke on July 12)
Philosophy: When you get unintelligible answers to insoluble problems.

Leonardo da Vinci
It often happens that the wave flees the place of its creation while the water
does not; like the waves made in a field of grain by the wind, where we see the
waves running across the field while the grain remains in place.

Joker.org
Ask a question and you're a fool for three minutes; do not ask a question and
you're a fool for the rest of your life.

Friend's Forwarded
"Men are like fine wine.  They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to
stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something we'd
like to have dinner with".

Joker.org
Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.
-- Swedish proverb --

In any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the
next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing. 
- Theodore Roosevelt

From "Shoeless Joe" by W. P. Kinsella

Success is getting what you want, but happiness is wanting what you get.

from "Welcome to Barbados" (a website by Shannon)
It is better to suffer wrong than to do it.
- Samuel Johnson

From "The Picture of Dorian Gray", Lord Henry
"Pleasure is Nature's test, her sign of approval.  When we are happy we are
always good, but when we are good we are not always happy. . .To be good is to
be in harmony with one's self.  Discord is to be forced to be in harmony with
others."

"Women inspire us with the desire to do masterpieces, and always prevent us
from carrying them out."

02.09
《抿还手记·滤沙》是正宗的，名副其实，由纸、笔、墨水、浆糊组成的手
写版。《抿还手记·落烟》则是说穿了空无一物的网版。现在就在“银沙”
的某个服务器上，这种东西叫死无对证。=D
《抿还手记·落烟》 （作者＝aurelria）

01.02
Oh crap!  Why did I decide to order the entries in INCREASING time line instead
of the other way which was what I SHOULD have used?!?!  Well screw that, I am
not gonna re-order all that down below any time soon because I'm satisfied
enough with this chaotic ordering.  Ahem ahem obviously I'm not in the most
loving mental state right now, but this is what this is for, no, yes, no, yes,
whatever!  Schmuck, I say!  NOTE TO ALL YE PPL WHO HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S ON THIS
PAGE: basically, the idea is, ANYTHING I feel like putting on is going to be
here, and ANYTHING I ain't feeling well enough to show is NOT going to be
here.  You're not happy with this rule?  Well, schmuck, I say!  There's going
to be both English and Chinese and Mixed entries here.  Or even French, if I
decide to one day.

No, I don't have a written journal.  I did once have one, but then I destroyed
it, yes, PER-MA-NENT-LY.  I don't have the patience to keep a written journal,
but I do want to ramble from time to time, so, I figured, this is the perfect
alternative.  This way the stuff I write isn't exactly what I'd call
existential, but then it does exist in some obscure form of way.  Coo!

Surprisingly, for someone so self-adoring with a mega case of minor superiority
complex, my grasp of things falters from time to time.  I get my share of the
self-doubts and self-uncertainties and I freak for a very short moment.  So
basically I overwhelm myself with ideas, and run into an entire cycle of
insecurity, during which I babble un-cool convictions and ask ridiculous
questions and become emotionally vulnerable.  The good thing is, it's only for
a very short moment, I mean, I am, after all, a relatively deep philosophical
thinker, and there's almost nothing my thoughts cannot eventually conquer other
than mortality itself.  When the short moment is over, I regain my grasp on
things again.

As most of my friends know, I am extremely confident about what I want and how
I _think_ I want my life to be; however, I've caught myself a few times already
temporarily losing that steady, bright light and wavering, all confused and not
exactly knowing what--not just what was wrong, but WHAT.  Like HUH?  WHUH?--but
feeling bad.  As soon as I got out of the immediate confusion shock bomb, I
remembered how it all was and told myself this ...

"Promise me girl, you'll never EVER lose sight of what you really want out of
life.  You know what you want, and you know how easy it is to be tempted and
molded into something else, so PLEASE, just remember all the major emotional
struggles you have come through to grow up to become who you are today, all the
lessons learned and things you've figured out and whole new worlds that have
been opened to you, and NEVER lose sight of what is really important to you,
NEVER give in to the wrong influences, NEVER."

"The life is yours.  You DO KNOW how you want it to be.  It's not like you
don't.  Don't ever lose sight of that.  Of course, everything comes with a
price, so be ready to make sacrifices along the way.  I know how much it would
hurt you if you have to let go of things, but always always ALWAYS keep in mind
what you want out of life, and consider the price, often times, it'll be better
to pay that price.  Find a lighter perspective.  YOU HAVE ENOUGH CONFIDENCE TO
DO THAT."

Jo thinks I don't take risks.  I haven't thought that through yet to reach
anything conclusive myself.  It sounds true, but there're many places where it
doesn't hold true.  I don't know.  It's not a very high prioritied item in my
mental stack right now.

Otherwise, I hope things work out.  I love him ... unbelievable ... and because
I find it unbelievably fast for the word of love, I doubt often whether I am
interpreting myself right.  But, then again, that's how I feel and that's how I
want to express it.  If my own quick, estimated analysis does not agree,
schmuck, I say! =D I guess I'm no longer a blind optimist any more; overall,
I'd say I'm still optimistic, just not blindly so, like I used to be.  Har har,
the good old times ... I think that was just a childish, immature phase, trying
to find a definition for myself, of who I was, and how I wanted to be like.  I
suppose we still go through that as we age even further, just a lot more secure
now that the definition takes shape and we are introduced to the whole concept
of "acceptance."  I don't think I was very good at that during my teenage
years, but now, hehe, not to brag, but, I think I have learned acceptance well.
=D  To Brendan and everyone else, I pay my respect and thanks.

Presumptious to say, but, between me and Jo and our combined brain
contributions and discussions, I think I've figured out what love is.  Why is
that question still plaguing novels?!?!  Hehe, you know what?  I am no longer a
romantic freak on what love is and how it should happen and all that flowery
stuff.  Don't get me wrong, I still have a significantly sentimental side, it's
just that there are certain things where I enjoy being sentimental about and
then there are things I deem sentimentality unfit.  Hard to believe I once
believed in soul mate, and the perfect guy ... oh man, I GOTTA get Jo to
forward that 16K email discussion about the perfect guy and love back to me so
I can edit it and proudly show off what I've come to conclude these days about
love.  It's good stuff.  I really think so.

Enough for today.  I go now.

11.22

既然近期将不会有很多事要忙，于是就暂时决定开写一批读书笔记，
一来有空练练笔头，二来无所事事也要争取对旁人无所事事得无意义
而对自己无所事事得有劲一些，时不时的还可以所谓的捕捉捕捉灵感，
muse muse,  对不对？ ;D

Hee hee, I just switched to dimunitive dates; fits the title,
methinks. =D

打算在此地想写中文就写中文，想写英文就写英文，彻底的随心所欲，
自由自在地不得了。只求莫要由此造成天下大乱，否则我怎么忍心。
;P

左天又似很伟大很英明地悟出一个真理：其实人生虽浩瀚，以至于人
生道理这门题目一眼瞧去似是广泛地无边无涯，变幻多地眼花缭乱，
又多又杂，不记其数，但你若细心想想，半条理化、半推论化、半总
结化、再半intuitively 地去感悟一下，你可能会彻底大悟般地发现
这些好象数不尽列不清的人生道理实际上是万变不离其掌的，不过也
要看你那“掌”有多大。 (当然，也大有可能只是我在神经搭错，就
像上回乱崇拜西门吹雪那般。 =D)

原本以为人生道理就像各门学科所包含的知识一样，是学到老也学不
完的。但当我左天有事没事地去认真细心地想了一会儿后，却试探性
地总结出来本人最新的奇谈异论，那就是几乎所有的人生道理，若不
是已经在过去被我吸收过，经历过，讨论过，感悟过，也能在今后需
要的时候被我自己从这些过去吸收过，经历过，讨论过，感悟过的一
切之中发掘演变得出来。换句话说，人生道理难道是学得完的？当然，
一旦总结到这“万变不离其掌”处就觉得有点明显地荒唐。想想从古
到今好象还没有任何哲学家，思想家，或是理论家发表过这种听上去
狂傲冲天、不知天高地厚的议论。你一个朱逸帆毕竟不可能有这般能
耐，这般伟大吧？

我所说的人生道理倒底是哪一类的理论呢？这我现在很难一下说得清
楚。但比如说，当你受到挫折的时候，你的家人或是朋友们都会以适
当的词句言语来安慰鼓励你。然后当他们受到挫折的时候，你也会同
样地来安慰鼓励他们。这就说明这些基本的安慰鼓励的道理你不光是
放在口上说说的，自己可能都懂，而你若真正懂得这些道理的话，当
时经受挫折的时候你应该说是有能力自己安慰鼓励得了自己的，有能
力自己疗养得好自己精神上的挫折的。又比如说，当你有什么重大事
情想不通的时候去和某心腹密友或是某心理学家一谈解愁以后，你若
能静心想想，人家心腹密友也是人，人家心理学家也是人，你也是人，
而只要是人论得出的人生道理方面的理论你也最终是论得出的。这岂
不又说明你若真正懂得人家刚告诉你的那些道理的话，你该有能力做
个经常能够理智地“劝劝”自己，调整自己的心腹密友或是心理学家
吗？

总之好象这世间所有的人生道理并不是想象中那样多得数不清，而是
隐隐地有着一批基础性的道理，然后几乎所有其他的大大小小的道理
都可以说是建在这层基础性道理上的，是这些基础性道理的合成品。
或是说，你见到了一桩就如见到了一千桩那样。或是说，在碰到的大
部份道理之中，你若能多分析分析，把道理拆散，拆小，把各种各样
的包装纸拉掉，你若能多推敲推敲潜在的处事的动机、原因、目的，
多问问自己"Yes I KNOW what it is, but what is it *really*,
*fundamentally* ABOUT?  Or WHY?!" ，你可能会突然隐隐地觉得好
象这世上的大部份事情，当把所有的包装纸，包装盒一一剥尽之后，
其实根本逃不出手头的几个基本的模子。这些基本的模子就是先前提
到的那批基础性道理的一种化身。总而来说，这批基础性道理与所有
的人生道理之间的对应关系就好比那化学原素与世界上几乎所有的物
体之间的关系，也好比那26个英文字母与所有的英语单词、词组、以
及语句之间的关系--总之有着一股很浓的排列组合的味道。也就是说
这些基本道理就是整个人生道理系统中的(可能是最小的)单元，是所
谓的building blocks，好比细胞是所有生物的building blocks那般。
不过细胞虽是个通用的单元，但并不是最小的单元。

总的来说这个结论我现在还很难彻底地表达清楚。困难之一在于哪些
能被列为基础道理我还没有一个很清晰的总体概念。但有人若想去试
试看找出些基本道理来，我倒有个办法，只是不知有没有效。此人可
以试着用类似穷举法的原则把各种各样大大小小的道理一条一条地解
剖一下。还有一点，此人必须是个理论清楚，逻辑思维强，善于总结
规律，自身经历过许多考验，又比较了解生活中的人心的人，或是说
比较通悉人类应用心理学的人。此人当然还必得有很多的空余时间。

这又让我联想到我那许多网页上有一处提到的一段算是人生哲理吧。

~*~*~

阿飞想了很久，忽然笑了笑，道：“我只不过忽然想通了。”

“忽然想通了”，这五个字说来简单，要做到可真不容易。

我佛如来在菩提树下得道，就因为他忽然想通了。

达摩祖师面壁十八年，才总算“忽然想通了”。

无论什么事，你只要能“忽然想通了”，你就不会有烦恼，但达到这
地步之前，你一定已不知道有过多少烦恼。

--摘自<<多情剑客无情剑>>

~*~*~

我想，若就我上面那段奇谈异论而言，一个活生生的人可能能够达得
到这个懂得几乎所有的人生道理的思想境界。也就是说，可能有人能
够在第数不清次“忽然想通了”的时候“想通”他这一生中最后一个
“想不通”的问题。

Hmm, interesting ... =D

两三天前刚刚读完<<呼啸山庄>>，并不认为有什么特别出色的地方。
觉得里面的人生道理好象浇得不够深，读完后也没能发掘到新奇的东
西好拿来比较长久性地品味，或是说muse muse。 =D  关于pride 和
bloody twisted vengeance以及Heathcliff其人物以后有兴致再说。
此人后来根本就是心理变态，理智尽失，怪不得在被描写的时候经常
遭兽化，以至于起先脑中被激起的对他的genuine sympathy看到最后
都看僵看涩了。

故事完了后，嘴里留下的立时倒不太明显是什么味道，只可惜味道一
点也不深刻。一本小说若是能无情地留下一股明明是非常intense 的
味道但又让读者苦于不确倒底是什么滋味，以至于读者心中脑中痒兮
兮的但又不知痒在哪里，应该说是较出色的那种。于是想到一个小说
的作家若在书中或是书末能在突然地一扬手后让读者觉得彻底地哭笑
不得的话，那故事也该是较出色的那种。

又记：我本没打算要把这杂记弄上网的，后来想到我的中文软件有病，
天天要掉码，所以把整个文件长久期地存放在硬盘上并不是个好主意。
最后还是粗粗复查了一下内容，被本姑娘批准上网。 =D

11.22 later

还看了卧龙生的一本武侠小说，<<天涯侠侣>>，名字刚刚差点忘掉，
也不过是两三天前才看得大功告成的。书中记得最最牢的一处是当林
寒青翻开那本<<不可言传篇>>时在第一页上看到的“第三十七计：自
欺欺人”。当卧龙生蛮正经蛮条条是道地为读者粗粗一解释这“自欺
欺人”之“计”后，我当时的第一反应就是兴奋地乱敲桌子，口中大
叫我那特产的OH MY GAWD，因为他所说的那“自欺欺人计”根本就和
我大约在两年以前自己悟出来的原则一模一样。不过，他那“自欺欺
人”在故事情节中是用在双方心理斗智上的，而我那“自欺欺人”当
年则是用在怎样提高一个演员的演技上的。巧！

“欺人而不欺己者，恒难一手尽遮天下人耳目，终必败破，中乘也。
自欺而不欺人者，必论庸人自扰之苦，下愚也。自欺而后欺人，始登
上成境界，是所谓若愚。”妙！ =D

我想一生能够两者都不欺的人终究是没有的。要做到此生不欺人必要
据有一尘不染的人格。要做到此生不欺己则要据有无时不清的头脑。
难！

此外就剩下本人觉得故事的尾巴不够充实了。这部小说很有虎头虎腰
但蚁尾的味道，看完了最后一个字后比较失望。

对了，这杂记我暂且打算以上篇中文下篇英文的方式来写，为的是能
起到锻炼提高大脑的linguistic switching speed的作用，即从主用
一种语言思考的精神状态能瞬间转到主用另一种语言思考的精神状态
的大脑速度。应该说，这switching speed越快，你bilingual的能耐
就越高。于是当然联想到那晶体管的switching speed 云云。看来问
题还是出在知识越多越反常上。 =D

11.29

今天本来想大谈superiority 一事，结果后来兴致有点特别，所以决
定真心小谈一下秋雨刚不过几个月前在网上初识的一位我觉得比较别
致的人物--白衣飘飘。既然这次以下的想法将是关于实人的，此地先
认真地声明一下，不管是欣赏赞扬一类的想法还是不屑一顾性质的想
法，我的想法毕竟只代表我个人的某些想法而已，所以这里绝对没有
想要评判其人的意思。其次，我也并不是个不讲道理的“头鬼”，因
此自己将写在这儿的高谈阔论也不会没有分寸。希望没有任何误解。

第一次路过白衣飘飘的网站也纯属碰巧。当时我在网上一连几天在发
高烧般地通过各地的search engine 来搜索网上可能有的一些老同学
的信息，然而有时会发现一些比较值得bookmark的网站，于是就会匆
匆看一眼，然后把网址留下来，以便今后有时间的话再去仔细阅览。

“君子阳阳，白衣飘飘”这个网站也就是这样被我bookmark下来的。
还记得我最初“匆匆”看到的又碰巧是“情是何物”下面的几篇文章，
看完后马上被网主的情深意重所感动，觉得他不但把自己对白语澜的
一片深情已展现得淋漓尽致，而且写得很真实，一点也没有假装优雅
或是忸怩做作的味道。又碰巧那时的我在精神上正处于失恋的尾声阶
段。在读了别人的深刻体会后，虽然自己的失意远没有人家的那样严
重，但是在好几处多少会有点同感。不过最有意思的一段还要算是这
一段了：“男人大丈夫，要像乔锋一样，头也不回地走；不要像杨过，
等16年再跳崖；更不要像段誉死缠烂打。”还是碰巧，那段时间里我
正在专心致志地攻读<<天龙八部>>，再加上当时的一两个月之前我又
刚看完<<神雕侠侣>>，是以对这些主人公的一举一动一顾一盼都还很
熟悉，所以觉得这段特别地好笑。就这样，感动，加上共鸣，加上笑
声，让我当天认定此网站以后有空的话该是大有看头的，把网址留了
下来。

后来网上找老同学的事情告了一个段落后，就一直在继续忙着读书，
记下来的一些网站也没有再多看一眼。一直到学期结束以后的某天，
又是碰巧，一个朋友刚刚和女友分手，于是我便想到了白衣飘飘的那
个网站上的几篇文章。因为觉得那些文章很适合用来安慰全世界在受
失恋之苦的大众，所以我就把“情是何物”的网址也一并给了那个朋
友，说一定要去看一看。

说到这里的时候已觉眼皮眨动得远没有清醒的时候那样灵活了，所以
就暂且来个未完待续吧。

11.30

那天若未曾一下子想到白衣飘飘的网站也就罢了，但一念之差后却给
碰巧想到了。把网址寄出了后，人还在网上，又正好没事闲着，于是
我就重游了一番“故地”，想看看那网站上还有什么好东西。怎么也
没料到这现在想来几乎算是随机的一看，看地我大受震动，当场对笔
后的作者这个人刮目相看。真正折服我的倒并不是白衣飘飘的文笔，
而是从这些文章里所蕴含的各种各样的思想和观念中所映浮出来的白
衣飘飘其人。

如同许多人在站上的留言簿里所提到的，白衣飘飘在很多人生科目上
是个倾向于理想派的人物，尤其是在感情这一题上。但我觉得在走他
为自己铺下的那条充满美好憧憬的人生之路的同时，这位飘飘小子又
并不缺乏现实。这种在现实生活的重重烟雾中还能为自己完全地保留
下一片理想派的蓝天的人好像并不多。

理想派的人能算傻么？可能吧。拿爱情来说，有许多人明知现实生活
中的爱情远远没有笔墨下或是荧屏上所描述的那样动天地泣鬼神，那
样不顾一切，可是他们还是会在一路奔波的时候留心追寻着那份理想
中的完美。如果这种人不“傻”，那世界上就再没有人能算得上“傻”
了。但重要的是他们的追寻并不是盲目的，或是孤注一掷的；重要的
是他们在出发去追寻之前早已知道自己很有可能找不到那份完美。我
想，一个人，再理想，只要在平时的生活中能保持一定的头脑清楚，
在不可脱离实际的时候的确能脚踏实地，那最后应该都能活得好好的，
美美的，甜甜的。当然，一切还是说得容易，做得难。 =D

然而我为什么要说读者可以从白衣飘飘的文章里发现其较真实的一些
“英雄本色”呢？总的来说，白衣飘飘的文章比较倾向于个人化，也
就是说作者写作的目的并非是在于为了要在出版后保持一定的作品销
路。个人化的作品往往都比较真诚，比较热心地流露着作者本人对待
人生，对待世界，以及对待其他各种问题的态度和看法，因为这些词
词句句并不是为了要吸引某个大众化的读者典型而创作出来的，而是
为了要表达出作者自己灵魂中奔流着的一种生命的热情。

我想当日我就是被这股理想派的热情所彻底感动的。没想到名副其实
的“性情中人”的确还没有“傻”到消声蹑迹的地步。

未完待续

12.02

更没想到这位名副其实的“性情中人”竟还有着一段比较出类拔萃的
辉煌历史，以至于白衣飘飘后来因此某天在网上瞎聊的时候被我喊成
“积极分子”。想想这也该算是最后我冒昧地去认定“此人不可不识，
此友不可不交”的重重因素之一。而关于网主的真实程度一事，我想，
知道上海交大的人可能会在点点滴滴的累积判断下估计到白衣飘飘的
真实性还是有点儿可靠的。网上的安全当然是件很大的事，不过在这
里我暂且也不多费口舌来念经传教了。还不如暂且回到这位“性情中
人”的笔墨。

除了前面提到的“感动，加上共鸣，加上笑声”以外，另一个使我最
后一并大受震动的因素却是自白衣飘飘的一些随笔、清谈里迎面“飘”
出来的一股熟悉的故乡气。侬晓得伐？我是在上海长大的。十三四岁
的时候出了国，但想来那已是足够的年纪来把上海的人土风情在心中
留得牢牢的，当然还有那所谓的在到处的书籍中早已被典型化的上海
人专有的“优越感”啦。 =P 平时一般在国外撞见上海人、听见上海
话的时候会觉得比较兴奋，所以想来白衣飘飘的一些词句一定也是撞
在了我的那根“上海弦”上了。

但通过网络去结识陌生人对我来说毕竟不是惯来来的事情，所以当时
在对网主大翘了几次拇指后一时并没有想到要与“此人不可不识”、
要与“此友不可不交”的这个细节。当时震动地不得了了就最多到站
上的留言簿里也去涂了几个字，“很美。我很佩服。”字用得很少是
因为觉得我对在这网站上所有看到的东西隐隐有着那种 more than
words 的感受，好像说多了就会把我要转达的意思说烂，说偏掉。

然后我又一次撞见了巧妙之事。

话说我在当时的两三个月前左右，主要是在看金庸看琼瑶的影响下，
涂写出了我历史上的第一首中文小诗。小诗么以后就一直在星星零零
地继续着。后来在看到古龙的时候被西门吹雪这个人物深深地吸引住
了，又从中联想到一些人生之事，为此人间就多了几首秋雨“戏笔”
下来的小诗。<<追寻>>就是其中的一首。

追寻

雪马霜剑白衣人，
雾影姗姗十九春。
望君回头一相等，
若闻天涯追步声。

这首小诗是我在看了<<陆小凤传奇>>系列后出自对故事中的西门吹雪
的崇拜和羡慕而写的。当时大脑应该算是正常的，还没有被白衣飘飘
的一些文章脑震荡到，所以神经其实并没有怎样搭错。 =D 记得有一
次在乘公交车的时候还muse到，在当代的世界上没有像西门吹雪那样
一身古装地“白衣如雪”，潇洒若仙的人如何实乃一件大煞风景之事；
然后又muse到在我身边周围如何好像竟然也未曾见过有人愿意平时一
身穿得白茫茫的来上班或是上课，特别是那些绅士们。 =D

说到这里望上面放眼一看，怎么话越说越多了。本来打算的是“小”
谈，现在算什么？未完待续“完”得了一时，但看来暂且还完不了余
下的。

12.07

子曰：“己所不欲，勿施于人”

~*~*~

袁士霄少年时钻研武学，颇有成就，后来遇到一件大失意事，性情激
变，发愿做前人所未做之事，打前人所未打之拳，于是遍访海内名家，
或学师，或偷拳，或挑斗踢场而观其招，或明抢暗夺而取其谱，将各
家拳术几乎学了个全，中年后隐居天池，融通百家，别走蹊径，创出
了这路“百花错拳”。这拳法不但无所不包，其妙处尤在于一个“错”
字，每一招均和各派祖传正宗手法相似而实非，一出手对方以为定是
某招，举手迎敌之际，才知打来的方位手法完全不同，其精微要旨在
于“似是而非，出其不意”八字。旁人只道拳脚全打错了，岂知正因
为全部打错，对方才防不胜防。须知既是武学高手，见闻必博，所学
必精，于诸派武技胸中早有定见，不免“百花”易敌，“错”字难当。

--摘自<<书剑恩仇录>>

12.11

拖拖拉拉写了这许多，回头一看，好象这里所有发表的意见都比较正
面化，连我自己也可能不久就要看腻了。但也不知道换成什么样子会
好一点。算了吧，暂且继续。

自从见识了西门吹雪几百页的“白衣如雪”后，心想虽然此番武功必
然跟他不上，但若能偶而穿得一套彻底女性化的“如雪”的“白衣”，
然后能站在某个岩石七高八低、零零乱乱的崖壁下的海湾中的一块大
石头上来个迎(海)风而立，飘然若仙，那种境界该能有多美！只可惜
本人乃归凡夫俗子一类，既没得师傅来教我轻功去飞到这样的大石头
上，又没得大众消费者与我同来支持这路服装设计。这件事只能暂且
搁下。我对出门一身白色衣装的爱好便是从那时开始的。但由于白衣
沾灰沾尘地特别明显，所以跟屁虫倒也不是做得特别起劲，不经常穿。

后来碰上了白衣飘飘那网站，得悉白衣飘飘其人的存在，刚开始也没
有一时想到去特别注意那名字。后来某天突然轻击天灵盖，大悟。看
那“白衣飘飘”这名字既是如何的“白衣”又是如何地“飘飘”。这
岂不是件可喜可乐之事？

想认得白衣飘飘此人的欲望也就由此钻入了脑中。越想越觉得既然人
家还根本不晓得我这个人的存在，那么此次革命的重担就是统统落在
我肩上了。管他什么网络不网络，先革命了再说。 =D 于是历史上就
有了我通过ICQ 与白衣飘飘“搭”得第一次“讪”，“打”得第一次
“哈哈”，后来事情弄得自己越发不可收拾，这不叫“自讨苦吃”叫
什么？ =D 现在想来当时也真是有点莫明其妙，也有点侥幸，又一次
体会到那出于自身往日深刻体会的“今日一毫里，即明日十里，即后
日十万八千里之差”这个道理。

后注：姓朱的笨蛋，什么“今日一毫里”云云，还在那里很自得其乐
地为从自己的生活经历中总结出此理而欢喜。后来某日看到了“差之
毫厘，失之千里”。一回想倒也不是不晓得这句话，但那倒底还能不
能算是我自己总结归纳出来的道理现在就有问题了。 =D

未完待续

12.12

人之所滞，滞在未有。若托心本无，异想便息。

--摘自<<书剑恩仇录>>

=D I know, I know.  Easy to say, hard to do, but not impossible,
and with a price that I may not be willing to pay.  Am I willing
to pay?

~*~*~

Okay ladies and gentlemen, today we shall discuss the general
topic of superiority.  Now what do I have to bullshit about
superiority, you ask sweetly?

An excess of tolerable superiority in a person is just another
attitude problem.  Many people with such an attitude problem are
often not aware themselves of their superior tendencies.  Among
the rest of the lot who ARE actually aware of their own shining
superiority complex, I would imagine that some do not like it but
find themselves hard to change, some take pride in it and thus do
not wish to change, some simply do not care, and then   there are
always some left.  Call them crazy lunatics, incorrigible fools,
irrational airheads, whatEVER we will,   OR,   with a gentle,
generous draught of political correctness added into our thought
processes, when we wish, we can always call them "exceptions."
Here and today, I wish to tentatively dissect possibly ONE among
a many instances of such irregular behaviour we call
"exceptions."

Like the flu, every normal person gets infected with superiority
sometimes, probably because superiority is among one of the many
defense mechanisms of the human mind, or psychology, as we
occasionally prefer to term.  When triggered and invoked and then
used healthily, these defense mechanisms REact in the similar
operating principle as the human biological immune system is to
the physical body.  In other words, these defense mechanisms kick
in to try to shield the fragile soul** from any perceivable
invading threats or harm, and thus, we steadily watch as
superiority lashes out from people previously free of this
attitude problem.

Take, for example, threats of self worth debasement as our
clinical case.  Low self esteem makes the human psyche
dangerously vulnerable to depressions, breakdowns, or even
insanity; therefore, things that provoke or aggravate low self
esteem become the "perceivable invading threats or harm," as
mentioned before.  These, in turn, proceed to elicit patriotic,
semi-automatic responses from the neuro-electrical
bio-encyclopaedia of all the psychological defense mechanisms we
ever know.  Then, applying the principles of Lenz's Law to our
clinical case, the panicking psyche 3/4-subconsciously selects
the appropriate defense mechanism against a threat of
psychological inferiority to be one of the speediest means to
self worth elevation, and hence, superiority.

The wonder about both the immune system and the psychological
defense system is that, WHEN UNDER NORMAL OPERATING RANGES, the
systems are safely and automatically regulated.  All their
responses are thoroughly reactive to the incoming threats, so
when a threat is detected, the systems activate, and when the
threat disappears, the systems deactivate.  As a result, and
going back to our clinical case, if, hypothetically, the threat
on self worth never diminishes over an extended period of time,
then superiority, or the acting defense mechanism, is never
relieved of its duty.  As delta t expands into months, years,
decades, or even centuries, the psychological defense system
becomes overworked AND, to unknowing bystanders and unthinking
litigants, what started out to be a healthy defense mechanism now
either seems like, or even becomes, an attitude problem.

There is a Chinese proverb that says, "解铃还需系铃人," or the
secret to unknotting lies in the knotter's hands.  Following the
thought, is not the key to removing such a CONSCIOUS, REACTIVE
instance of superiority as an attitude problem, then, either to
remove the source threat, or to neutralize it to a tolerable
level of virulence?  Further, if the complaints of any case of
reactive superiority should originate from the same container as
the source threats, then, reasonably, would the onus not be on
the complainer to remove the cause of his own complaint?

** In one of Zhu's earlier vocal deliberations, she insisted that
under most everyday common sense contexts, the terms "psyche",
"soul", "heart", "mind", and "human psychology" really point to
similar entities.

A discussion about "defensiveness" will follow in due time. =D

12.15

有一日与妈妈在信中聊到白衣飘飘。妈妈笑问起：“若他是个'cream
boy'，你打算怎样？”

“小时候，妈妈对我讲”，世界上有着各种各样的人，而其中一种被
称之为“奶油小生”。在我面前最先被谈论成“奶油小生”的是电影
Titanic 的男主角，Leonardo DiCaprio 。起先我还以为所谓的“奶
油小生”就是天天把头发弄得又“客拉”，又满头油光光的男士们。

于是，在"cream boy" 这个妙译上大笑了一番后，我回道：“不像不
像。但 cream boys 又有什么不好的？”

事后问起了，方被告知“奶油小生”其实指的是一些一般都比较风度
翩翩、为人比较“花”头“花”脑的家伙。这倒让我开始坐下反省了。
白衣飘飘算不算得上是个 cream boy ？ =P

我曾经在和白衣飘飘在网上闲聊的时候半认真半嘻笑地说到过他有时
给人感觉有点轻浮这事，一半是因为刚聊起的时候他左一呼“美眉”
右一呼“美眉”，而我每见到一个“美眉”就要皱眉，只因觉得管女
孩子叫“美眉”好像有点态度“轻飘飘”的，就好比男孩子在街上见
了马路对面路过的美丽女郎而大打口哨那态度，所以当时开玩笑地责
他对女性不尊重。 =) 另一半则是因为在平常聊的时候觉得他该是属
于那种比较灵活，比较嬉皮笑脸的家伙。 =)

我想精灵活络的人大多都有那么点轻浮吧，或是说就因为有了这性格
上的一丝轻浮，一个人才有了他精灵活络所需要的空间。而稳重的人
则是属于另一种不同典型的。很少有这两种特征能在一人中都有比较
dominating的份量的个性。想想看，你一生见过几个很稳重，很严肃
认真、目不斜视的鬼精灵？你一生哪一次被逗得大笑的时候是很仪态
端庄、一丝不苟的？

未完待续

12.16

回顾初中语文

前几天在看一本初二语文的<<教学参考书>>的时候，读到以下一段评
论：

“小说的阅读，应当从情节和人物入手。<<一件小事>>虽然在鲁迅小
说中是比较容易理解的，但对初二学生来说，确实把作品情节、人物
的特点搞清楚，也并不是不需要花费力气的。这篇小说中有些句子含
义很深，较难理解；‘我’的思想感情的变化，也不易理解得深切，
对于本文中心思想重大意义的理解，学生更需要一个逐渐深化的过程。”

回想起几年前上语文课的时候，曾常常为要去“发现”进而“理解”
什么文字“潜在”的含义啦、什么“中心思想”啦发愁。碰到有灵感
的时候，至少还能在作业本上、测验卷上朝约莫正确的政治方向一本
正经地涂上几句又空洞又转弯抹角的虚套子。一旦当天缺乏写作的激
情，那么就只得坐在那里观光，或是看同学，或是看窗外。脑子里么
一片空白，心里么则在很不情愿地嘀咕着，这些东西，就算给我正确
地找到了，又能有何大用？

几年后的我现在又游回到了这些课文中，读了一篇后顿觉有趣。当然，
不是课文有趣，而是在突然发觉自己以前对课文分析的一窍不通不知
已从何日何时起统统消失了而觉得有趣。这几年里这些课本沾都没沾
过，难道看武打书还能培养出一些课文分析的能力不成？！

于是，五更时分，朱姑娘的长篇奇谈异论又起。 =D

一直听先人教导说：“听人说话不但要听人家在说什么，还要时时去
试着理解人家为什么在说那些话。”(Don't just listen to WHAT
others are saying, listen to WHY they are saying it.) 人活着，
除非是在发疯发呆，每时每刻都有事情要完成，都有东西要得手，或
换句话说，都有“目的”要达到。比如，吃饭就是个目的；休息睡觉
也是个目的。可以说，人的日常行动的出发点是各种各样的需要，有
自己的，也有他人的。或是说，人几乎所有的一举一动都是purpose-
driven的，只不过有些是下意识的杰作，而有些则是潜意识的杰作。

语言表达，即“说话”，是人类进化了几万年来用来达到这许多目的
的几种最最普遍、最最基本的途径之一。而此刻回想到课文中的那些
“深刻的潜在意义”和那些“文章的中心思想教导我们云云”岂不就
是作者“说”了几百个字背后的种种“目的”么？那么那些课文分析
的练习，除了写作技巧上的分析这部份外，剩下的岂不都意在要你我
中学生们去练习怎样理解作者说这些话的“目的”？再随即细想一下，
那些写作技巧岂不就成了作者要达到“目的”而所采用的“手段”么？
常用的写作技巧岂不就是历代作家通过科学、通过经验、通过设想而
总结出来的在读者的心理上会比较“有效”的一些公认的“手段”么？

有多少初二的孩子们在鉴别人心、洞悉他人行事的潜在目的这门科目
上是很博学老练的？

现下打算搁笔写不动了。剩下的下次有空再完成吧。

12.20

FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY!!!!!
(... mostly due to the fraction of space the file takes ...)

Here is a sample recording of my singing.  Due to limited
resources this recording was done microphone to speakers, so
please have patience and bear with me till I manage to produce
better versions. =D

Looking Through Your Eyes
(from Quest For Camelot, originally sung by LeAnn Rimes)

01.10

HAH!  Do not begrudge me for all those days that I have not
written anything.  I made myself a (yet unofficial) banner for
this whole site ... yesterday.  Well, looking at it, there IS a
number agreement grammar mistake on it, but it would be a pain to
change it now.  Other than that, the JPG format renders it REALLY
ugly, the GIF is better in visual quality but too large for
GeoCities' banner exchange program, which was the whole bloody
reason I made this banner.  So I guess this Banner 1.0 is pretty
much "for your Tuesday afternoon viewing pleasure" (Wesley Reid,
my former ECE261 lab instructor ;D) till I am not lazy enough to
create another one.



Plus an additional small interesting anecdote.  Last night I
dreamt about an accidentally lost _REALLY important_ file that
somehow got into my hands and that contained information a lot of
organizations, including the FBI, wanted exclusively.  Hence
unfolds a story of gripping dramatic action, and not without a 
touch of charisma, excitement, intrigue, betrayal, and a little
romance.  Ahem, I think it looks like motion picture material,
but am too lazy to put it all down right now. =D

Love vs. ... Heaveside Function?!?!  Please stay tuned for the
next posting of one of my Chinese dabbles. =D

01.23

拜年拜年！上网一看，这么久没贴些上等废话了。手又痒了。于是动
笔写歌。歌写出来了就又一次碰到录音这个问题；头马上大起来。现
在刚进入私人的“录音”阶段，只做好ＴＲＡＣＫ　１，没有“人声”，
只有数字音乐。而这些数字音乐又水准不高，做的时候只求弹琴无错
就拜谢玉皇大帝了。所以这里先说好了，听了不喜欢便是欣赏者自己
的责任。;D

TRACK 1: 雨中泪

雨中泪

词：秋雨
曲：秋雨

静静地站在雨中，
抛开所有的思念，
暂时可以忘记心中的人有多远。
聆听那雨滴雨点
轻轻打在伞尖，
是谁向苍天许下的心愿：

“雨中泪，满天飞，
我欲乘风走一回，
就算天海一片苍茫也无所谓？”
雨中泪，伞下垂，
风寒双肩花相陪。
望着天海一片苍茫，
伞下你在等谁？

INSTRUMENTAL BREAK

静静地站在雨中，
回顾仓促的世间，
虽然心在天涯，奔波忙碌还在眼前。
任凭那雨滴雨点
轻轻拨动心弦，
是谁在路边留下的诺言：

“雨中泪，满天飞，
我欲乘风走一回，
就算天海一片苍茫也无所谓？”
雨中泪，伞下垂，
风寒双肩花相陪。
望着天海一片苍茫，
伞下你在等谁？

09.25A

好久没贴了。不过我也没有闲着。今年春天写了几篇零散小作，一直
没有机会贴上来。现下诺，补上啦！

大洋彼岸·之一

踏足异乡的时候，年记尚小，对友情是何物实没什么深刻体会，只道
是可以在手边随拿随舍，任其荣衰的。手边的友情从未缺过，因此也
未曾将那当成一回事，只认为拥有很自然，失去也很自然。拥有而来
的失去又经常会带来新的拥有，依旧是两个字，自然。

逐渐地，学习忙了，身边的新朋友多了，各种社交场合、活动、应酬
也后脚尖踏上前脚跟般地相应而至了。有点浑浑噩噩的我，也就很
“自然”地任汪洋大海把曾经熟悉的大洋彼岸越冲越远。

一晃七年，我摇身一变已是个忙碌之中的9N届大学生，书桌上一台沉
沉的手提电脑，每月花二十洋元订着无时限的上网连接，身边网际值
得珍惜爱护的友情依然不乏。只有偶尔在街上与故乡人擦肩而过之际
听到特别亲切的乡音的时候才会想起往日的同窗，只可惜此刻与他们
早已失去了联络。家中的像册里还躺着几年前班主任为我寄来留念的
全班毕业照。某个抽屉里还夹着昔日好友几年前写来的一封还没有机
会回复的信。而我呢，起先为了不擅写信而将回信之事一拖再拖，直
到后来听说故乡为了兴建高架公路而迁移了一大部份市民后，就从此
没了地址。

未完待续

09.25B

至拍清宫戏的剧组：偶也来凑把热闹，献丑了。献给大家。=D

万圣闹春之上半夜：

迎春茉莉，雪宇流帆，贤家醉笔，为云添瓣。
洒日杨柳，冰川泛鸥，万物终归尘矣。唯有山石庆岁，方千祝不朽。
眉飞神怡，文醇语雅，抚琴戏风，吾舍三佳。
灵贯漪澜，丽沐琳琅，万颜终随风矣。唯有明月峥嵘，方千尘不染。
倚竹恋月，皎玉卧空，云清草蔚，风绵星磊。
宁夜沁思，仙露点叶，绰影姗姗踏浮萍。
水晶心，红衣女，灵慧赛孔明。
夜来芳菲莫疑梦，风霜不折有心人。

若有遗漏，只怪贱妾孤陋寡闻，实不知情，还望诸位公子小姐海涵。

呵呵，暂时只胡乱搞了一半，都已搞得我不想继续写剩下的一半了。
许多地方由于水平不够便硬拼了些，所以还不是很通。粗茶淡饭一
碗，只好请大家将就着看了；我有空再会试着去改改看的。

09.25

半年来，经历又增添了许多，我想首先我也该为上面起了头的一个话
题作个结论。今年三月中 (呵呵，也就是莎先生所说的“the ides
of march”啦) 有幸与白衣飘飘见了面，一起玩了三四天。事后觉得
要做未来老公老婆的话两人不太合适，还是相互做朋友的更为妥当些。
过了几个月，事情也就不了了之了。借这里祝福白衣飘飘在今后的岁
月里能够一切顺利。

今年最最大的事当然要非九一一美国遭空袭事件莫属了。长了这么大
我还是第一次离大规模袭击如此地近。光想到仅仅两个月前的一个夜
晚我还在世贸中心的一座大楼顶端看西洋镜就感叹得不得了。加拿大
和美国不管是在政治上还是在地理上还是在社会文化上，都好像五岳
剑派那般的同气连枝，所以这次美国震惊，加拿大也没少震惊多少。

其实，政治管政治，此国的老百姓与彼国的老百姓还不都一样是无辜
的老百姓。现下受到打击的大部份是同样日日为俗务奔波的老百姓，
所有不喜美国政治倾向的老百姓们又何苦将气出在他们头上，做出兴
灾乐祸，甚至落井下石的举动呢？想来这个世界很像金庸笔下的江湖，
各个国家就好比江湖上的帮派。江湖上常有公认的正派邪派之分，正
邪如何分法先不说，往往，正派里难免有小人，邪派里也难免有君子
的；这个世界也是如此。再有，大部份从政的人也往往是“人在江湖，
身不由己”的，他们既入某派，就有维护本派利益的意识。除非哪天
所有的人从此不再分国分邦，个个以地球公民的身份生存着，政治冲
突总会有的。岳不群够不仁不义了，但是，在令狐冲的心里，他仍然
是恩师兼再生父亲；倘若恩师做了伤天害理之事，除了在极端情况下，
令狐冲会做的只是为恩师伤心，却不会出面为受害者伸张正义，惩奸
除恶。能怪他吗？所以，什么时候心中有地方空出，不妨对异派的正
人君子们多加一份体谅吧。

今年最最大的事已论完，就轮到今年最最高兴的事了。年初时终于不
负有心人地找到了儿时以及少时的同窗们。上海留给我的种种回忆是
无法替代的。若不是老娘我不是没银子就是没时间，再加上擅晕机，
我还能等到今天都不回老乡走一遭么？呵呵，哪天真的有机会回去玩
一圈了，说不定见到故友时会激动地拥天拥地来个集体大拥抱。唉，
亲爱的老兄老姐老弟老妹们啊，何时能再聚？姑娘我会在大洋彼岸常
常念着你们的。了海活堂里相要听老司额孩话，听到伐？=D

哦，对了，忘了哪天开始的，我多了个有足够资格当大阿哥的小阿弟。
“小”阿“弟”这个辈分么，当然是我强行指定的啦，呵呵，不过小
阿弟他器量大，风格高，于是乎，终于有人称我阿姐了耶，高兴都来
不及！小阿弟人很好，是个正人君子，也是个很值得永交的朋友。说
真的，我和小阿弟之间的友谊其实并不怎么特别的深刻，更非什么自
幼儿园时代的死党，我认得他也只不过四年左右，但记得自从大一后
总觉得他实在像一个大哥哥朋友，有股大哥哥……呃，不对，是“小”
阿“弟”朋友的亲切感，也不清楚为什么。总之，我为有这么个“无
系亲属”而感到高兴。

今年暑假看了不少武打连续剧的录像带，在那之前还多读了很多金庸
和席绢的小说。这次吸收的虽都是大众小说，但收获也确实不少。值
得一叙的小说人物标本中，居首的是段誉和席绢笔下的杜菲凡，因为
从他们两个人物中我得以新着落了许多为人处事方面的态度和观念。
我也已经决定有空写一篇漫谈大众小说之类的文章，到时会具体发表
一些感触，贴在这个网站上的某个空地上。

最后，我给自己取了个新名字，抿还，在性质上有点像笔名，但不是
笔名，觉得此举不可理解的朋友们就当这个新名字是旧时代的文人书
生名字中的字吧。朱抿还，不错，当然有意义，有道理，但也没什么
特别的意思。我也很喜欢抿还这个名字。