Heather, I don't know where to begin to tell you how much I love you. Perhaps by putting this on the web, it will start to convey just how much you mean to me, although it is impossible to let you completely know.
The funny thing is that I knew Heather's sister a full 4 months before I knew her - and when I did meet her, I didn't know they were related. It wasn't one of these things that her sister introduced me to her or anything. It was more a "well, my friend talks to her a lot so she can't be that bad of a person. Perhaps I should talk to her too."
"Do you want a piece of gum?"
"What?"
"Gum?" I held the pack to her.
"Sure, thanks." she said with a smile.
And that's how it all began. For me.
You see, unbeknownst to me, Heather had taken a liking to me before I even knew she existed. She had seen me a few times, as I am told, and remembered one striking thing about me: my red Carhart jacket. And at the time, it was REALLY red because it was fairly new. (It's faded now, but it still brings back the memories of our first beginnings.) Anywho, she was just shy. I mean, she must have been in order to not have actually met her until some six months after I first tutored her sister (that's how I met her sister.)
I didn't have any idea that she had any interest in me until one day, we were talking along...and BAM! there it was. I was overwhelmed with happiness just to know that someone really felt something for me. I had gone through a really rough break up a year before (actually, I just got dumped) and was having a very difficult time getting over it. It had been a year, I know, but for some reason, I just couldn't believe anyone would take the chance on loving me again. Thank God for you Heather. I love you.
An interesting aspect to our beginnings is that we really got to know each other over the internet. Although she was sitting next to me in real life, at the very next computer, we still used a chat line to first get to know each other. We learned all about each other, etc. We went to dinner between finals in the last week of school for our first "date," but our friend went with us so I don't know if it counts. But it was nice to have her company. Finals ended, we emailed each other a lot and made plans to meet at a club that was a neutral site for us (thank God she lived just half an hour away, it made it easier to find somewhere to meet without inconvenience!)
Things just went straight up from there on. That night at the club - I think it was one of the best nights of my life, if not THE best. I was nervous. She was nervous. I held her a lot that night, just loving the feel of having her close. And then, I kissed her. Twice. I didn't get much of a reaction. I thought to myself "SHIT! I rushed it! Now I'll never have a chance!" I couldn't have been more wrong. Again, unbeknownst to me, when she kept running into the bathroom with her friend Crystal, she was saying "I want to kiss him so much, but I don't know how!" I found this out some six months later into the relationship. We danced our first slow dance that night. The song? "Careless Whispers" by George Michael. I have a soft spot in my heart for that song now. I also do for "All My Life" by K-Ci and JoJo; we've kind of adopted that song as "our song."
And that's the story of us. Sure, we've had our problems, as all couples do. I have gone to school and have been away for 2 and 3 weeks at a time and we've still managed to keep things together. And, one time, by being completely stupid, I nearly threw it all away. I have never seen someone so hurt in my life. But, thank God, she loved me enough to forgive me. I have counted my blessings twice everyday instead of just once now. I love you.
Thank you Heather for loving me so much. I hope we never have to be apart.
Love Always,
Brian
OK, now I have some news to provide you with.
Heather and I have gotten engaged and have set a tentative wedding date of June 2, 2001. There's still a lot of speculation around this whole situation and we know we have time to work on it. The biggest kicker is now, though is that she is pregnant.
I don't really know what to think. Part of me is ecstatic about this. I am going to be a daddy. Someone who is loved as I love my father. And in a lot of respects, I can't wait. The other side of me brings a lot of reality in hand.
The same questions keep popping up. "How are you going to afford this? What's going to happen when the baby is born?" Honestly, to tell you the truth, I have no idea how we can afford this baby. We are just going to have to do the best that we can. When the baby is born, we are going to move together and take care of the baby together, as it should be, although my parents don't think that I should. I don't care what they say, I'm not giving my baby up. I just won't. It's not fair to me, Heather, or the baby. We are going to love it as much as I love them (though sometimes I question that.) This is our child and nothing's going to keep us from it.
But, for now, that's the update. She was four months on January 28th and we have been dating for 1 year, 8 months and 8 days now. I can't wait for the marriage...already.
Heather, I promise you, nothing will ever keep me from loving you or our child. Let's have faith in each other and be strong. We can do this. I know we can.
