BEST OF OPPOSITE SEX

BEST OF OPPOSITE SEX

Last night I dreamt all the gals in the nation

Were gathered together under one big tent;

And to judge them for beauty and for confirmation

I was selected for the main event.

And I sat there a-lookin' so calm and blasé,

Flickin' my cigarette ashes away,

Pretendin' this day is just any old day

When into the ring you come.

And you are Best of Opposite Sex hands down,
Best of Opposite Sex.
From the top of your head to your toe hands down,
You're the best in the show hands down,
Best of Opposite Sex.

I grit my teeth 'cause I knew that I had to
So's no one could see how I had lost my cool,
But I'm chewin' my pencil and the edge of my pad, too,
My poor heart a-beatin' like some crazy fool.
And the fella long side me, he gives me a nudge,
'Cause I'm a-wishin' so hard I can't budge
That I was your handler instead of the judge
As all round the ring you prance.

And you are Best of Opposite Sex hands down,
Best of Opposite Sex.
From the top of your head to your toe hands down,
You're the best in the show hands down,
Best of Opposite Sex.

My knees they shake as I hand you the trophy,
A ribbon, a laurel and a silver plate,
And I promise forever that my stud fee ain't no fee
Long as you promise to be my mate.
Then the moment that we are about to embrace,
Suddenly some other guy's in my place,
You gaze in his eyes and you yawn in my face
Just as you do in life.

Still you are Best of Opposite Sex hands down,
Best of Opposite Sex.
From the top of your head to your toe hands down,
You're the best in the show hands down,
Best of Opposite Sex.

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