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Gabriella paced in her personal lounge as she thought about what she would next say to Emma, who was there to conduct another session. It was now the second week of November and Gabriella was due to testify the next day while Troy and Paul were still at the courthouse as far as she knew, testifying or having testified earlier or waiting to testify. Gabriella didn't know the timeline well, but the prosecution team had just told her it would be better for her to not to be there as it would be a hard day of testimonials from both guys and that it would probably go easier if they both knew she wasn't in harm's way.
"I think I'll be okay tomorrow," said Gabriella, finally deciding that would be the most appropriate answer to Emma's question of how Gabriella felt about testifying tomorrow. "I just have to find my happy place right?"
Emma nodded her agreement but had a look on her face that told Gabriella it wasn't that easy. "Yes and no. Testifying up on that stand is going to be a lot harder than just sitting behind him Gabriella. There will be no guard standing between the two of you so it will be harder to block him out."
Gabriella let out a sigh. "I know and that is something that worries me. What if the defense team goes straight at me? What if I lose it on the stand?"
"Then it happens. Gabriella, no one expects you to be stoic up there on the stand and I am willing to bet that this defense team of his is going to hit you hard but you can't let them get the better of you. If you cry, you cry. Just remember though that you are safe and nothing will happen to you in that courtroom. You have your team, you have the court's security, he's not going to attack you the way he did those months ago," assured Emma. "Is that what you really are worried about?"
"Yes," admitted Gabriella. "The images are bad enough but knowing that I saw him again at the park when he was supposed to be behind bars, that just adds this possibility in my head that Riley could strike again and hurt me, violate me."
"But he didn't," Emma gently reminded Gabriella. "Riley was at the park with you and had you within his grasp but he didn't violate you, right?"
"He would have though if… Troy hadn't been there," returned Gabriella. "God, what if Troy hadn't been there?"
"Okay Gabriella, stop and take a deep breath for me. Please, focus on me," instructed Emma as she started seeing signs that Gabriella's imagination was taking off straight over the cliff with Gabriella on board.
Gabriella sat down on the love seat nearby and looked back at Emma, actively trying to push aside the images of Riley jumping over the desk he had been sitting behind for the whole trial and running at Gabriella, pinning her to the wall as he ripped into her again. She closed her eyes against it and finally managed to push it away, focusing instead on the memory of how she felt just a few days ago when she and Troy had fallen asleep watching television and she woke up smiling as she found Troy's arms securely around her waist. 'God, you still can't do this on your own, can you?'
Emma watched as Gabriella began to calm down, as the features of her face softened and the worry left her, leaving Gabriella in a better state than when she first came into the session after arriving home from school thirty-five minutes ago. "Good Gabriella, good control."
Gabriella opened her brown eyes and stared sadly at her therapist. "I wish it was the right control though."
After some time of processing Gabriella's words, Emma understood what Gabriella meant. "It was a happy place that involved Troy right?"
"Right," admitted Gabriella. "I'm supposed to do this on my own though right? Become less reliant on him?"
Emma let out a sigh. "No, you aren't supposed to try to block him out of your life Gabriella, I think that's where you are misunderstanding me. Troy makes you happy, he makes you feel safe, and that's something that is great, really. What I have been trying to get you to make progress with is relying on Troy to make yourself feel safe in everyday life. Memories shared and used for happy places is fine, that means you have a great sense of peace when you are with him but as you live your life, I want you to be able to feel that you can depend on yourself, that you can save yourself. Does that make sense?"
"That I need to be less of a damsel in distress right?" returned Gabriella, realizing that she really had been playing that role more than she would like to admit. "More like Mulan versus Sleeping Beauty?"
Emma couldn't help but laugh at this example. "I think you understand me based on that. Yes, more like a Mulan type character who relies on herself yet also has a soft spot in her heart for her love interest. She's tough but also has those emotions. As I said, I think it's great that you have found what you have with Troy, the true love that's there. You can have both Gabriella, the independence while still having a wonderful relationship with Troy. You just need to work on finding that balance."
"I think I understand," agreed Gabriella, actually getting the true meaning behind what Emma said. "Well, now is as good of a time as any right? To find my inner strength?"
"You will need it tomorrow, I won't lie to you," responded Emma. "So let's start with today. How did you feel today without Troy being at school with you?"
Gabriella took a few moments and thought back to everything that happened earlier on in the day. "Well, there was driving to school with Curtis in the car instead of Paul. That was interesting. I don't think I've ever driven with just Cutis in the car. Anyway, from there we went into school, dodging the ever present paparazzi. It seems like the actual reporters aren't around, they must be at the courthouse if they are still covering, which it seems they are in tidbits since they can't get much out of anyone with the gag order. Once inside I went to Troy's locker to get my stuff. I went to homeroom and was sad to see there was more vandalism on my locker door. I'm sure Principal Matsui is getting upset with the number of times he has to clean that door."
Before she could continue, Emma stopped Gabriella there. "The vandalism on your locker door. What did it say?"
"Princess Whore," replied Gabriella, trying to clear her mind immediately of the image of those words on the door. "A few days ago it was 'Bitch'. I'm not sure if they don't know that I don't use that locker now or if they don't dare do anything against Troy's locker."
"How did it make you feel to see that?" prodded Emma.
"Sad but not by much. I think sadly, it's becoming norm for me. It's not affecting me as much as it used to, when it happened the first and second time. In some odd way, I think I'm actually expecting it," revealed Gabriella.
"So it didn't faze you that much, interesting. What else happened today?" asked Emma, writing more down in her notebook.
"Just went to classes, had lunch with the gang who acted fairly normal although I know they were all keeping an extra eye out for me, especially Chad. Troy probably said something to him. PE even went fine, Alicia has been pretty quiet lately besides the sneers and jabs she gets in every once in a while. Maybe she's finally just accepting everything?" concluded Gabriella, shrugging her petite shoulders a little. "That is possible right?"
"It is possible but I would still be careful around her. So it sounds like you did great on your own today Gabriella. Very Mulan of you. Did you even realize there wasn't much of a difference in how you felt today versus a day last week when Troy was holding your hand?" questioned Emma, turning a page to write again.
Gabriella paused, thinking of the emotions she felt during school. "There was a definite sense of missing Troy, even Paul, being around but I wasn't scared or nervous," admitted Gabriella out loud. "Like when I saw those words on the locker, when I heard some of the gossip going around still, it didn't faze me, it didn't cause me to want to run and hide again. I think I've just chalked it all up to being a typical day. Is that bad?"
"Well are you just ignoring what's going on around you?" questioned Emma.
Gabriella shook her head. "No, I hear it, I see it, but I think I'm just actively making an effort to stop it from bothering me so much. It's like this quote that Troy and I talked about that his mom told him when he was a young boy and that I read and loved the instant I read it. I only let these malicious people win when I let them hurt me, I'm the only one that can control their effect on me and I think I'm just tired of being the target, of letting them cause doubt in my head, in my mind."
Emma startled Gabriella with her sudden clapping, causing Gabriella to look up at her therapist in surprise. "Do you know what an accomplishment that is Gabriella? What you just said to me? Do you even understand what progress you just showed?"
After she blinked a few times, Gabriella shrugged her shoulders a little. "A little?"
"More than a little Gabriella! You just went a whole day at school by yourself, without the one person you feel you couldn't live without, that is in some ways your security blanket, and you survived it by controlling your own thoughts and emotions. You aren't ignoring the problem, you are dealing with it and you have resolved not to let anyone hurt you any longer. Gabriella, I am so very proud of you!" exclaimed Emma, grinning from ear to ear. "You haven't ever said those words or even those ideas to me Gabriella for as long as we've had these sessions. I'm starting to see the strength and personality of the true Gabriella Montez, the young woman before everything happened to you, before having the weight of a crown put on your shoulders, and definitely before Riley attacked you. This is amazing!"
"Wow," muttered Gabriella, sitting back into the seat she was in now, absorbing everything Emma just said to her. 'Could she be right? Am I actually really better now? Is this where I've been fighting to be all this time?'
Just then, there was a knock on the door that Emma got up and opened, smiling more as she saw who it was on the other side of the door. She quietly closed the door behind her as she stepped out into the hallway to talk to Annette privately.
Annette saw the ecstatic look on Emma's face and knew that something big had happened. "What? What has happened?"
"Gabriella has had the biggest breakthrough she has had so far and the timing couldn't have been any better!" shared Emma, truly happy for the young woman on the other side of the door. "She's learned how to handle herself and these outside forces that are working against her per se. I think it's only a matter of time before you have your daughter fully back to you."
Annette's eye lit up at this prospect. "Really? She's happy again, like really happy and not just the fake happy she throws up sometimes?"
"Well I wouldn't say necessarily truly happy but she's getting there. I can't say more but I have confidence that she'll leave that courtroom tomorrow being more together than we had feared she may be. You'll see, just give her time your highness," replied Emma, rolling her eyes as Annette waved her hand dismissively at the title.
"I still don't understand how Gabriella got you to call her Gabriella but I can't seem to do the same," complained Annette, smiling affectionately at the other woman.
"Trust me, she did a lot of begging and it is also better for her for us to have built this relationship that we have," responded Emma. "Plus she insisted and insisted and insisted."
"Then I guess I'll have to insist, insist, and insist that you call me Annette," replied Annette.
Emma paused for a moment before she finally nodded her agreement. "All right, I can see where I am beat. I need to go back inside to finish up with Gabriella but is there something you came by for? Do you want to talk to her?"
"I was just checking up on her. It's okay, I can come back a little later, I don't want to interrupt progress. Thank you Emma, truly, for everything you have done to help our daughter," said Annette, meaning every word.
Emma smiled back at the would-be-queen. "It's my pleasure."
Annette watched as Emma turned and slipped back into the room, wondering how much progress Gabriella really had made in the past few days, weeks. 'She does seem less jumpy and much more happy. Maybe my dear Gabriella really is coming back, the confident, happy, fun loving girl I've always known. God, please let that be true!'
Troy grinned as he finally found Gabriella reading a book for her AP English class in the brown living room, curled up on the little couch which was drawn close to the blazing fire, a blanket around her lower half. He stared at her for a few moments before actually entering the room, having caught the wink Paul had thrown his way before vanishing in the direction of the training room. Troy made every effort to be quiet, using every moment he had to enjoy the sense of peace Gabriella had about her at that very moment, not even biting on her lip as she read as was her norm. He snuck up behind the couch and slowly, so as to not startle her, snaked his arms around her shoulders, nuzzling her neck with his nose and mouth while he heard a soft giggle escape her. "Miss me? Of course you did!"
Gabriella smiled as she turned her body to face him, kissing his left cheek before pulling away to study his face. "Actually, I hardly noticed you weren't there at school today. I must have been too busy flirting with this hot new guy," teased Gabriella, fighting the urge to outright laugh as she saw the surprise on Troy's face first and then the forced hurt look on his face as he realized she was totally kidding.
Troy unwrapped his arms from around her and walked to the front of the couch, lifting her legs up as he sat down on the couch and let her legs rest over his lap. "Hot new guy huh? I guess I'll just have to use this negative emotion from today on him to turn him into a not so hot new guy," kidded Troy, somewhat regretting it as he saw the light-hearted mood vanish from Gabriella's demeanor.
"How was it testifying today? Was it hard? Did they grill you and Paul?" asked Gabriella, anxious to know what she and Tessa would face tomorrow.
"They did grill us but it wasn't anything Troy and I couldn't handle," announced Paul before he entered the living room. "They play hard ball, I won't kid you, but the truth is the truth. You don't have anything to be afraid of."
Troy began to play with the promise ring on Gabriella's right hand as he saw her start to bite the corner of her lip. He let out a sigh and said, "I think for me, the hardest part was sitting there and looking straight at Riley, forcing my one thought that was like a mantra in my head to stay silent as I answered questions."
"And what was running in your head?" asked Gabriella.
"How much he wanted to hurt and torture Riley Sutton," supplied Paul, knowing Troy would never admit those feelings to Gabriella. "I don't blame him either, I wanted to do the same thing when I was up on that stand and when I've been in the courtroom on other days."
Gabriella shook her head. "None of that would help though. He'd still be Riley and what he has done to me would still be done. It wouldn't take any of that away."
"You mean to tell me that you don't want him hurt even in the slightest?" asked a shocked Paul.
"Well, yes and no. Yes, I really resent him for what he did to me, took from me, but at the same time, I believe in fate and I believe in karma. If nothing else, from all my time with Emma, I've come to realize that the past is the past, we can't alter it. Nothing any of the three of us do can make everything magically better. We have to work at it, I have to make myself whole again and I think I've done a good job so far," confessed Gabriella. "Why are you both looking at me like I grew two extra heads?"
Troy just shook his head, amazed that Gabriella had said so much in so little time. "I'm just surprised is all. So are you going to be okay tomorrow? I can convince my parents to excuse me from school again to be there for you in the courtroom."
Gabriella shook her head. "No, definitely not. I need to do this on my own, I need to face him in a safe environment to help me get over this. Besides, you have a test tomorrow Troy," reminded Gabriella. "Speaking of, when are you going to study for it?"
He rolled his eyes at this. "Leave it to you to abandon a real life serious situation to talk about school. I studied this weekend remember? And I brought my notes and book with me here," answered Troy, picking a strap of his bag up to show her it was on the floor. "Honestly Brie, if you want me there, I'll be there."
"No. As much as I appreciate your offer Troy, I can't ask you to skip out on school when you have a test. Your grades matter this year especially if you are trying for a scholarship," replied Gabriella.
Gabriella's cell phone went off from the side table and she picked it up, smiling a little as she saw the name on the caller ID. "Hi Tessa," greeted Gabriella, causing Troy to smirk.
"Hey Gaby. Are you ready for tomorrow?" asked Tessa.
Gabriella let out a long sigh. "I am but I wish everyone would stop asking me that, really. You're testifying too."
"Well yeah but I'm a witness to the events that led up to, well, you know," replied Tessa, hating she didn't know the right words to say.
"That led up to the rape?" filled in Gabriella.
Troy and Paul both stared at the brunette after hearing her call Riley's attack on her "rape" for the first time. She noticed and just stared back, slowly realizing the power of that one word being uttered from her lips for the first time. "Whoa," muttered Paul, shocked that Gabriella said what she did.
"Was that Troy I just heard?" questioned Tessa, getting over her own surprise.
"No, it was Paul," answered Gabriella. "Troy is here though."
There was a pause before Tessa asked, "Can I talk to him?"
Gabriella shrugged her shoulders and handed the phone over to Troy, who looked at her puzzled before taking it. "Hello?"
"Bolton, how does Gaby look right now? Is she really okay? That was a bit of a shocker, hearing that one word from her," confessed Tessa.
"Tell me about it. Shocked us here too but I think that one word shows she's a lot stronger than most of us are giving her credit for," returned Troy, picking up Gabriella's right hand in his to kiss the back of it before getting up from the couch and walking to the windows to talk to Gabriella's best friend as Paul began talking to Gabriella again.
"I know she's strong but that's a big thing for her to say that word," replied Tessa. "I even have trouble saying it."
"I can tell. Trust me Tess, she's fine. If she wasn't, no offense, but I wouldn't be talking to you right now," returned Troy.
Tessa let out a little laugh. "Oh, I know that already Troy. So what are you about being over there the night before she's testifying with me?"
"I thought I'd spend some time with her since I missed her today from not being at school and I won't see her tomorrow. I also wanted to give her some warning, you too, that the lawyer Sutton has is pretty aggressive. He'll try to get under your skin. I almost launched myself at Riley at one point because he was sitting there smirking at me while his lawyer tried to make me into this big evil guy that stole Sutton's girlfriend and drove Riley into being crazed. I guess maybe they are trying to go with insanity as a defense?" suggested Troy. "All I know is that my control was hanging on by a small thread and I had to force myself to look away from the jerk before I did something that would land me sharing a cell with the bastard."
Tessa was silent for a few moments. "So it was that intense? I was hoping you were going to tell me tomorrow would be easy."
Troy chuckled. "Come on Tessa, since when did you become the girl that liked things easy? Seriously though, I think you and Brie will be fine. Do me a favor though. Please, please, call me or text me if she's not okay all right? I'll ditch school in a heartbeat to be there for her if she needs me."
"Did she ask you to come?" questioned Tessa.
"No, she said she would be fine," returned Troy.
"Then she will be. If I have learned nothing else about our girl Troy, I have learned that Gabriella is a strong individual with great control. It may have been damaged with Riley's initial attack and some events here and there at East and West combined but I can see her spirit really coming back and taking over again. That's a good sign Troy, really. That's sweet though for you to want to be there for her. I promise if she's not well I'll call you as soon as I can, all right?" offered Tessa, knowing that Troy's worry was genuine.
"Thanks Tessa," replied Troy. "You know, you really aren't that scary these days."
Tessa scoffed. "That's what you think. I've just been saving it to give Riley a good ass kicking mentally and through looks for tomorrow. After testifying though, you are fair game again Bolton, that much I can vow to you. You are, after all, my best friend's boyfriend who is just so fun to tease."
"Ha, ha," dragged out Troy. "Want to talk to Brie again?"
"Nah, I'll let you guys make out and swap spit for a bit before you get caught by a bodyguard or worse yet her parents before you got back to studying," stated Tessa, smiling on the other end of the phone as she imagined the blush that was probably on his cheeks. "Like I said Troy, you are just so much fun to tease."
"Good night Tessa," got out Troy, trying to suppress the chuckle that he was trying to stop her from hearing.
"Night," returned Tessa, smiling as she ended the call, thinking of how well she and Troy got along as friends now after really getting to know each other and somewhat relating to each other over the common thing between them, Gabriella.