I focused on the instructor's voice and tried to concentrate on my breathing like she instructed. Slowly, I counted to four as I inhaled. I held my breath for another four counts before exhaling with another four beats. As simple as the exercise was, I was having great difficulty focusing my attention on just the instructor's voice and my breathing. After all, I hadn't meditated in such a long time.

I recalled hearing how Kris regretted stopping her meditation for a while. It'd been so difficult for her to get back to the routine and now I knew what she'd meant. Of course, it didn't help that I had so many things going on in my mind either.

Earlier that day, I'd met up with Holly and Daniel for lunch. Instead of it being a nice break for all three of us however, all we could talk about was the life I was coming to know more and more about as time passed. They were pleasant enough at first, keeping the conversation on neutral topics like my family, my friends, my job, the weather, the latest movies… But I could tell their hearts were just not there. Their faces were tightly drawn. They looked so exhausted. Daniel was more irritable than usual and, after our initial greeting, Holly hadn't had the energy to even smile.

After asking, I'd found out that there'd been a recent battle, which accounted for their being slightly late in meeting up with me. Apparently, the guy who'd killed Kris had gotten a lot more powerful since their last confrontation. I've already learned of his reputation for being a cruel, heartless man who stopped at nothing to get what he wanted. The shallow cut on Holly's face proved just that. She'd been lucky to get away with only that physical reminder.

But I knew what the man wanted. She'd just been a toy for him today but in battles to come, he'll mow her down and anyone else who tried to protect me. I was the goal. I was the one his blade cried out for. Death was my sentence, my price for being Quinn. As if it was my fault I'd been Chosen to lead this people into a peaceful life…

I smirked. He and his kind wanted my life because I wanted to restore Balance. How ironic that I should be killed for wanting an end to all this bloodshed…

"…Ryan…"

I snapped my head up and looked into a pair of green eyes. I took in a sharp breath as I felt those eyes timidly reach into me… "I'm sorry Veronica. What was that?"

She let out a breath and sank back onto her legs that were folded underneath her. "You know Quinn, you had me worried there for a second. We're done for the day and you just continued to sit there with that blank look on your face and troubles in your eyes. What's wrong?"

I looked at my colleague, the one we referred to as Hyam. Her concern was evident on her face and I knew she was willing to help me in any way possible, not unlike many other people. However, there was this air to her… She carried herself calmly, without the rushed feeling I was surrounded by most of the time. I guess she needed to be that way, otherwise she couldn't be where she was now. Time didn't matter for her, or so she made many believe. Yet she knew that a life could be saved or lost in just a second. As the Healer, she knew that, but that knowledge never fazed her. I found her calm demeanor reassuring in this hectic world.

"I've just got a lot on my mind," I found myself replying.

"I'm sure you do. I remember when I was first Called to this duty. My teacher had died in battle and being his apprentice, I assumed his role. Even though I'd grown up knowing what I'd become, following his footsteps, it was still a shock to actually be there. There were so many responsibilities… So many challenges…" She realized that she was rambling. "I'm sorry. I know that it must be hard for you, even more so because you're older and had no real teacher. But we're all here for you. That's what we're here for."

"I know," I replied, giving her a small smile. "Thank you."

She flashed a smile of her own before gracefully standing up and reaching down to help me up as well. "Now, if I recall, it's time for you to get to combat training."

I gave a groan. "Not again. I swear, I'll never recover from the bruises I get in there." Still, I couldn't help but smile as Veronica accompanied me to the training grounds. Despite my initial misgivings, I was actually feeling a whole lot better about the whole situation than when I'd first learned of everything. For the most part, everyone was supportive of me… That was until after I found myself trudging off the training grounds.

I took longer than expected when I was changing back into my street clothes because I was so exhausted. Every muscle in my body ached and all I wanted was to go to sleep. I knew that I had to go to work in five hours but I didn't care. Four hours of sleep would be better than none…

It was just my luck that as I was leaving, I heard four familiar voices reach me as I passed by one building on my way to the car. A window was open and in the quiet night, it was no surprise that their voices carried quite this far.

"He's no good to us!" I recognized Daniel's voice instantly. "I mean, look at him! He's too old. He isn't picking up as quickly as he should be and we don't even know his Power yet."

"I agree," another male voice added. I knew him as Isaac, or Casta, the last of my Council. "His taking longer in learning everything is costing both him and us. It's too dangerous a risk!"

"A risk to who?" I heard Holly demand. "He's doing everything humanly possible to try and learn what he needs to know."

"Just because he's trying doesn't mean it's not dangerous," Daniel argued back. "He's failing us by not being what we need right now. We needed him in that last battle, you know. But you wanted to buy him more time. Time that he doesn't necessarily have!"

"We've argued about this before already," I heard Holly give a warning growl. "He's meant to be a Teacher, not a warrior!"

"And all we needed at that battle was another body to help us in the fight," Isaac said. "I can only lead these people for so long before they demand that he take up his role. He knows enough of the basics to-"

"But that isn't his role! Quinn's job was always to teach, lead, and fight in that order!"

"Look, I can't say I don't agree with you because I do. But we don't need a Teacher right now. What we need is a-"

I heard Veronica's gentle voice break into the argument. "You say that this is all a risk gentlemen, but tell me, would it have been less of a risk to have another as the Chosen one?" An awkward silence followed. "At least we knew about him and his potential. The two of you even knew him on a personal level." I imagined that she'd pointed at Daniel and Holly then. "We've watched him for a long time now and have seen what he's capable of. So what if he can't control himself yet? Just because he's starting out slow doesn't mean that he won't turn out to be as strong or as powerful as Kristin."

She paused again to let that sink in. "You guys, we've worked with Kristin for so long now and I know it's hard to move on. We need the time to heal after losing her so harshly but time isn't what we have right now. The five of us were a family. At least, that's what you guys became to me when I was Called just a few years ago. I looked at the four of you with such awe and pride because you were so close. I was honored to be part of the same Council. And look at us now. We're arguing because we don't trust in her Choice."

Silence followed and I took that as my chance to leave. I didn't want to hear anymore. Before I was completely out of range though, I felt Veronica create a mind link. "I'm sorry you had to hear that Ryan."

"I'm sorry too," I whispered into the night as I finally made my way back to the car. Gently, I closed the mind link she'd created and left. All I wanted was sleep… To sleep and never wake up. This new life terrified me and as each day passed, I wanted nothing more than to just leave the world behind and go away indefinitely. And I thought that things were getting better… Hearing the guys say those thing about me tonight had reinforced the doubts I already had about myself and had been trying to push away. As if I wasn't completely unsure of myself already… Sure, somewhere inside of me, I knew I was being a coward. They were right. They knew what they were talking about. But I had hoped that maybe I was just wrong, that maybe everything really was okay…

I started the car and started taking the drive back to the apartment. I knew I was a risk to the group, but I couldn't understand just why I couldn't do the things I should be able to do. It was embarrassing to watch as younger people caught on quickly o their lessons and I was jealous that they were able to just listen to their superior and rarely question… Such was their devotion to people like Veronica and Holly and Isaac and even Daniel. But then again, it was that same age difference that made me the more likely candidate for the job. I knew (somewhat) of the horrors of the world. I was more experienced and I could be (hopefully) counted on for being more rational thinking than the (usually) more spur of the moment thinking youngster. If only my lack of experience weren't so damning…

I felt old… Too old for my liking. Then again, how many times had I joked to Kris about feeling old?

"Too many times," I heard her chuckle in my mind.

"Kristin…"

Lucky for me, I'd just parked my car because I had to close my eyes then as tears threatened to spill over. I don't know if it was because I missed her so much and I never got to say a proper good-bye, or if I was crying because I still felt as if life was just a big joke and I was going crazy, or if I was crying because I just felt like I was being pulled apart in so many directions and I didn't know how to keep it all together…

I felt a cool, soothing feeling wash over my body. "Or maybe you're just crying because a good cry doesn't need an excuse. You have a lot of tension in you and crying cleanses you, drains you of all unnecessary emotions and lets you think rationally."

I nodded to myself, half forgetting that she really wasn't there to see me nod.

Somehow, I managed trudge up the couple flights of stairs to my floor. The last thing I remembered before getting into bed that night was hearing myself groan when I saw the clock. I had three hours of sleep ahead of me.

As luck would have it though, my wish for rest was ungranted. Life had other plans in store for me.

I don't know what it was that made me wake up exactly but when I did, I knew I wasn't alone in my room anymore. Willing myself to keep my breathing at a slow, steady pace, I tentatively reached out with my senses to detect this stranger and located the being at the foot of my bed to one side. The more I waited, the more the features became apparent. The figure had a feminine air to her and she just seemed to be waiting for something. I got the feeling that she had an experienced spirit, a wise mind that was calculating… I knew I was in trouble, but since she was just waiting…

And then I felt a pair of hands encircle and tighten around my neck. I'd been so intent on the woman at the foot of my bed that I hadn't realized when this new stranger, definitely a strong male, had arrived. It was a short struggle. There was no way I could have freed myself from his hold since I'd been laying on my stomach. There was no way I could flip myself over so I just let myself go, much to the amusement of the woman…

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