Jumping over the counter with a bloodcurdling scream, you suddenly develop a cowboy hat and leather tassles on your boots. You lasso a shelf of pies and kidnap the assistant, slapping her about the face until she cries for mercy. The pitiful flutter of her voice makes you stop your brutality. You look into her deep blue eyes and stroke her wavy golden hair, which is tumbling around her beautiful face like a waterfall. Then you start slapping her about again.
As you drag the pies and the girl towards the open door, a do-gooder wearing a beige anorak and carrying a bag of oranges decides to perform a citizen's arrest. Naturally you laugh and spit in his face. Unfortunately you then trip over your own lasso and graze your knee, which makes you cry. You feel your image has been irrevocably damaged and run away to the circus where for many years you live in happy obscurity as "Mong Man".
I'd still like a pie, if that's all right with you.
Oh leave me alone, you witch!
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