Making It Work...

It's nine o'clock at night. You've been waiting all day to talk to your love but since they've been at work all night you haven't been able to talk to them until now. Unfortunately, they are also three times zones ahead of you and have an event planned early the next morning, so your time will be cut short. And, if that wasn't enough this has been the same situation for the last week.

How do you make it work?

This scenario is more common than not in an on-line relationship. Then there is the added bonus in many of the relationships that the couple have not even met yet. This can cause many of the relationships to fail... but on the other side it makes the ones that stay together much stronger and more likely to maintain their relationship for a longer period of time than a "real" world relationship.

To help you have that type of on-line success I have compiled a list of guidelines and tips that I have found incredibly helpful to make it through to where I am know.

1. Always make time for your love. As each situation varies, it is really important to make your love feel like they are number one in your universe.. even if that means being over 3,000 miles away.

2. Make them feel special. With a barrier of distance it is very easy to miss a moment when your love was not having a great day or make need some extra attention. To combat that always pay attention to their moods, their tone of voice and go the extra mile to make them feel special regardless of the present situation. Some great ways to do this is to send an e-mail or virtual card every day, send packages through the mail (just about everyone loves receiving something through "snail" mail!) and tell them as often you as you can remember just how much they mean to you!

3. Trust your partner. For your relationship to work you need to trust your partner in what they do. Until you meet (or live together) you will each have your own separate lives to attend to in the "real" world. Let your partner do this without hesitation.

4. Keep in constant communication. Without communication you don't have a relationship. And, the more communication you have the more your love for each other will grow. Take some time out at least every other day to sit down and talk, undisturbed, for about an hour or so... just the both of you. It will do wonders for your relationship.

5. Surprise your love often. As you can not physically be there to let them know your thinking about them.. surprise them with the unexpected often. This will let your love know that you are really thinking about them and also invite them to be the same way back to you!

6. Watch that the relationship is a healthy one. If your love seems overly jealous, untrusting, controlling or something doesn't seem right. Talk to them about it and fine out what the underlying issue may be. If you still don't feel right about it... let the relationship go. It will work out better in the long run and save many upsets in the future!

7. Plan out your meeting and/or future. This is a great way to grow closer together and to plan how you are going to make your move into a "real" world relationship. Plus, it's loads of fun!

8. If something does go wrong, talk about it. It will make you both feel better and usually will solve any problems you run into. If it doesn't and you feel the need to part ways at least you can do it one friendly terms and keep a great friendship. As each person is different, so is each relationship. Take the time to really know what your love wants and desires and exactly what they expect in your particular relationship. You never know what their definition of an on-line romance is. You will run into people who think it is a game... but then there is the ultimate reward of finding your soulmate that makes every other relationship pale in comparison. For this, keep your chins up and know it will work out as long as you keep true to yourself and your love!





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From my lovely lady, as she was "surfing" the net, thanks Dee..8 Aug 1998


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