This section is a collection of quotes, songs, and other stuff from people I know and don't. If you have some funny/beautiful/sad/whatever something that you believe should be shared, please email it to me.
"I prefer REAL bacon. Bacon from a cow!" - Mirja
"I like the evil numbers. You know...2,4,6..." - Anja
"I could be the biggest pig in the world, but you'll STILL have bread sticks in your pop can." - Max
"Just pick someone and kick them real hard." - Mirja
Lacey: "Look! His clothes are coming off!"
Joanne: "They just don't make toilet paper like they used to."
"As soon as you open your mouth, everybody knows you've got crap in your head." - Mirja
"Smells like brown. Light brown." - Anja
"If you have the choice, go for the money." - Mirja
"I think I can say the outcome of this is that I've never wanted to kiss anyone with a mustache again. - Mr. Patterson
"He has to give you an A+. If not, I'm going to send him a mail-bomb. -Mirja
"I thought someone was peeing on my neck." -Lacey
"Strong verbs...hmmm...I musk!" -Charlene
Liz: "What's it rated?"
Lacey: "Triple X."
Liz: "Perrrrfect."
"He put his 'love-rod' in her 'sheath'." -Jeff Cool
Mr. Swintak: "The elevator is like a gun."
Lacey (to Becca): "I'm going to shoot you with an elevator."
"Oh! Big kiss for you!" -Mr. Eid to Becca when she told him it was her birthday.
Mr Frattolin: Elliot Lake. What was mined there?
Adam W: Uranium!
Matt: Not my anuim!
"How much can you corrode a rancid pile of meat?" - Ian on the image of the President of the US.
Lacey: We have zucchini loaf........
Joanne: Hold me back.
"In a crowd of 18 000, if you don't have a glowstick, you are nothing!" - Rachael
"If all my friends jumped off a bridge, I would have done it first, because they all follow me!" - Rachael
"Just throw a bunch of bricks at it 'til it falls!" - Rachael
"In 10 years, when the ocean recedes, they will find a dead body under a rock and all because you didn't look before you threw it!" - Rachael
"We hate ln. We like astroturf!" - Becca
"....Was that your leg?..." - Rachael
"I like to play and be played with." -Mirja
Jona: "I feel your pain."
Lacey: "You finger paint?"
"Thousands and thousands of dollars on upkeep of your grossness." -Becca (on tattoo maintenance)
"This is gonna be some jive-ass crap." -Mr. Little (substitute english teacher)
"It is a library. It's not a place where you should just scream out the word 'genitals.'" -Lacey
"But in that game, you really have to watch out for sheep shrapnel." -Andrew O
"No, but honestly. I think I've become more tolerant, because now I can talk to Andrew without screaming SHUT UP in his face." -Charlene
"Ahhh, we were naked all the time in high school." - My dad
"It's like when you break your neck and eat it..." - Mark (D. H.) Z.
"Buy the basics and the rest will come to you," - says Mark as he mooches food from EVERYONE in New York.
"You could lick your own face, but the problem is licking your own face. At least you know where your tongue has been." - My dad
"If we stopped now in science, we'd never progress. We'd never get to the Star Trek level. We'd never have warp drive!" - Mr Hayne
"You wouldn't know WHAT to do with 8 Parisian prostitutes!" - Mr Frattolin
Jean: "It's cold. Shut the window."
Adam: "No, it's only open 4 inches."
Jean: "That's a lot!"
Adam: "Maybe for YOU that's a lot…"
"I've smuggled worse…" - Mr Hayne
"You darken the doorways on the wrong day, you go to hell!" - Becca
"Mother Nature is fucked in the head!" - Amy
Lacey: (with an orange peel in mouth) "Would you still love me if I looked like a monkey?"
Dad: Sure. That'd just mean you looked like mum's side of the family."
"I want to hitchhike across Canada. Oh wait, I'd probably DIE." - Becca
Amy: "Dave, did you steal my pink pen?"
Dave: "No, I was just looking at it."
Amy: "In your pocket?"
"That's almost as much fun as self-inflicted gun shot wounds!" - Devin
"First you pierce your ears, then you'll be wearing skirts." - Granpa P to my cousin David
"If you pierce anything, pierce your nose. Then I'll stick a rope in the ring and pull you around." - Granpa P to David
"Yeah. It's like when your nails get so long that veins start growing in them. I could go for some Twizzlers." - Lacey
"May the Flyers rise up and destroy Kingsville!" - Paul
"Should you be drinking alcohol without a liver?" - from 10 Things I Hate About You
"Sounds good to me. I'm not the one who cares." - Dave
"I started this race, now there's only 86 more laps to go. Yipee" - Dave
"Swimming. That's the only important thing in my life. Swimming and women. They're the only important things in my life. And money. And power. They're the only important things in my life. And..." - Dave
"I made a kid pick up a jelly-fish once, 'cuz I told him it was dead. Then he picked it up and cried. Ha ha. Guess the joke was on him." - Dave
"We were sitting there, laughing, and grabbing each other's... candy." - Becca
"Didn't they have to stop, 'cuz it was the month of, uh, 'can't touch a woman', or whatever?" - Jean
"I told my friend's son I was taking him to Disney Land, but instead I took him to an old burned out building and said 'oh, too bad, Disney Land burned down,' and he cried and cried but deep down I think he thought it was pretty funny." - Ian told me that, but I think he was quoting someone else.
"Lacey...when I fart it feels funny because all the bubbles get stuck in my back because I am not wearing a 2-piece." - Barbara, a camper at G-wood.
"Hey kids, let's play scissor tag!" - Jay, a counsellor at G-wood.
"Hey kids, let's swallow shards of broken glass!" - Jay
"GET your hands off my pescatore!" - Eoin
"Ricky Martin, he's the kind of guy where you'd look twice, but you wouldn't look a third time." - Vern
"You want a quote? Here's a quote: My dad is sexy!" - Ian aka Buster
"Yellow is... lemon." - Paul
"I'm evil. Prime Evil. Like Prime Rib, only evil." - Becca
"You never score in a sonnet." - Dr. Jenstad (English Professor)
"You can be chaste all your life, but worms are going to eat your body when you die whether or not you were chaste." - Dr. Jenstad
"Evil is good." - Ian
"Most of you are at the age when Satan becomes very appealing." - Dr. Jenstad
"Isn't that a form of incest? Wearing your sister's kilt if you're a guy?" - Paul
Becca: There's something on your finger.
Paul: Oh. It's mustard or earwax. (He tastes it) It's mustard.
"I would rather be an ugly woman than a good looking one. The uglier the woman I am, the closer to looking like a man." - Chris Cooch
"The sit-coms are created by the Masters of Television just to make people stupid." - Dr. Temelini (Languages/MultiCulti Studies Professor)
"Give me one speck, one cell of your brain, and trust my word on this, and in 20 years (I'll probably be dead) I bet you any money you'll say 'Temelini was right!' I wish I could come back and collect." - Dr. Temelini
"Like Adam. A new Adam. Adam. Naked. Adam." - Dr. Temelini
"The best part of the movie is the last 15 minutes. The rest is just prepration." - Dr. Temelini
"Chicks dig the salad bar." - Lacey
"If I were a man, I'd be a breast-man." - Andrea
"I shouldn't say stuff like that, because then you'll want to rebel like Satan and the rebel angels." - Dr. Jenstad
"In Donne's poetry, consummation is the name of the game." - Dr. Jenstad
"She knows I grind like hell." - Sterling
"I wouldn't clip myself for a trillion dollars." - Sterling
"I wouldn't have my balls removed if it was the last thing on earth." - Sterling
"Toes are important." - Sean from Great Big Sea
"And if he actually gains access to her private parts... I mean her private room..." - Alan from Great Big Sea
"We should form a band, you and I..." - Sean to Alan during their concert in Kingston.
"Always drink wine with your pants on. And make sure your legs go in the right holes." - Lacey
"You know what? If you gave me a drug, I wouldn't know whether to smoke it, shoot it, suck it..." - Joanne
"Guys should be seen and not heard. Unless they're spouting love sonnets or moaning." - Andrea. READ THE SONNETS STERLING COMPOSED IN RESPONSE TO THIS
Vern: "Aw man. I need another abortion, and I've already had 12.
Siobhan: "No, haven't you ever heard of the old coat-hanger trick?"
"Don't worry, I can handle it." - Eoin's saying for just about anything.
Lacey (about a skater on TV): "Mmm."
Eoin: "Yeah, he's amazing."
Lacey: "Oh, I've never seen him skate before."
Eoin: "I wasn't talking about his skating."
"Now the thing with an abortion is, there's a chance you might lose the baby." - Rachael
"America is Rome without Greece. It has military power, technical power, but it doesn't have soul. A philosophical soul." - Dr. Temelini
"You can find justification for anything. It's like the artist who shit on a piece of paper, put a thing around it, and called it 'The Shit of the Artist.' I'm sorry but shit is not art." - Dr. Temelini
"Stop your stupid fighting, or I'll kill you both." - Dr. Temelini
"That's art! Anything else is experimentation and shit." - Dr. Temelini
"If Rome had had electricity, it would have ruled the world!" - Dr. Temelini
"The Earth is small. A little billiard ball sitting in the middle of nothing." - Dr. Temelini
"Death happens" - Vern
"Death comes to those who wait." - Siobhan
"Hey, I'm smelling myself. Hey! I'm sitting next to myself!" - Mirja
"If the Irish had had Tater-Tots during the famine, they wouldn't have starved." - Lacey
"I think you Canadians are born with skates on your feet." - Mirja
"You can drink just about anything!" - Lacey
"I wanna kill her! I wanna BE her!" - Mirja, after finding out that Raine Maida married Chantal.
"If you put on a show, expect a review." - Lacey
"The girl I married before kindergarden dumped me the first day of kindergarden. But I got back at her! In grade 3 I threw up on her shoes." - Paul
Lacey: "Mirja know ALL about de Ganja-cake."
Mirja: "Well, I'm not having it as cake..."
Lacey: "For every naked guy in a movie, there are 6 naked girls."
Paul: "That's because girls have nicer bodies."
L: "I don't think so."
P: "The world of art agrees with me; look at all the naked women in art."
L: "I think Michelangelo liked penises."
P: "Oh, we don't talk about him - he's the limp-wristed Ninja Turtle."
"Guys know more than we let on. We act dumb, but really we know everything." - Paul
"I'd feel pretty gross too, if I were you. Just thought I'd be frank." - Dave
"It's orange-kiwi-passion time!" - Dave
"Hey everyone, bring your brains up to the front so I can put them away." Mr. O'Halloran, Biology Teacher
"And he's running for president AS he's coming out of the womb." - Becca
"I had Sex on the Beach with Tom Collins before. We were in Long Island at the time. Then someone gave me a Blow Job." - Kevin
"It's a laugh and a half, 'til your thumb's gone!" - Amy
"It's not even a car, it's an elephant rollerblade." - Lorenz
"You've put too much time and effort into that relationship not to have gotten a piece. It's like... lighting a joint and then leaving the room. Or blowing a hit into your pet bird's face." - Rob
"THAT is the front of the west back cuz the front is the front of the back cuz nothing can have to fronts unless it does. But that doesn't. Just the whole country does." - Becca's discussion of the Western Front of WWII
"When I heard Mr. Dressup swear, it was like a piece of me from my childhood just...died." - my cousin Max
"I'm famous, know why? 'Cuz there's Graham crackers." - my cousin Graham
"I read this poem. I ask, 'Why isn't this poem a toilet?' It's a perfectly legitimate question." - Dr. Pender (English Professor)
"So if I came up to you on the street, grabbed your shirt collar and shook you around, you'd say 'Hey, I don't want to define madness here, but...'?" - Dr. Pender
"If someone were to run down the street wearing lederhosen and carrying a sausage (my apologies to any Germans in the crowd) screaming 'Sex! Sex! Sex!', we would have to understand the context of that situation." - Dr. Pender
"I think men should have to go through the same pain as women. While the woman is giving birth, the man should be laying next to her, getting a bikini wax." - Janelle
"Yeah. Mom gave me a hundred dollars. And then she said I could have the cot and the bed, and that I could pick where you sleep. Cuz you're a little bitch. That's what mom said 'Stephen's a little bitch.' And then I urinated on your pillow." - Max to his brother
"That's what my autobiography's going to be called - 'Naked in a Bed with Anthony Hopkins.'" - Max
"You never know when your fake-boyfriend might die in a fake fire, so have sex on the first date." - Rachael
"Bob, enjoy being single. Girls cost money." - Paul
"He was pretty good looking. He looked like a Fraggle." - Rachael
"I don't own a mask made out of human flesh. Well, I do. But I wear it infrequenty." - Mike Myers, on his being confused with Michael Myers of 'Halloween'
"Don't mess with peripheral vision. It's real!" - Myles
"Is anyone a Star Trek fan? No? You're culturally deprived!" - Dr. Jenstad
"I don't care if Jesus is your mechanic! No one can be happy all the time." - Jeff Cool
"There are other things you can do with your lips...you know that!" - Dr. Bebout
"Well, I'm the prof. So tough shit." - Dr. Jenstad
"Stop the video! The Normans are coming!" - Dr. Bebout
"I've always wanted to be a doctor's wife." - Jeff Cool
"Hey, we could start a F-A-R-macy. You could take care of the drugs and I'll take care of the petting zoo!" - Nathalie to her pharmacy-student cousin.
THE FOLLOWING ARE FROM WHEN BECCA AND I SPENT SOME DRUNKEN TIME VISITING DRUNKEN BOB IN DRUNKEN WATERLOO...
"I wasn't drinking alone. I was on the phone!" - Ryan
Lacey: "My digestion must be slow."
Bob: "Mine's slow. I wore myself out vaccuuming."
Lacey and Becca: "We set up your bed, Bob."
Bob (hammered): "Hey! My bed is set up!"
L&B: "Yeah, we set it up."
Bob: "Someone set up my bed! MAGIC PILLOW! MAGIC ELVES!"
"Bob, who the fuck is Bob?" - Bob
"I needed some fresh air, so I went outside to piss." - Cutty
"You're gonna have SEX with a CAR!" - Becca (to me after I almost went to play in traffic)
"I want to watch sex!" - Becca
"I want to take off someone's pants." - Lacey
"Guys, I need to stop and hug you. Hold my hands, guys. I love you guys." - Becca
Don't worry! The older bits and chunks are still here, I just felt like I should update this section a bit. To see the past bits and chunks, click HERE!!!
To the Next Dimension
