So quiet and peaceful
Tranquil and blissful
There's a kind of magic in the air
What a truly magnificent view
A breathtaking scene
With the dreams of the world
In the palm of your hand(1)
We had a really good time last night: we watched that old Mel Gibson movie, Payback.
Kevin laughed almost the whole way through it.
Which is probably a good reason we didn't go when it was in the theatres...
I can just imagine what the other people would have thought when he burst out laughing when Mel/Porter
shot Val in the head, or each time that goon brought the hammer down on one of Porter's toes...
I think he must have thought the violence was like a cartoon - no one really got hurt. Which, I suppose, is
true, if you think about it.
Maybe I shouldn't have let him watch it.
But Chris had insisted, arguing that violence is as much a part of life as anything else; more a part of life than
what's in most of those kid shows, where everybody's smiling, showing off their straight, white teeth to the world.
It's admirable what you're trying to do, but you can't shield him from the world forever. He has to know
that life isn't always "picture perfect."
I could even hear the quotation marks when she spoke.
I didn't have the heart - the guts ! - to tell her...
"Do you want the last egg sandwich ?"
"No, thank you."
"Yeah, please."
"Don't you think you've had enough ? That's going to make it four."
Kevin's eyes closed tightly in concentration for a second, than opened wide - as did his
smile - when he discovered that Brad was wrong. "Five ! It'll make five !!"
"Than I definitely think you've had enough."
Staci burst out in laughter as Kevin's face took on a confused, but highly humourous,
expression as he tried to follow his brother's logic.
"Tha's not fair," he said accusingly. "You tricked me..."
"I didn't make you eat that many sandwiches," Brad laughed defensively. "You did it all
on your own."
"But you tricked me..."
The sullenness of both Kevin's tone and the expression on his face finally caused Brad to
relent. Reaching into the plastic container, he lifted out the last sandwich, pulled it apart and
handed half to his brother.
"Here. We'll split it."
And just like that the sullenness was gone.
"Thanks, Brad !"
Taking the offered sandwich in one of his large hands, Kevin lifted it towards his
mouth...
"Shep !"
The unexpected shout came just as the little white-and-brown blur darted in close and
grabbed the sandwich from Kevin, leaving in its wake only a surprised expression and a hand
wet from saliva.
"My sandwich..." Kevin lamented to no one in particular as he stared blankly down at
his now empty hand.
Just as surprised by the quickness of the "attack" as his brother, Brad managed to break
out of his surprise in time to see the little white-and-brown blur - a mutt, no more than a puppy -
lie down in the grass and start to chew on the half-sandwich, completely oblivious to the young
woman stalking angrily in his direction.
"Bad dog !"
The mutt yelped in surprise, not pain, as the woman quickly bent over and grabbed him
by the neck. Picking the struggling dog up - the last few bits of the sandwich hanging loosely in
his mouth - she looked apologetically over at the trio sitting on the grass.
"I'm sorry about that, guys. He's not fully trained, yet."
"That's alright, Deirdre..." Brad started to assure her, but he was interrupted by an
excited Kevin, who scrambled to his feet as he asked in his high-pitched voice: "Can I hold him
?"
"I don't know, Kev..."
"Sure, Kevin." The dog had ceased its vain struggles, and now lay limply in Deirdre's
arms. "Here - hold him like this."
First showing him how to hold the puppy, with arms crossed under the animal's back in
support, and one hand holding his head up - in the same manner as a new-born - Deirdre offered
up the small bundle of fur to Kevin.
"Be careful, Kev," Brad warned. "He's still only a puppy."
"I be careful, Brad."
Taking the puppy in his large hands, Kevin did his best to imitate the hold Deirdre had
shown him; at first the animal resisted, but then, when Kevin began to gently rub its chin with
one finger, it settled down.
"Tha's a good dog," he cooed to the bundle in his arms, as if to a baby. "You not bad.
Not bad at all. You's a good puppy..."
"His name's Shep."
"Yes, you's a good Shep..."
Satisfied that Kevin was not going to hurt the animal, Brad glanced up at Deirdre.
"They actually let you get him ?"
"Yeah," she responded with a nod; there was no need to ask who Brad meant. "Not that
they had much choice, really. Not after I was attacked in my own apartment. I only had to
mention 'lawsuit' once..."
The attack had been the hot-topic in the building over the past week: how two intruders
had somehow gotten past the security door and then found their way to Deirdre's apartment,
breaking the lock on her door and, when she had unexpectedly been awake, physically attacking
her. If not for her neighbour hearing the scuffle, she might have received a lot more than a black
eye and a fat lip.
"Hey, you're gettin' my finger wet !" Kevin exclaimed with a giggle as Shep turned his
head to the side, stuck out his tiny tongue and began to lick one of the fingers behind him.
"How are you doing ?"
"You know: it's hard at night. I have to sleep with about half of the lights on..." She
kept her eyes averted as she answered Staci's question, as if embarrassed by her admission.
"Now that I've got Shep, though... hopefully I'll feel more at ease being alone."
"Oww !" Kevin's startled cry abruptly stopped the other's conversation. "Stop biting !"
Rising to his feet, Brad moved quickly over to stand by his brother - Kevin was beginning
to panic, closing his eyes as tears of terror began to spring from his eyes, not knowing how to
free his finger from Shep's mouth - placing one hand on Kevin's shoulder while with his other
he gently forced the puppy to loosen its grip, at the same time calmly speaking words of comfort.
"It's okay, Kev, he can't really hurt you. He's just playing. See, his teeth are too small.
See ? He didn't even break the skin."
Now that his finger was free, Kevin opened his eyes and looked down at it. Seeing that
the skin was not even broken - just like Brad had said; even the indentations of the tiny teeth
were rapidly fading - he looked up at his older brother with a strange mix of relief and
embarrassment on his face.
"Just playin'..."
With a loud sniffle, he looked back down at the bundle of fur in his arms - Shep was
looking quizzically from Brad to Kevin and back again.
"You's just playin...."
Taking his cue from the easing tone of Kevin's voice, Brad reached into his pocket,
pulled out a tissue and gently wiped the tears from his brother' face.
"He must be really hungry if he's trying to eat your finger," Deirdre interjected with
more than a hint of humour. "Why don't we go get him something good to eat, Kevin ? I've got
some biscuits over in my knapsack..."
"Okay !"
Turning from Brad and Staci, Kevin began to follow Deirdre to where her knapsack
miraculously still sat in the grass a short distance away; if not for Shep running away so quickly,
she never would have left her stuff sitting in the open, especially not after the recent attack she
had experienced.
"He doesn't seem like much of a guard dog." Staci observed as they watched them walk
across the grass.
"He's only a puppy, don't forget. I'm sure when he gets bigger those teeth of his will be
able to do some real damage." His eyes still following the departing group, Brad lowered
himself back down onto the grass beside Staci, who merely shrugged in answer to is comment.
Once the group had reached where the knapsack lay - Deirdre picked the bundle up and
began to root through it while Kevin continued to talk softly to Shep - Staci turned her attention
back to Brad.
"So... I haven't seen much of you or Kevin lately."
"Yeah, I know," as he answered, Brad turned his gaze from Kevin, Deirdre and Shep, and
reached for the half-finished can of pop sitting by the picnic basket. "I'm sorry. It's just that I -
we - we've been spending a lot of time with Chris."
"There's nothing to be sorry about," she reassured him. "In fact, I think it's great ! I'm
really happy for you !"
"It's nothing - we're just friends."
"Just friends, huh ? How many times have you gone out ?"
"Well, since that first time, we've gone to dinner two - no, three - more times, and a
movie about a month ago," he finally replied after thinking for a moment. "Other than that, we
usually just rent a movie and all get together at either her place or ours; maybe order a pizza or
some Chinese."
"Usually ?"
"Yeah, either Friday or Saturday evening. Sometimes both."
"Sounds like it's getting serious."
"I don't know about that..."
"Brad," Staci firmly cut him off, "if you're spending Friday or Saturday night together -
or both - and referring to it as 'usually,' than I think that counts as 'serious.'"
"That all depends on what you mean by 'serious.' Okay, yeah, so we spend a fair bit of
time together - and we really enjoy each other's company, all three of us - but we're just good
friends. That's all. Like the three of us: you, me and Kevin."
"It's not the same, and you know it. You just won't admit it to yourself..."
"Admit it ? Admit what to myself ? No, don't answer that. How about you ? What's
new in your life ?"
But Staci was not going to be put off, "Don't go changing the subject. We can talk about
me later. Have you kissed her any more ?"
"Staci ! That's none of your business !"
"Stop trying to avoid the subject. Just answer the question."
"Well... once or twice." Actually it was more than that; every night when they parted
they kissed. Just a quick touching of lips - more a brushing of lips, really - but a kiss
nevertheless.
"And how many times have we kissed ? Don't bother trying to count, I can tell you:
never. Not once. Not even on New Year's Eve."
"But we're friends..."
"See ? We're friends, and we don't kiss. Therefore, since you and Chris kiss, you must
be more than friends..."
As she had earlier, Staci burst out in laughter as Brad's face took on a confused, but
highly humourous, expression as he tried to follow her logic.
"Okay, we'll change the subject," she at last conceded with one final laugh. "I'm doing
good. Real good. In fact, I've been thinking I might be able to start going when college starts in
a couple weeks, instead of in January..."
"That's great, Staci !"
"I'll still have to work a couple more months to make sure I've got enough for all three
years, but I figure I'll be able to stop completely by Christmas."
"That's really great. I... I'm... I don't know what to say..."
Not finding any words to adequately express his gladness, Brad reached out and enfolded
her in his arms, hugging her tight.
"Hey," Staci said after a moment, pulling away. "Careful, we're friends, don't forget..."
"Can we get a puppy like Deirdre ? Like Shep ?" He had known the question was coming, but he was surprised that Kevin had been able to
contain himself as long as he had - almost a full hour.
Raising his glance from the pasta he was laying out in the casserole dish - he had
borrowed it from Staci after they had returned from their picnic in the park - Brad gave his
brother a warm smile, while at the same time shaking his head compassionately.
"You know we can't, Kev..."
"Why not ?" Kevin quickly cut him off, his voice taking on the same tone he used when
he wanted to watch a cartoon when Brad wanted to watch the News. "Deirdre's got one !"
"That's different, Kev..."
"But why ?"
"Kevin."
That one word - forceful, but somehow at the same time sympathetic - caused the
younger brother to lower his head and stick out his lower lip in shame. The only time Brad ever
called him by his full name was either when he was being particularly difficult or there was
something important Brad wanted to say; he instinctively knew which case this was.
"I sor-ry, Brad..." the tears were plainly evident in the hitch of his throat. "I won't ask
again..."
"Kev, look at me."
His only response was a sullen shake of his head and a barely controlled sniffle.
"Kevin." Brad repeated, more firmly. "Look at me."
It took a moment, but slowly he brought his head up so that his eyes could meet his
brother's. There was fear there, Brad saw. Not the kind which had been there whenever he had
looked at their father - the fear of the inevitable blow - but fear that he had somehow displeased
his older sibling.
Reaching out, Brad placed one hand comfortingly on Kevin's shoulder. "It's okay, Kev.
You didn't do anything wrong."
"Brad's mad at me..." he sobbed softly as he again lowered his eyes and pulled his
shoulder free of his brother's touch.
"I'm not mad..."
"Yes you is..."
"I'm not, Kev. Honest. Never - at you." The sight of Kevin standing in the kitchen with
his head down, close to tears, caused his own voice to hitch slightly.
"It just that... Kev, you know I'd do anything for you. But... we can't get a puppy. It just
wouldn't be fair to him. Not in an apartment..."
"Deirdre's got Shep," Kevin countered, his eyes still fixed firmly on the floor.
"Yes, that's true - Deirdre has Shep. But you know why, don't you ?"
"Yeah," Kevin finally admitted after shuffling one foot along the tile floor for a second.
"She was attacked..."
"That's right, she was attacked. And that's why she has Shep - so that she'll be safe."
As Brad watched, Kevin lifted one large hand from his side and used the back of it to
wipe at his nose and then at the moistness under his eyes. With a tentative smile, he looked up
at his brother.
"And I got Brad to keep me safe."
"And you've got Brad..."
Before he could say anything else, Kevin had moved in close and wrapped him in his
arms, hugging him tight.
"I'll tell you what, though," he went on when they finally broke apart. "First thing
tomorrow, I'll go talk to Deirdre. I'm sure she'd let you visit with Shep; maybe she'll even let
us take care of him some Sunday..."
"You think she would ?" Excited expectation was now plain where before there had
been sullenness.
"I can't see why not."
Again he found himself entangled in his brother's arms.
"You're the best, Brad !"
"Okay Kev, that's enough." As he spoke, he gently broke free of Kevin's grasp. "You had
better go wash up while I finish making supper. Chris'll be here soon, and we don't want her to
starve while we wait for the lasagna to cook, do we ?"
"'course not."
And just like that, he was gone. No argument, no hesitation. Off to the bathroom where
Brad could already hear the water beginning to run.
Turning back to the counter where the casserole dish sat, he reached out for another strip
of pasta.
I hope Deirdre will let Kev visit; I'd hate to have to tell him he couldn't... Of course she
will, he thought with a shake of his head. She likes Kev as much as I love her...
The strip of pasta fell from his numb fingers and into the dish, overlapping the previous
strips at a skewered angle.
Him, he corrected himself. As much as I love him.
Even as he thought it, though, he realized the truth of his slip: he did love her.
Chris...
An Explanation |
The Smile of a Clown |
The Best of Friends |
The Party |
Gentle Rain |
And Other Things... |
A Forever Moment |
The Good Place |
Memories of Farewell |
A Dream So Sweet |
Empty Silence
1.
