Have you heard the story about the opposite twins? One was a complete pessimist and the other an eternal optimist. The parents were amazed how in any situation when the one son would complain, the other would see only good.

A researcher from the local college heard about the twins and thought they would be ideal subjects for a psychological study. The boy who was a pessimist was shown into an observation room full of toys of every kind. No sooner was the door shut when he began to throw the toys against the walls. Smashing, stomping, and wrenching, he wasn't finished until he had broken every toy in the room.

When he was escorted out, the pessimist was asked by the researcher, "Why did you break the toys?"

The pessimist answered, "When I saw all those toys, I knew they'd never be mine, and I didn't want some other kid to get them, so I broke them."

The researcher tried a different tack with the optimistic twin. He was shown into a room full of manure. The boy's eyes lit up and he dove into the pile, flinging it in every direction. The researcher, wondering if he'd made a grave error, interrupted the flinging fest and asked, "What are you doing?"

The boy said, "With all this poop, there's got to be a pony somewhere in there."
 

Attitude, Not Achievement

This is attributed to Abraham Lincoln: "Most folks are about as happy as they set their minds to be." Happiness isn't an event that occurs in your life or mine. It's the result of our actions and attitudes about what happens along the way.

In harsh circumstances as a prisoner of war, Viktor Frankl learned that he was responsible to choose his own attitude. In the book, "Man's Search for Meaning" he wrote, "Everything can be taken from a man but ... the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."

Benjamin Franklin said, "Happiness is produced not so much by great pieces of good fortune that seldom happen as by little advantages that occur every day." If we look at joy as a final destination we will never arrive there. It is a journey we have to enjoy along the way.

Happiness is an acquired attitude, and attitudes are formed out of habit. Habits can be changed by consistent, concentrated effort over time. We really do have power over our efforts, habits and ultimately over our own happiness. Lets look at some of the perspectives that enhance our well being.
 

Finding Happiness

The writer of Proverbs counsels, "Whoso trusteth in the Lord, happy is he." After washing the disciples' feet and teaching them about service, Jesus said, "If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them." These are two specific paths that will increase our joy and well being: trusting God and serving our fellowman.

Often in the scriptures, we are told "Be of good cheer." I don't think the Lord wants us to hang our heads and morosely kick at rocks. Happiness comes from meaningful existence. And as Franklin noted, we can enjoy simple pleasures rather than wait around for one grand event to change our lives.

One main concern is our outlook. Look for positives. Like the twin who was an optimist, whatever our situation may be, we may as well find out what benefits we can gain from the experience.

It sounds simplistic, but each of us can choose our own mood. Life is like Priceline.com. We name our own price on happiness. There are as many miserable people in fortunate situations as there are happy people in unpleasant circumstances. Our "subjective well-being" is how we interpret the events in our lives.

Most people have a happiness "set-point." Whether fortune smiles down on them for a time, or tragedy befalls them, eventually their mood will gravitate back to the usual state. Contrary to popular belief, circumstances don't have much long-term bearing on well-being.

"The road to happiness," said John Rockefeller III, "lies in two simple principles: find what interests you and that you can do well, and put your whole soul into it - every bit of energy and ambition and natural ability you have." A positive self image is gained through setting your sights on attainable goals and reaching them. Unrealistic expectations, on the other hand, are roadmaps to misery.

Expectations have a lot to do with fulfillment in life. An employee who expects a big bonus or raise and gets substantially less is bound to be disappointed. On the other hand, someone who receives an unexpected pleasant surprise, no matter how small, is able to enjoy the moment.

Each of us has a relative view of our own situation. It doesn't help to compare ourselves with others to see if they have it better. In our discontent, we compare our worst traits against imaginary ideal traits in others. Such views are bound to be distorted. The only meaningful comparison we can make is our progress beyond our own selves.

You've heard me say before that service is the best cure for depression. It's in the Savior's words. When we attend to someone else's needs, we stop focusing on our own concerns. Helping others in your church, neighborhood or community will bring your heart to a healthier, happier perspective.

Meaningful activity is important. Whether it's building our spirituality, developing our relationship with God, caring for loved ones, creating something worthwhile or pursuing education, significant efforts boost our levels of joy and satisfaction. Clearly our spirits are lifted when we balance our attention between the things that matter most.

And don't forget the value of little things. Small talk with friends and family, exercise, gardening, woodworking, enjoying a good read or walking in nature are just a few cures to brighten life in bite-size moments.
 

Be True To Yourself

Happiness has a lot to do with the congruity between our values and our actions. A lot of our self-discontent comes from the disparity between our beliefs and our conduct.

Resolve any inner conflicts under which you might be suffering. Wickedness never was happiness. The burden of unrepented sin weights a guilty soul. Having a conscience void of offense to God and men brings peace of mind. Abraham Lincoln said, "It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels he is worthy of himself and claims kindred to the great God who made him."

Neglected obligations might get in the way of personal happiness. Face whatever might be burdening you. Pay debt or make -- and keep -- a schedule to meet your obligations. Live providently and save for future needs.

Don't be overwhelmed by all the ideas presented. Find little joys each day. Try one thing at a time, and give yourself credit for little triumphs along the way.
 
 

Reading Shelf

THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS:
Discovering the Pathway to Fulfillment,
Well-Being, and Enduring Personal Joy

by David G. Myers

From a nationally prominent psychology professor and the author of the bestselling textbook Psychology comes "an entertaining scientific study of well-being" (Peter Gorner, Chicago Tribune). Using numerous anecdotes, Myers reveals the common factors happy people share.
 
 

LEARNED OPTIMISM

by Martin E. P. Seligman

Martin Seligman has been studying optimists and pessimists for decades. Pessimists believe that bad events are their fault, will last a long time, and undermine everything. They feel helpless and may sink into depression, which is epidemic today, especially among youths. Optimists, on the other hand, believe that defeat is a temporary setback or a challenge -- it doesn't knock them down. "Pessimism is escapable," asserts Seligman, by learning a new set of cognitive skills that will enable you to take charge, resist depression, and make yourself feel better and accomplish more. He teaches how to choose optimism--thereby gaining an essential new freedom to build a life of real rewards and lasting fulfillment.
 
 
 

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