When a loved one has betrayed our trust, the resulting heartbreak is profound. Shock is followed by grief, disappointment and sadness. One-sided commitment, infidelity, deception and abuse are some of the tragedies that cause anguish to countless, innocent victims. Families are broken, relationships damaged and lives are destroyed. Many men have broken their wives' tender hearts and lost their children's confidence. Their heart cries ascend to God, and many hearts die, pierced with deep wounds. The loss of faith may cause emotional scars which, if left untreated, might hinder the victims' ability to trust and love again.

A part of the disappointment of betrayal in love is the lost emotional investment--the stronger the love, the greater the loss. For whatever reasons people break up, the intensity of emotions corresponds to the perception of loss. Two mature individuals may separate amiably and still suffer emotional hurt. Whoever said, "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved" has never experienced love nor loss.

By its nature, grief is both intense and short-lived. Our adversity and affliction, though large in presence, last but a small moment in eternal perspectives. Eventually shock diminishes, but unaddressed resentment may build up with compound interest. Although anger is occasionally appropriate, being human, we rarely apply our fury righteously. To harbor ill feelings for another only cankers one's own soul. We should seek the healing balm instead.

Profound grief, such as the tragic loss of a loved one, can be debilitating if loved ones aren't around to provide support and comfort. But even in tragedy, human character is resilient, gaining refinement through adverse circumstances, with divine ability to heal over time.

How can a broken heart be healed?

Acceptance of your circumstances doesn't mean resigning to them. It merely acknowledges the situation, so that you can then move on. The vital next step is to forgive. Forgiveness is the soul-saving action that will help you and your loved ones heal. In Shakespeare's "Merchant of Venice," Portia says, "The quality of mercy ... is twice blesse'd; it blesseth him that gives and him that takes." The offender needs forgiveness to bring about an eventual change of heart. The offended needs to forgive for the needed healing of the soul. An unforgiving victim stands under the greater condemnation, because his or her progress remains blocked. Until we let go of resentment and unholy feelings, we can never attain to higher realms of spiritual growth.

Leave judgment to God. The victim may stand in the best position to condemn the offender. But the victim also stands in the best place to give mercy. That doesn't mean standing in the way of peril. Flee from real danger, and protect your loved ones from harm.

God forgives perfectly. As we sincerely repent, amend and forsake wrongs we've committed, He has the divine ability to forget our sins. His forgiveness is absolute. In His love, there are no human shortcomings of stored resentment or keeping a running tally of past repented wrongs. We need to learn from God's perfect love and learn to forgive as He does. We can't do that on our own. We need to pray for change of heart.

Suffering serves several purposes toward our growth. Our existence consists of learning through our own experience the contrasts between good and evil, happiness and heartache. Our experience is meant to help us grow and progress. We don't need to question God's omnipotence or compassion. We need to understand that God's purpose for each of us is to learn the lessons of mortality we would never understand as spirits in His presence: joy and pain, happiness and disappointment, sickness and health.

Everyone needs healing. The true balm of healing is forgiveness. Christ's atonement reaches to broken hearts, to loved ones who have been hurt or who have hurt, to damaged relationships and to innocent lives that have been harmed. God gives comfort through His Holy Spirit. He sees our adversity with compassion, but also with patient perspective that sees the end of the meaningful journey. Here we have the opportunity to transcend the trials of life toward continued progress and growth.
 
 
 

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