I had weightloss surgery Monday 9/25 and I just filled out a members survey in the files section of a group I just joined and one of the questions kinda brought on this rant, may not be the best How-do-ya-do but it is real and honest and I wanted to share. - Your worst experience with WLS as a post-op so far: profound depression, I wish they would mention it, in the many seminars I went to Post-op, not that it would have deterred me because like most I am sure "I" will be different and I am not, the only thing I can compare it to, this depression, is Post pardon depression (having never given birth) So I have worked so far, so hard, I lost 30lbs...... for this "thing" now it done and over so what do I do with it, I am sick, tired, I hurt, I am bloated, and my best friend(food) is taunting me: deep fried green beans, angus burgers and Lasagna pizza, as I suck down my low carb high protein shake served ice cold so it is bearable. I do not know or understand what came over me and I do NOT regret my decision for the surgery but I feel this loss, this overwhelming loss, my friend, my lover, my drug of choice is Ben & Jerry's. I know in reality my world is not falling apart, I do have friends, I have other constructive outlets besides eating, and I will eat all the foods I love again, some day, but knowing these things offers me no real comfort and I do not know why? I try to take solace in knowing "this to shall pass" but when is my question. I am hot or soooo cold, tired, bloated, I feel full so full, grossly-ate-everything-at-the-buffet full, I feel like I have been sucker punched in the belly, I desperately want to sleep on my belly and I miss my friend.

I am taking care of myself lots of fluids, (sip, sip, sip,)protein, diet tea, water, broth, I have been walking 30 minutes a day and I have been journalizing, taking my naps, walking my dogs and talking on the phone incessantly with my friends ( who I think are waiting for me slit my wrists, which I never would, who would take care of all my reptiles? some of this is tongue and cheek and some is very real. I made the mistake of moving 3 hours away from my friends 2 months before my surgery because I thought I needed my mommy and my daddy, which I do, but not as much I think, as I need the people who really get me, so I am seeking people out who may have had similar experiences. I am not a raving maniac or a twisted soul just a girl who one day wants to have babies, ride a bike and take a bath and still have room for water in the tub.