I feel trapped by you. You told me you loved me but you never loved me enough. You held me and cried for me and made me feel special once, but that is the past and this is the now. You are jealous and angry and manipulative and exploitive. You say mean things and you hurt my feelings. You talk to me like I am dumb, and make me feel like a whore. You hold on because you are afraid to let go, you say you are my friend, my friends, the real ones love me for me and for my faults not despite of them. I told you 4 years ago the person I was bisexual, sexual and a non-Christian and 4+ years later it is because of that you can’t love me. You are not man enough to come clean to your family(your church) to admit you fell down, you are not perfect as you lead everyone to believe. You keep me a secret, you lead a double life, I never met your mother or your friends and I wasn’t allowed to call you at work or see you there. You would come play house.

You are arrogant, and you are a liar and a hypocrite, yet you judge me for being promiscuous and irresponsible. I am who I am and I make no excuses for my faults and I am not living a lie.

You never shared yourself with me, not all of you. I gave to you my heart and my life and my love and you only took the pieces you wanted. One time you gave me hope and kindness but that is not the now. You rule me with mind games, shame and guilt. You are not my friend, you cling to me now because you don’t want to lose me, but you don’t love me enough to keep me and I need you to let me go. It hurts to much, to have you as my part time love. Let me go.