Brothers Reunited

If God can forgive me and this nation for what we and they did to these great men, just maybe they would still be here with me to talk and laugh like we did in Nam; talking about the girls we all left behind. To grieve and cry - that is the only way I could forgive the USA for what we all went through. Then maybe I could live without guilt. Then maybe I could understand why I lost so many great friends and Brothers.

So please, God, help me to understand why all this could happen the way it did; which I do not understand and cannot believe this great nation of ours would have let this happen.

I sit here at 0500 hours in the morning! Not being able to sleep for dreams and images that I have had for the last 30 years. Hell and Torment, wanting to be on The Wall with my Brothers. I was shot in DaNang 9 times in my arm and leg and when I came home I was a "son of sam" for being a Vietnam Veteran! When I was in Nam, I was so proud of fighting for my Country, but when I came home, I was treated like I was so stupid to go fight a war that we all knew we couldn't win. Have all good men there given their lives for nothing? Just to give up & come home like we did?

Now it is 30 years later and I am still having nightmares from Vietnam. One of the biggest things I did not understand is that they did not call it a war until years after it was over. This was so wrong for them to call it a police action. If so, then can you tell me why we lost so many good men on a police action? Police do not get shot at and told not to shoot back. I was at PhuBai on land and was told if I saw where the fire was coming from, to return fire.

Well, I did just that and was smacked upside my head by a S/SGT. with his helmet. I saw where the sniper fire was coming from and returned fire; knowing I killed the sniper. But I was told that I had just shot 80 of my own men, which I found out later was so very untrue. This incident happened at night. The next morning, I awoke to find all the platoon had pulled out and left me. I had gotten drunk the night before when this incident was over. I had been left behind cause I was drunk, and they tried to wake me without success. One man stayed behind to help me find my way back. He was a radio man. If not for this man, I would still be there. So here and now, I thank you, BROTHER!

So, because of this I have lived with guilt all these years; not knowing whether I had shot my men or not. Why was I not killed too, and please, why did God not let me die with them; or was this to be my punishment? Living with all the guilt of something that didn't even happen!

Well, I am here now on my way to The Wall to ask my Brothers for their forgiveness in not being there for them. Letting them die alone and being left behind to suffer. If not for a BROTHER, JOHN ADAMS, to be here to help me come to this place so I can ask them to forgive me, please, I would still be just another Nam vet in torture for what he couldn't do for his fellow brothers. God forgive me, PLEASE!

Theodore Brown

Ruben Bell, Jr.

John Robert Murphy

Jonathan Nathaniel Spicer

David Lee Davis

James Wisdom Bowling

Edgar Armstrong Smith

Bernard Vincent

Darrell Condie Mizner

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