Song Playing: Holding back the Tears

Tears On My Keyboard

Why is it that some of us are so lost inside ourselves?  The pain and torment that we have lived with for so many years is finally taking its toll.  When I first got a computer, it was during a horrible time of my life.  My son had just committed suicide, my husband has PTSD from Vietnam, I had just tried suicide, and then; all at once here are people in this amazing little box that just started caring from the very beginning.

My first contact was with Lois and John Adams.  I could never say enough about this couple who have survived a life full of heartaches as we all have.  The difference with them is their strength and faith in others.  They made me see that life is not always going to be what we expect.  For every good there is bad, for every laugh, there is sadness.  The difference was in how we decide to handle these situations.

We had the chance to go and visit Lois and John this last October.  What a blessed time we had.  We were also able to go to The Wall for our very first time.  I would like to say now, "Thank you, Lois and John, for without you, Jim would have never been able to face the demons that met him that day.  The courage it took for John to do this was tremendous.  We cannot make graphics or awards to give but we have given to them what we thought was just as good.  They shall always have our friendship and love.

The biggest change in my life was brought forth by Dave Jones.  A Combat Veteran, like my own husband, could see from my words how devastated Jim and I were over the loss of our son.  He has made it possible to live with that fact.  He has shown us that Jamie's life is still living on for others as well as ourselves.  Dave, I can't thank you enough for your willingness, caring, and sharing of your life as well to help bring us to the point where we are now.  Our website would not be where it is now without the help of Dave Jones and Jausten (Graphics).  Thank you, Dave and Jausten, for all your help.

I guess what I am trying to get across to others is that you don't have to be afraid to reach out for someone or to take the hand someone is offering you!  It will make all the difference in the world. THE most important part of our learning has been that after all these years of Jim suffering alone, he now has the BROTHERHOOD that has been missing since leaving Vietnam.  OORAH!!

God Bless the Vets!  Without these heroes, there would be no FREEDOM.

God Bless the people who have touched our lives in the past few months.  We thank you all for the support you have given us.

And Dave, we shall always keep our Angels close by.  They are the inspiration and hope for showing us the future and letting us know that God is always there.

Lonewolf (Wanda) & Jimmie Alexander...
Our Love and Thanks

Tears on my Pillow

Why does his anger from thirty years ago
Slam me down and leave me so low
Pain and hurt, how much more can one take
Please, dear God......Let my soul awake.

Take from me this burden I bear
Seeing confusion and lost trust everywhere
For thirty three years I have given my life
Striving to be the very best wife.

Leave, he says, get out of my home
Knowing in my heart he doesn't want to be alone
How we do struggle with the demons from hell
Here I sit praying, Lord, please make him well.

Seeing how much Nam has taken from him
Seeing our twilight years slowly dim
God, I pray, please give me the strength
To follow the course of our lives it's full length.

Never, ever, would I give up and leave
For love has taught me in him I believe
Quiet time now while feelings subside
Anger and confusion....All these I must hide.

Help and forgiveness are what Jimmie needs
No matter how hard that my heart does bleed
I would barter my soul to be like we once were
To have and to hold.....All things to endure.

Wanda (Lonewolf) 11-10-98

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