| Dark Helmet: "You have the ring, and I see your schwartz is as big as mine" |
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| Dark Helmet: "Come back you fat, bearded B**ch!" |
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| Dark Helmet: "Say goodbye to your two best friends, and I don't mean your pals in the Winnebago" |
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| Dark Helmet: "My brains are going into my feet! |
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| Dark Helmet: (Sounds of choked breathing) "I can't breath in this thing!" |
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Crnl. Sanders: "Sir, hadn't you better buckle up?" Dark Helmet: "Ah, buckle this!" |
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| Dark Helmet: "What's the matter Crnl. Sanders?? Chicken???" |
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Dark Helmet: :"Princess Vespa, at last I have you in my clutches, to have my way with you, the way I want to." Dark Helmet: (as Vespa) "No! No! Please! Leave me alone!" Dark Helmet: "No! you are mine!" Dark Helmet: (as LoneStar) "Not so fast Helmet!" Dark Helmet: "Lone Star!" Dark Helmet (as LoneStar) "Yes, it's me, I'm here to save my girlfriend.. Hi Honey!" |
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Dark Helmet: "Princess Vespa, at last, we are alone." Dark Helmet: (as Vespa) "uh! no! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! Leave me alone! Yet, i find you strangely attractive." Dark Helmet: "Of course you do, Drewish princesses are often attracted to money, and power, and i have both. And you know it." |
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Dark Helmet: (As Vespa) "Uh, leave me alone!" Dark Helmet: "No! Kiss me!" Dark Helmet: (As Vespa) "No! No! Yes! No! Dark Helmet: "No!" Dark Helmet (As Vespa) "Yes! No! Yes! uh! uh! uh! uh! uh! uhh! uhhhh! uhhhhhhhhh! Your helmet is so big!" |
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Crnl. Sanders: "Lord Helmet!" Dark Helmet: "WHAT!?!? Crnl. Sanders: "You're needed on the bridge, sir." Dark Helmet: "KNOCK ON MY DOOR! KNOCK NEXT TIME! Crnl Sanders: "Yes Sir!" Dark Helmet: "DID YOU SEE ANYTHING?!? Crnl. Sanders: "No Sir, I didn't see you playing with your dolls again!" Dark Helmet: "GOOD!" |
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| Dark Helmet: "If there is one thing I despise, it is a fair fight" |
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| Dark Helmet: "Now you will see, that evil will always triumph, because good, is dumb" |
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Dark Helmet: "Lets get moving" Crew member: "Yes sir, prepare to move out." Dark Helmet: "What are you preparing?? You're always preparing! JUST GO!" Crew Member: "Just go." |
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Dark Helmet: What the hell am I looking at?... When does this happen in the movie? Crnl. Sandurz: Now, You're looking at now sir...Everything that happens now is happening now. Dark Helmet: What happened to then? Crnl. Sandurz: We passed it. Dark Helmet:When. Crnl. Sandurz:Just now... We're at now now. Dark Helmet: Go back to then? Crnl. Sandurz: When? Dark Helmet: Now. Crnl.Sandurz: Now? Dark Helmet: Now. Crnl. Sandurz:I can't Dark Helmet: Why? Crnl. Sandurz: We missed it. Dark Helmet: When? Crnl. Sandurz: Just now. Dark Helmet: When will then be now? Crnl. Sandurz: Soon! Dark Helmet: How soon? Technician: Sir! Dark Helmet: What? Technician: We've identified their location! Dark Helmet: Where? Technician: It's the moon of Vega Crnl. Sandurz: Good work. Set a course and prepare for our arrival Dark Helmet: When? Technician: Nineteen hundred hours, sir! Crnl. Sandurz: By high noon tomorrow they will be our prisoners! Dark Helmet: WHO?!?! [Face mask falls in front of face] |
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"Crnl. Sanders: Out of order?!" Dark Helmet: "F**k. Even in the future nothing works!" |
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Dark Helmet: "I'll call Spaceball City and notify President Skroob immediately Crew Member: "I already called him sir. He knows everything." Dark Helmet: "WHAT? You went over my helmet?" Crew Member: "Well, not exactly over, sir. m-m-more to the side." |
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Dark Helmet: "Put 'er there." (struggle as DH slips the ring off of LS's finger.) Dark Helmet: "The Ring! I can't believe you fell for the oldest trick in the book! What a goof! What's with you man! c'mon! |
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| Dark Helmet: "You have the ring, and I see your schwartz is as big as mine" |
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Dark Helmet: "I am your father's, brother's, nephew's, cousin's former roommate" Lone Star: "What's that make us?" Dark Helmet: "Absolutely Nothing!" |
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| Dark Helmet: "LUDICROUS SPEED! GO!" |
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| Dark Helmet: "Sh*t. I hate it when I get my schwartz twisted" |
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Dark Helmet: (lifts mask) "She's not in there!" Technician: "Radar repaired sir. We're picking up the out-line of a....Winnebago." Dark Helmet: "Winnebago..? Lone Star. LONE STAR!" (door closes in on DH's head) |
R23C2 | R23C3 |
| R24C1 | R24C2 | R24C3 |