Men are like.....Coffee. The best ones are rich, warm, full-bodied, and can keep you up all night long.

Men are like.....Cement. After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.

Men are like....Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

Men are like.....Blenders. You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

Men are like.....Coolers. Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

Men are like....Copiers. You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

Men are like.....Curling irons. They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.

Men are like.....Government bonds. They take so long to mature.

Men are like.....High heels. They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

Men are like.....Horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Men are like.....Lawn Mowers. If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it.

Men are like....Lava lamps. Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

Men are like....Laxatives. They irritate the shit out of you.

Men are like.....Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like.....Mini skirts. If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs.

Men are like.....Noodles. They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.

Men are like.....Parking spots. The good ones are already taken and the ones that are left are handicapped or extremely small.

Men are like.....Plungers. They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.

Men are like.....Popcorn. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Men are like.....Placemats. They only show up when there's food on the table.

Men are like.....Snowstorms. You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get or how long he will last.

Men are like.....Used Cars. Both are easy-to-get, cheap, and unreliable.

Men are like.....Vacations. They never seem to be long enough.

Men are like.....Weather. Nothing can be done to change either one of them.

1999 Nick Boice
Sent in by josh Kincaid.