CRACKHEAD'S RETELLINGS
Karcher vs. The Mall...by Lt. Matt Nodine
As I was one of the few candidates with a POV, Pelzer/Karcher/Philpotts/Keplinger and I ended up doing most of the Platoon shopping and errands. To avoid a reasonably forseen episode of Pelzer killing off Karcher and Keplinger for the ability to ride shotgun, I instituted the "you cannot call shotgun until I am outside" rule. It worked great. We came out of the movie theater the weekend of our first liberty and I had forgotten the rule so I didn't realize that Pelzer, Philpotts and Keplinger were poised beside the 8 mall theater doors blocking people from exiting until I was outside. Karcher, seeing that he was 20' behind, shouts "Marine Corps" and doubletimes it to the door to time my exit with his. He hits the LOCKED door facefirst causing every person within 200' to feel the concussion, bounces back several feet and while we were all standing there amazed and in shock, sprints around to the opposite side where the door was open (about 20') and still beats everyone outside and calls shotgun. Mall 1, Karcher 0. Karcher vs. The Mall Round 2... by Lt. Matt Nodine/Cpl. Keplinger/LCpl. Pelzer
A group of about a dozen of us went to Olive Garden Liberty Week 6. We had a nice meal, lots of food and loud conversation. As he was known to do, Karcher began dozing off. After repeatedly waking him up only to have him fall back asleep, we gave up, paid our bills and left him asleep at the table. The table sat 12 people and he was sitting there all alone with approximately 25 other patrons laughing. After waiting by the window for about 5 minutes, we finally asked the waitress to wake him up... he sheepishly reappeared about a minute later. Mall 2 Karcher 0 Company Gunnery Sergeant Geletko and Delotel...by Third Platoon
'nuff said.
Candidate Sloppy vs. Plt. Sgt. SSgt. B. T. Williams III and the Quantico Dry Cleaners ... by Scott Schork
Picture this... Platoon Sergeant's Inspection. Candidate Kurtz. Performs 'inspection arms' (almost drops the weapon). Plt. Sgt. SSgt. Williams checks the weapon, asks a question and then begins checking to see that all of Candidate Kurtz' buttons are properly secured. From the left breast pocket falls the largest clods of dirt and dust anyone has ever seen. An astounded Platoon Sergeant halts his inspection and goes to get Capt. Dobes and Comp. Gny. Sgt. Gny. Sgt. Geletko... Candidate Nodine is standing right beside Kurtz and Schork right in front Kurtz. Thought the roof was going to fall in when Kurtz informed Gny. Sgt. Geletko that he had the blouse drycleaned that prior weekend and hadn't worn the blouse since. Kurtz was KIA shortly thereafter. QDC/SSgt. Williams 1, Kurtz 0 for forever...