Hello Friends!

For Those of you who know me I need no introduction but for those very few and unpriviledged individuals who don't know me I am Eli, aka fecal matter boy, aka crazy horse,aka BIG E, aka idiot, aka El Cornholio en espanol, aka wierd guy, aka Jorge Benvinitez III. This is, of course, an intro Helecopter and what better way to introduce my self then to start with my birth.

Well I was born in a humble little shack off the coast of the french riviera in Gaudalupe, Nebraska. 'Twas a fine winter morn in the midst of summer. I was the smartest child in the second grade that day and by three years of age could play the bass guitar and multiply 1233856459393 by 848422292948482 in my head already! The next day I was taught falconry by the not-so-famous instructor Malard Happerinesstovitanopolymorphithus. The next day my skills surpassed his. This skill too has been forgoten. For the next 134 years I veged out in front of what you now call the "Television" but, then is was called the "Swingin' Hipnopolopski" That name was also used to discribe my in my younger years.

After that I was sent off to Boarding camp and now am the sanely insane soul you read before you. Well thats my story, Whats yours? I want to know, I care, I want to suck the knowledge out of your puny little heads. For if knowledge is power than I am a rook!!! And you are the rook's food!!!

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