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What is a real Army SGT?

1. Can cuss for ten minutes without ever repeating a word.
2. Has a spine.
3. Can play a cherry LT like a finely tuned instrument.
4. Can see in the dark.
5. Has eyes in the back of his head.
6. Still doesn’t trust the Russians.
7. Still hates the French.
8. Doesn’t know how to be politically correct.
9. Doesn’t give a damn about being political correct.
10. Thinks that “politically correct” should fall under “sodomy” in the UCMJ.
11. Loves deployments because there is less paperwork and more “real work”.
12. Can run 4 miles with a hangover.
13. Doesn’t fear women in the military.
14. Would actually like to date “GI Jane”.
15. Still knows how to use a buffer.
16. Can tell you everything you want to know about the M1911A1
17. Believes that they do have a rendezvous with destiny.
18. Believes that “Nuts” wasn’t all that BG McAuliffe said to the Germans at Bastogne.
19. Don’t know how to use a stress card.
20. Idolizes John Wayne.
21. Doesn’t believe that AAFES needs a commander.
22. Can remember how to PMCS a jeep.
23. Would have paid money to see Custer getting his clock cleaned by the Indians.
24. Really doesn’t like to take shit from someone that hasn’t “been there”.
25. Knows how to properly dig a field latrine.
26. Knows how to do a daisy chain.
27. Knows that a daisy chain is not a sex act.
28. Might admire the Germans, but realizes that they still got their asses kicked.
29. Aren’t afraid of the Chinese, who probably don’t have enough rowboats to invade Taiwan.
30. Would rather be OPFOR that in MOPP 4.
31. Doesn’t believe a damn thing the Iraqis say.
32. Doesn’t need a GPS to find themselves.
33. Has enough BDUS in their closets to start a surplus store.
34. Thinks that MREs actually taste good with a little hot sauce added.
35. Is convinced that “wall-to-wall” counseling really works.
36. Has more time on the frontline than most others have in the chowline.
37. Knows how to make coffee when the measuring scoop goes missing.
38. Knows that it is not good coffee if you can see though it.
39. Doesn’t blame poor marksmanship on their M-16.
40. Knows that inept leaders will always say they have inept soldiers.