i.c.spots

Oh, woe is me! Oh, woe! Oh, woe!
Whenever will they stop the "O?"
"DALMATIAN!" - the spelling is only with "A"s!
Like "aardvark," "acacia" and "alackadays."

There's Webster's Collegiate and Wagnall with Funk,
Yet dog writers spell it as if they were drunk.
I learned, "I before E, except after C,"
But there's no spelling rule for a Dal pedigree.

Typographers tell me the "A" is prettier,
It certainly makes this ditty dittier.
Compared to "O," the "A" is hotter:
An appropriate letter for the breed that's a spotter.

That Disney named Walt filmed Dalmatians to fame,
Folks buy the cartoon but still misspell the name.
Maybe spelling with "O" means you're old as gavottes,
If so, get thee hence from my world full of spots!

Vice President Quayle needed spelling bee help,
(Does he know my Dal's single and a bitch in whelp?)
Murphy Brown with a Dal? Her last name needs a liver,
If she holds out for black, the standard'll forgive her.

Why "A"s and not "O"s in "Dalmatian" you query?
'Cause they're needed for use elsewhere and here is why, dearie:
Take the misspelling "O" and what have you got
After filling it in? You guessed it! A SPOT!

EPILOGUE

"Dalmatian!" "Dalmatians!" Won't you now spell them right,
So I can calm down and lay back and at last sleep the nyght.