I've got some stories to tell! In September '99, I escaped twice. This was during our walks in a nearby field. The first time, I made a mad dash for the bushes that line the pond and Jay couldn't get me in time. So he spent 2 hours crawling around these prickly bushes (wearing shorts & sandals) trying to get me until he lost me. So he went home and I thought I was free!

So I crawled up a small tree (my mistake) and perched on a limb.... then who do I see approaching wearing jeans & boots carrying a broom? Yep, the idiot is coming back this time bringing a friend. Haha, much to their dismay, they still didn't see me! Buffoons! Then right before Jay was about to give up, he happened to look up from the ground he was crawling on and he spotted me.

He went to get his friend to keep an eye on me while Jay went around behind me. I tried to climb higher on the tree but "whap!" next thing I knew I was sitting in the idiot's hand with his other holding my tail. Dumb jerk. I'll tell the other story later... read more of my escapades below.


Ok, here's some good ones (all 100% true). One year ago I jumped off the 8ft ledge around the kitchen onto Jay's head. Ripped a nice 3" gash in his forehead that's left a permanant scar. A week later I attacked him and split his left earlobe leaving another scar. Last May, I jumped out the front window of Jay's new apartment while he was at work. I ripped open the screen... and jumped out the 2nd story apartment. If it wasn't for all the damn kids I would've gotten away before Jay got home. For some reason I think my greens are another Iguana so I must attack them each time Jay feeds me. I am bad.

Right now, Jay's apartment is MY APARTMENT... I have claimed a 20ft radius around my habitat as all MINE! I still love bananas (yeah, I know they're bad for me but YUM!) which he feeds me with a fork and the field next to the cop shop where I get to play outside (man, what's up with this cold weather??!!). My dislikes are my evil twin, Jay, the Sock Monkey, and Jay... mirrors are evil.