Doggie Commandments

Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the modem.
Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.
Thou shalt not eat the modem, telephone cord or other computer components.
Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll and proceed to eat it.
Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or monitor as if thou are transparent.
Thou shalt not attack cats on the TV screen.
Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy behind.
Thou shalt not lie down with thy behind in thy human's face.
Fast as thou art, thou cannot run through closed doors.
Thou shalt not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it.
Thou shalt not climb on the garbage can with the hinged lid, as thou wilt fall in and trap         thyself.
Thou shalt not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.
Thou shalt not drinketh of said toilet then offer kisses to your human.
Thou shalt not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 4 a.m.
Thou shalt realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at thy first                    opportunity.
Thou shalt not attempt to drive the car whilst the human is doing so on the freeway.
Thou shalt not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slowly.
Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.
Thou shalt remember that thou are a carnivore and that house plants are not meat.
Thou shalt show remorse when being scolded.