MY DOGGONE PAGE
THINGS WE CAN LEARN FROM A DOG.....
- Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstacy.
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.
Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
Take naps and stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
Be loyal.
Never pretend to be something you're not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shady tree.
When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout...
Run right back and make friends.
Bond with your pack.
Delight in the simple joys of a long walk.
If you stare at someone long enough, eventually you'll get what you want.
Don't go without ID.
When you do something wrong, always take responsibility (as soon as you're dragged out from under the bed!)
If it's not sloppy, it's not a real kiss.
If at first you don't succeed, whine real loud.
Don't settle for cheap food.
Play nicely with others, but remind them it's your toy.
Rainy days are best spent indoors.
When a loud thunderstorm comes at night, and the ones you need to impress with your bravery are asleep, it's okay to hide under the bed.
- If your dog thinks you're the greatest thing in the world...
Don't get a second opinion.
A DOGS PRAYER
Treat me kindly, my beloved master for no heart in the world ismore grateful for kindness than the loving heart of me.
Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I lick your hand
between the blows, your patience and understanding will more
quickly teach me the things you would have me do.
Speak to me often, for your voice is the world's sweetest music,
as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when your
footstep falls upon my waiting ear.
When it is cold and wet, please take me inside, for I am now a
domesticated animal, no longer used to the elements. And I
ask no greater glory that the privilege of sitting at your feet
beside the hearth. Though had you no home, I would rather
follow you through ice and snow than rest upon the softest
pillow in the warmest home in all the land, for you are my God,
and I am your devoted worshiper. Keep my pan filled with fresh water,
for although I should not reproach you were it dry, I cannot tell you
when I suffer thirst.
Feed me clean food, that I may be well, to romp and play and do
your bidding, to walk by your side, and stand ready, willing and
able to protect you with my life should your life be in danger.
And, beloved master, should the Great Master see fit to deprive
me of my health or sight, do not turn me away from you. Rather
hold me gently in your arms as skilled hands grant me the merciful
boon of eternal rest...and I will leave you knowing with the last
breath I drew, my fate was ever safest in your hands.
A POEM FROM THE DOG
- You feed me when I'm hungry.
You keep water in my dish.
You let me sleep on anything.
Or in any place I wish.
You sometimes let me lick your hands.
Or even lick your face.
Despite the fact I've licked myself,
In every private place.
You taught me how to come when called.
You taught me how to sit.
You always let me go outside.
So I can take a shi....stroll.
You'll always have my loyalty,
Up to the bitter end.
'Cause after all, it's plain to see...
You are a dog's best friend.
TOP 20 REASONS DOGS DON'T USE COMPUTERS!
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20. Can't stick their heads out of Windows '98.
19. Fetch command not available on all platforms.
18. Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.
17. Too difficult to "mark" every website they visit.
16. Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail".
15. Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.
14. Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they're browsing www.pethouse.com instead of working.
13. Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee.
12. Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon Screen Saver.
11. Still trying to come up with an "emoticon" that signifies tail-wagging.
10. Oh, but they WILL...with the introduction of the Microsoft Opposable Thumb.
9. Three words: Carpal Paw Syndome.
8. 'Cause dogs ain't GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand...
7. Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software.
6. Smell U-Smell Me still in beta test.
5. SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of the question!
4. Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to manuever.
3. Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures.master's.leg.
2. Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms.
and the Number 1 Reason Dogs Don't Use Computers...
1. Too Damn Hard To Type With Paws.