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Evils Immortal Realms! |
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One liners!!! Well, I think these are hilarious. You might not like them all but please don't get offended its all in the sense of good fun! ************************** Never
knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run. Death hates that. Anarchy
- It's not the law, it's just a good iddea The
illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer. All
things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative Just
because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed Sincerity
is the key. Once you can fake that you've got it made. If
we do not change out direction we are likely to end up where we are headed Power
corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat Ye
shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you frantic Decadence
is it's own reward Organize
for anarchy! Help!
The paranoids are out to get me! I
don't see you, so don't pretend you're there Tell
the truth and run He
who hesitates is last Moral
victories don't count Smile!
The illuminati are watching Everything is controlled by a small, evil group to which, unfortunately, no one we know belongs. We
cheat the other guy and pass the savings on to you Don't
steal, the government hates competition. A
smith and Wesson beats four aces I
don't suffer from insanity, I revel in it. The
worst thing about censorship is XXXXXXXXXX Don't
tell any big lies today. Small ones can be just as effective Smile!
It makes people wonder what you're up to For
every action there is an equal and opposite government program If
we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research Age
and treachery will beat youth and skill every time What
if this weren't a hypothetical question? All
generalizations are incorrect, including this one Friends
come, and friends go, but enemies accumulate Truth
is stranger than fiction because fiction has to make sense All
law is codified revenge If
winning doesn't matter, why keep score? Objectivity
is in the eye of the beholder Smash
the state and have a nice day. Abandon
hope all ye who press enter here No
good deed goes unpunished Gotta
run, my government's collapsing A
friend is someone you call to help you move. Defeat
is worst than death, because you have to live with defeat Someone
you trust is one of us. . . This is a test. This is only a test. Had this been a real emergency, you would all be dead by now. I
don't get even, I get odder. My
inferiority complex is not as big as yours Let's
pretend I'm naive and weirdness abounds. If
someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide & seek, does he
automatically lose because he can't find himself? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? If,
instead of talking to your plants, you yelled at them, would they still grow,
only to be troubled and insecure? Is
there another word for synonym? When
sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their picket signs? When
you open a new bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away? When
your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just
sitting there, staring at carpeting? Where
do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"? Why
isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? Why
do they report power outages on TV? Why
are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to
have a Chapter 11? Isn't
it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? Did
you hear about the blind man who picked up a hammer and saw? I'm
not cheap, but I am on special this week. I
almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. I
drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. I
intend to live forever - so far, so good. If
Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? If
you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough! Mental
backup in progress - Do Not Disturb! Mind
Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States. Quantum
Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of. Support
bacteria - they're the only culture some people have. Televangelists:
The Pro Wrestlers of religion. The
only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes. When
everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. Ambition
is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. If
I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they. Beauty
is in the eye of the beer holder ... If
everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. Many
people quit looking for work when they find a job. Dancing
is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire. When
I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. Everyone
has a photographic memory. Some don't have film. Boycott
shampoo! Demand the REAL poo! If
you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? Who
is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk? Energizer
Bunny arrested, charged with battery. I
poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. I
couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. Shin:
a device for finding furniture in the dark. How
do you tell when you run out of invisible ink? Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them. Laughing
stock: cattle with a sense of humor. Why
do psychics have to ask you for your name? Wear
short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms! For
Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain. OK, so what's the speed of dark? Black
holes are where God divided by zero. All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand. I
tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose. Get
your mind out of the gutter, mine was there first! A drunk mans' words are a sober mans' thoughts.
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