***You have a kiddie wading pool in the yard, but no small children.

***Lintwheels are on your shopping list every week.

***You have baby gates permanently installed at strategic places around the house, but no babies.

***The trash can is more or less permanently installed in the kitchen sink, to keep the dog out of it
      while you're at work.

***You can't see out the passenger side of the windshield because there are nose-prints all over the
      inside.

***Poop has become a source of conversation for you and your significant other.

***Your dog sleeps with you.

***You have 32 different names for your dog. Most make no sense, but the dog understands them all.

***You like people who like your dog. You despise people who don't.

***You carry dog biscuits in your purse or pocket at all times.

***You talk about your dog the way other people talk about their kid.

***You put an extra blanket on the bed so your dog is more comfortable.