change of mind
So i've been racking my brain and thinking and analyzing and trying to figure out what is really best for our family and life style, and i have come to the conclusion that i will not breastfeed. I know many people are against that, but it really isnt' something for me. One, i know it's a generalization but from my observations, formula hasn't done any wrong to my kids (both were formula fed) and i noticed everyone that i know that has breastfed their kids, have had this or that sickness or this or that wrong, infections, severe colds, you name it. My kids have not had one thing (knock on wood), not one ear infection, barely any colds, never the flu, and nothing serious as well. So again, this is just a generalization that i noticed purely from people i know and what they have done and gone through. Two, robert isnt' a problem, but Amber is. She is very very very jealous and i know she will not give me a second with the baby once he's born, and i cant' imagine what that will be like for all of us with the way she gets when she's jealous and she does hit when she's jealous, and i can't do much adn would have to have teh baby with me for so many hours during teh day breastfeeding. With that in mind, being that i'm already running on fumes having barely slept in this pregnancy, i cant' imagine having to stay up more than half the night to breastfeed as well now. Yes, it's a selfish reason, but if i don't get any sleep, i cant' function at all, and i do become a pretty horrible person, and i dont' like to get like that especially with my kids as well (it's just something that i havent' been able to control yet, trying though). So i keep on thinking and thinking, and comparing, and also that i have formula fed both of my kids so far, i dont' think i'll be doing any injustice to kyle either by formula feeding him. My husband supports my decision as he also knows how it will be with our kids and in particular Amber, so we want the transition of all the changes to be as easy as possible for everyone. I do really think this is the best decision, and i do hope that this time around, i won't have to fight at the hospital for formula (with amber, they refused to give me formula and i'll be delivering at the same hospital). Anyway, i just wanted to tell someone as i have no friends here to talk to anyway about anything. Thanks for listening.
