I'm just having a crappy, shitty, horrible latter part of the day. And i know what sets me off, I know he doesn't mean to, but it so aggrevates me when i'm waiting for frank to come home from work and he gets home at a quarter to six and i have to be in class at 6pm! So then i rush, to not be very late, i can't stop for anything if i want something and it just soooo ticks me off and puts me in a fowl mood. I get to class, and i seriously wanted to rip heads off. I was almost practically screaming at Mark today, and it really was uncalled for. He was being his usual childish, funny self, and it was just aggrevating me to the fullest extent. I get home and i don't want to deal with anything or talk and i'm just getting more aggrevated because i just want my space and i can't have it.

I'm just so depressed with everything right now. I even got an award at school this week, and i couldn't give a rats ass for it. As a matter of fact, i dont' like how it was presented and again put me in the position of looking like i'm the nerd and like i'm better than everyone else, since i know that they look at me that way and more so when i get recognition for my work. And it makes me feel like shit even more because i just dont' want to be judged in any way!

I've been told several times this week i don't look ok, i look high, i don't look good or whatever. I just dont' want to look at myself, i don't want to look at my body, my face, and see the shit everyone else sees.