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Hi Kinky-Cowboy, U are a GREAT. Best regards Bernard (Poland-Sweden)

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I am trying to find the lyrics to a song you did which has the part: "I don't care if it rains or freezes long as I got my plastic Jesus sitting on the dashboard of my car . . ." I would appreciate a web site with the lyrics or if you could e-mail them to me. Tnanks much.

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Just finished "Blast from the Past". It was a hell of a lot better than "Underworld" which Imus shilled relentlessly last year. Yeah, it really entertained me. I guess I miss those hazy days too. Guess I'll try another one. Hell that one only took about 2 minutes to read. That damn "Underworld" took me months. But it did put me sleep real well. If Stephanie Dupont is so hot, why can't I find pictures of her on your page? C'mon, don't be so possessive and share, would you? RB

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hey man, dug ya at the rolling thunder review in ft. collins many generations ago. anywaze, also dug "dear abbie" on my tv set whenever you were on it. so, I better get to readin' them books as obviously I'm missin' somethin' good...so, massive greetings to the kinkster from the sterile bowels of honeywell(though I gotta thank them as it's been a financial pleasure). later and shalom, beat pete

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Nancy and Tony at your Utopia Rescue Ranch are angels and should be recognized as such. I adopted a dog there who has become my best friend. However; I did not see any dogs there that looked like Baby Savannah Samet. What happened did Kinky go Hollywood o us or is Stephanie duPont really an uptown girl?

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When will you be in concert in the Wash. DC Baltimore area again?

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I am a fellow East Texan (Mixon...7 miles from Troup)...and until a few years ago I had no idea who you were. My brother discovered you after he move to Boston, Mass. and introduced me to you. I like your sense of humor...your way of getting the point acr ss...Sounds like things overheard at my family reunions!

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Hello: If Imus has never seen Marcia Ball, maybe he doesn't appeciate what he's complaining about. If he has, I just don't get it. I would love to have the option of donating that type of money so see Gilmore, Walker, and Ball in a benefit show for anything in the Research Triangle Park area. I, unfortunately, don't see benefits around here often ooffering that type of talent. If I' wrong, bit my head off. There are plenty of Gilmore, Walker, and Ball fans in the triangle, If Imus doesn't like them, send them to our area of the country, we won't complain that they aren't the big names he expected....

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Just a note about Imus' ranting about the benefit show earlier this week. I for one have no problem with your line-up, especially Jimmy Dale Gilmore, whom I have never had the pleasure of seeing; Jerry Jeff, whom I saw in 1977 as a senior in high school a d again last year 2 times during Jazz Fest, at a music store and again at House of Blues; and finally, last but not least, "Long Tall" Marcia Ball, whom I have had the distinct pleasure of seeing more times than I can count although I did see her 3 times t Jazz Fest last year: Opening for Jerry Jeff at the HOB, at the Jazz Fest, and finally at Jimmy's. If Imus hasn't seen Marcia, he needs to stop complaining.

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How can I order copies of the video "Kinky Friedman and Friends"?

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check out my sons' site: www.accidentclearinghouse.com tx / sr (kinkster mystery fan)

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Kinkster- I gots, just gots, to get the music (and/or chords) to "Silver Eagle Express." How/where to do this?

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Hey Binky, I just loved "Clams in the Snow." I'm up here in N.Y. Town near that hideous I-Man creature who is spiritually channeling Fatty Arbuckle, so I don't get much chance to see you live. Besides, I hate intellectuals (and dumb people too.) I am an a imal lover though and so are you. Don't look at me that way, we're not kindred souls. Just keep pissin' people off and make them use their brains. Geez, somebody's gotta. Thanks for the chance to write ya, Bub.

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Hey Fellow fans......please check the new prices for the Bone-i-fit. They have been adjusted to sell $100 with a free meal, $50 reserved seating and $25 general addmission. See ya there!!!

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I never even heard of you until I saw you talking with John Siengenthaler on his "A Word on Words" show. I was drinking Gin that morning and there you were. I'm a writer-laborer, no college. Even if I could get things published, would I make enough to s op that damn Labor? I have a dream!

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Hi Kinkster, I didn't really want to publicize my questions and "Komments" but if this is the way to reach you, OK then. First -- Utopia! You are the God of Kindness. I have an adopted hound and she is the sweetest thing, ever. Second -- I couldn't find the contact info for you elsewhere, so here goes: I do believe I lost my innocence (heh heh, such as 'twas) to "Get Your B scuits in the Oven...", and Third -- why do ya not neuter/spay the pups at Utopia? Just wondering. (And Fourth -- Greenwich Killing Time is my absolute favorite of your books. My dad is a Texas author -- more about that another time.)

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Author, Musician, Cigar Smoker..... We got a lot in common. This is a song pitch. I'll tell you that right now. In addition, however, I've always admired you and anything you produced (from an artistic sense anyway). That remark about Stringbean in restaurant still has me laughing. I don't know if you are looking for new material, but I've got some if you'd like to see it. And if you have any connections with Macmillan, put in a good word for me. They asked to see a book proposal for my "Complete Idiot's Guide to Country Music" With Judeo-Christian regards, Randall Armstrong p.s. How's was the dictator crop last year?

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cheers for the laughs

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Kinkster I can`t believe that your ticket prices for the Bone-i-Fit are so high my friends and I will not be able to attend. Please think about some lower priced ones for the proleterian among us. We will be making a pilgrimedge from Boulder for the even .....if the prices fall before we do!! Otherwise we will keep wearing out the CD

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Dearest Kinky, I wish to thank you for all the hours of entertainment you have provided. And in a small town in Texas, entertainment is hard to come by. If you ever wish to write a biography, let me know I would love to write it....the rest of the world needs to know ll about the legend.

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I'm Looking for a copy of Chinga Chavin's "Country Porn", can anybody help me out? NIck

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I agree that the price for the tickets to your show are too expensisve. I know alot of people who want to go but can`t afford those prices.Why not let us in for a couple of bags of dog food or have some cheaper tickets. Who is getting rich on this????????

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Kinky Love your books and music!!! Everytime you play Austin my friends and I try to make it but Man!! $100 a ticket for your Bone-i-Fit is out of our reach. I know alot of people who want to come and help the animals but the cost is prohibitive. Isn`t t ere any way that you could offer some cheap tickets for your fans who have been with you from the beginning? Come on Kinky have a heart!!

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Next time you're in England, Damon and I will buy you a Jameson's.

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Thank you for the interview. It was good to talk with you. Here is a link to the final story if you are interested. http://austin.citysearch.com/E/F/AUSTX/0000/17/20/ Thanks, Jeremy Citysearch

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Woof! Started reading your books a short while ago and found that yes, they do go well with a tasty cigar in hand. Can't tell you the great fun it is searching for your books. Seems most of the anal retentive bookstores around here are slack in carrying you work. Thanks from me, my cats, humidor and my wife for finding something to do other then bug her for some selfish gratification.

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I love your hair so I decided to try your books and I love them too. How can I get them inscribed or signed by you when I complete my collection? Bye Kinky. Teresa

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Kinky: Aside from being a fan of both your books and your music, I also help run a little record store here in Austin. We'd love to have you in to promote "Pearls in the Snow" and the upcoming benefit for the Utopia Animal Rescue Ranch. It'd be a financial pleas re (for us at least). Thanks, Karl

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Hi Kinky, I really enjoy watching Imus in the morning. You all are great. My question is I ordered Pearls in the snow 12/24/98 via the internet and still don't have it. Can you tell me who to call. I can't find a phone number. Thanks

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Hi! Just a little greeting from one of your norwegian fans. I got your book "God bless John Wayne" as christmas present, and I enjoyed it very much. Think I will read some more of your books. I also heard you on the norwegian radio after your concert a few months ago. You remarked on the fact that the audience danced to your music. Well, you are not the first to be surprised at the norwegian dancing enthusiasm... Too bad I did not know of your concert in beforehand, so I could have gone. Maybe it will be some time til next time? Yours, Hilde

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How is it that someone who has the last typewriter in Texas gets a web page? Has Kinky really become that nineties guy?

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Enjoyed your Web Site - Especially Cuddles!!! Your friend Ratso sent me to your site.

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Dear Mr. Friedman, Once upon a time, while working at a summer camp, I read one of your books. I really enjoyed it. Do your family still run a camp? I'm a graduate student doing my thesis on summer camps and I'm curious about your family's. Thank you. Sincerely, Erin Angel

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Dear Kinky, How are you doing ? I'm in the process of reading one of your books and I think it is very good. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

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Greetings Kinkster from a fellow "kerrvert". Stuck out here in the far west Texas dust bowl. Love you books. Have read all but the newest one. Can't wait!! bye............

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I admit: I'm a Kinky junkie. Newly hooked, newly cooked. I'm also a Warren Zevon fan (if you ever talk to him, never put Chuck Norris and Republican in the same sentence. Don't ask me why not.) and am really asking about references to him. How many ar there and what are they so I can continue lining your pockets with my paychecks? Really, I like spending money on new addictions. Keep it up - I've been looking for a writer like you for damned near forever.

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I am trying to recall a quote about how you should only trust the assholes in the world.A friend loaned me the book it was in and he no longer has it and can not remember what book it was.I would like to find what book it is in so I could go buy it.Thank ou,Brent Alford

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Just wanted to give you my correct E-mail address. That's all.

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Dear Kinky: The online mystery magazine, WITHOUT A CLUE, is introducing a section for mystery fans called Ask the Mystery Opinion Board, where we will query a few different authors each month with questions we hope they will find fun to answer. We know our readers wi l enjoy their opinions. We will, naturally, refer to this column as Ask the MOB. We'd like your response to the following question: Of all the villainous characters you have created, which is your favorite and why? Although you have the right to remain silent, we encourage you to perform some BSP (blatant self-promotion) after your name by plugging your latest mystery novel or short story and/or your website. Linda L.C. Mohr Mystery Columnist WITHOUT A CLUE

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hey friedman!!! ratso is alive and well and working for the god damn post office in saratoga ny. who d thunk that!!! still humming though. cant wait to see what shit u got me into this time. have a short snort for ur old bud .

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Kinky, Just wanted to say what a big fan I am of all your books; have 'em, love 'em, only loan them out with a hefty deposit or a digit left behind. I eagerly anticipate each new offering, please; keep them coming. I also love animals and the fact that you include them so humorously and lovingly in your novels tickles me to no end. Best regards from Oregon. Linda Sandeen & Einstein (my 18 lb. cat)

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Have heard your music on Imus in the Morning, it's great. But you do not have a retailer in Florida so I'll be calling the Auto Body Express for my needs. Now I'm wondering if you can help me; in the late 70's I purchased a cassette by the title of "COWBOY SATURDAY NIGHT" featuring Jerry M x Lane, with a selection of the best country songs. However, I have played it so much that it has worn out. Perhaps you can tell me where I can purchase another one, on CD if possible. Any information will be appreciated. Thank you

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A big 1-2-3 How! to you. Found this site thought I would drop a line. Have read many of your books and I love them. Glad to see you are doing to well. Missed you when I was down to show my son the ranch last summer. Hope to see you in the future. Green Trees Ruthie a.k.a. Bogie

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new year, new tidings ... "we live as we dream - alone". thanks for your continued efforts to color-in the gray.

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Kinster, are you ever coming back to Vancouver (BC)? It's high time we saw you again!

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Dear Kinky, Your books saved my life!! Thank God for your writing, your sense of humor, your wacky characters! God bless you, Brenda

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Yo! I sent Cousin Henry the "missing person" poster of Kinky I found in Cabo. Even sent a copy to Ramdam. No one responds. Can I have fun on the Internet now? I know how.

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Kinky I hope you have more to serve up.I'm ready for another book. Dolly

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Hello Kinky or is it Mr. Kinky? Oh well. I am a avid reader of your books since I read Jesus, Elvis and Cocola. My spouse figured I had finally gone off the deep end with a book title like that. He was certain of it when he heard me laughing as I read the book, and started to ma e plans for committing me when I started quoting lines from the book. Some of my favorites were from God Bless John Wayne....such as "you can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't wipe your friends off on your saddle!" The quote that usually gets me in the most trouble is the one that deals with utting off the end of your dick and the other part of throughing the whole Jew away! Our family is Jewish, but I am what I call a "New Jew" as I after being married 14 years, at the time, converted. My spouse had not been a practicing Jew basically unt l my jump in the lake (Mikvah) but our children had gine to Jewish preschools and we had been involved in some of the holidays. So all of a sudden the man has become a Super Jew! Not that he's gone over board, just what ever sense of humor he's got no l nger extended to Jewish jokes. I told our Rabbi during my training that I had to have a lot of humor with my religion or I'd never make it. He agreed humor was good, my spouse wasn't sure. My son the computer expert tells me I have to cease rambling on, so Kinky from a fan have a Good Day and say Hello back to me if you can.

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Hello Kinky or is it Mr. Kinky? Oh well. I am a avid reader of your books since I read Jesus, Elvis and Cocola. My spouse figured I had finally gone off the deep end with a book title like that. He was certain of it when he heard me laughing as I read the book, and started to ma e plans for committing me when I started quoting lines from the book. Some of my favorites were from God Bless John Wayne....such as "you can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't wipe your friends off on your saddle!" The quote that usually gets me in the most trouble is the one that deals with utting off the end of your dick and the other part of throughing the whole Jew away! Our family is Jewish, but I am what I call a "New Jew" as I after being married 14 years, at the time, converted. My spouse had not been a practicing Jew basically unt l my jump in the lake (Mikvah) but our children had gine to Jewish preschools and we had been involved in some of the holidays. So all of a sudden the man has become a Super Jew! Not that he's gone over board, just what ever sense of humor he's got no l nger extended to Jewish jokes. I told our Rabbi during my training that I had to have a lot of humor with my religion or I'd never make it. He agreed humor was good, my spouse wasn't sure. My son the computer expert tells me I have to cease rambling on, so Kinky from a fan have a Good Day and say Hello back to me if you can.

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Just read a copy of your article "A Tribute to Me" in the Texas Monthly. I laughed so hard at 2000 words of irreverence that I am afraid that a whole book would be dangerous, or a letdown. Great stuff.

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I ordered Pearls in the Snow 11/23/98 through this website and have not received it, but I have been billed for it. Please advise.

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Kinkstah!!! I live across the street from Myers of Kes. The only reason I shop there is cuz he's in yer books Yestrday I bought a Hagas... Is Hagas Kosher??

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i'm not a fan of fan mail - having been in "the life" myself (vet broadcaster-dj for 21 yrs., tv pr for the past 11) - but i just want you to know how much i've enjoyed playing your music (from the texas jewboys days) and lately, enjoyed your books. am eading "blast from the past" right now (about 50 pages to go) - and after that's done, can't wait for the next tome. keep on keeping on, kinkster - maybe the next book could be set in mobile - the original home of mardi gras in america - you'd fit right n - plus we could introduce you to your l.a. (lower alabama) counterpart - j.w. slyde.....film at 11..... pax

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Hi Kinky, Love your books, "roadkill" made me buy some willie Nelson cd's too. I'm sorry i can't find "pearls in the snow" in holland yet, so bring some if you're ever coming over here again. Greetings, Onno p.s. i've got a cohiba waiting for you if you're in the neigborhood

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Kinky, Just wanted to say hello, and to tell you that when in Chinatown in New York, you might want to drop in on my Sister-In-Law, Dr. Foong-Kiew Wong at 13-17 Elizabeth Street, 6/Fl., Room 606. She is an accupuncturist and herbalist just in case you need that sort of thing. Hope to see you on tour or at a booksigning here in Northwest Florida sometime. Sincerely, Steve Satterfield

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greetings from a kraut. love your books.

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Hi there Kinky. Just writing you all the way from Vangede, Denmark to tell you how much I like your books. Keep them coming, please! :O) Malene PS: Great website, by the way.

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Hi I live in Irving, and was channel hopping when I was very pleasantly surprised. There you were. My goodness I feel I know you and of course you have never heard of me. Guess your fans say that all the time.My grown kids still remember your albums. Their f vorite song was Old Ben Lucas! I love your books and wish you all the best! Long time fan Cherri

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Kinkster- Remember 20 years ago in New Orleans? Jed's , etc. I don't. I bought a gin mill in Montauk, NY, on the beach. I'd like to make it up to you for not inviting you to play at my nuptials by inviting you play--or read--at the joint. And I'm even willing to pay. Please let me know when you're up NYC way. At the beach with Kinky sounds pretty good, like maybe the name of a new novel. Nick from New Orleans

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HI KINKY GIVE ME A CALL SOMETIME - I'M STILL LISTED UNDER LYDIA HAYS IN FREDERICKSBURG. I HAVE A 6 YEAR OLD MALTESE NAMED POPCORN. MISS SEEING YOU LOVE LYDIA

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Hey Friedman, I saw an interview that you had in Irving, TX at the public library (very nice). Are you a Pisces by chance? Anyway, I want your opinion on what novel I should start with? Don't get mad if I steal your style...I'm real impressionable like that. Give me a call and we'll do lunch! (semi-seriously) 972.720.4772 (Work #) Thanks for the Inspiration, delatorre

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Well, I guess it was just a matter of time. If you check out the above website, hoss, you'll find the original mystery thriller entitled A Blast From the Past. I wrote it over twenty years ago so I don't think I can be accused of stealing your title or writing style. Besides, my novel has something yours lacks - a plot, believable characters, etc...but yours will probably reach a moderately large and appreciatve public while mine will remain an undiscovered gem (except for the dozen or so people who have already read it) until I'm no longer around o enjoy the benefits. But don't sweat it, Kinkster, I'm reconciled to this kind of stuff. It's the story of my life - which will be my posthumous masterpiece. You're a better-than-average singer/songwriter, Kinky, but as a novelist I'm afraid you're all style and no substance. Your (obscure) alter ego, Willy (I'm re-posting this because I got my website wrong on the first time around.)

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Well, I guess it was just a matter of time. If you check out the above website, hoss, you'll find the original mystery thriller entitled A Blast From the Past. I wrote it over twenty years ago so I don't think I can be accused of stealing your title or wr ting style. Besides, my novel is a little different than yours - has something BESIDES style. Like a plot, believable characters, etc... But yours will probably sell reasonably well while mine will remain an undiscovered gem (except for the dozen or so pe ple who have already read it) until I'm no longer around to enjoy the benefits. But don't sweat it, Kinkster, I'm reconciled to this kind of stuff. It's the story of my life - which will be my posthumous masterpiece. You're a better-than-average singer/songwriter, Kinky, but as a novelist I'm afraid you're all flash and no substance. Your (obscure) older brother, Willy

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Love your books..your music...and your love for animals...I could just Squeeze ya!!!!! I just ordered "Pearls in the Snow" for my husband who can't live without it...hugs.....Cheryl

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Hi Kinky! I love the books and music. Will you be appearing anywhere near Corpus Christi in Feb.99? I'll be down from Toronto, Canada for 3 weeks. I am the Fundraising Director for Toronto Cat Rescue, a no-kill , non-profit cat rescue organization up h re (no, I 'm not putting a touch on you) so I appreciate the work you do for homeless pets too! Thanks for all the pleasure your work has brought me. Gloria

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Hi Kinky! It was great to see you here in Stockholm, first at the book launch at Café 44 and later at the Mosebacke show. I'm the guy with the hat that had all your books, which you signed for me. Thanks! Please come back soon! You sold out the house at Mosebacke a ter all. Looking forward to "Spanking Watson" Jorgen

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Dearest Kinky, I just wanted to write you to tell you that you have quite a following here in Paducah (KY not TX) I have gotten my whole family hooked on Kinky books, so keep 'em comin'. If your ever up this way a d would like to go fishin', e-mail me and I'll see if I can get Willie to come too! Because you both are very good little church workers. Hope to hear from you! Smiley

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Dearest Kinky, I just wanted to write you to tell you that you have quite a following here in Paducah (KY not TX) I have gotten my whole family hooked on Kinky books, so keep 'em comin'. If your ever up this way a d would like to go fishin', e-mail me and I'll see if I can get Willie to come too! Because you both are very good little church workers. Hope to hear from you! Smiley

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Thanks for sharing your many talents with us - the world is a better place because of it!! And thanks, also, for helping animals!! I have long believed they are more deserving of compassion than many people. Some day I hope to open and operate the Pipe Creek Chapter of the Utopia Animal Rescue Ranch!!

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I Sent "Pearls" to the No'ouji's. O(slash)vind said, it was impossible to get there and he's now the happiest man in Oslo, so he writes.

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Kinky, I have just recently within the last year been aquainted with you work and adore it, musically and your books. I am a recent graduate at ASU in creative writing and believe it or not, your work has been a great inspiration on how to write great sat re and comedy. Just wanted to let you know to keep up the good work and you are right..... santa claus did kill Jesus Christ Robert Kovaly Phoenix Az

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Kinkster, I have all your albums and all your books. It doesn't look as if you answer any of the people who write to you or if you do, the we viewers of the writings only get to see the letters to you. If you do answer any of the emails (especially mine), will you ell me how I can get one of the books I have (written by you of course) autographed (by you of course)? I will send it wherever, with a postage enclosed envelope. I will wait by my computer for your answer! Mike Drake

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Mr. Friedman. Last summer my 11 year old niece (Alex) came to the bookstore, in San Antonio, where you were sigining autographs. She came to get your autograph for me as a Christmas present. (you signed the book from a Texas Jewboy to an Oklahoma Methodist). I under tand that you sign a lot of books, and I don't expect you to remember this one, but I wanted to let you know how much both Alex and I appreciated your treating her with dignity and courtesy. Talent and civility are a rare combination these days. Thanks. J. Minter (Uncle Jodie)

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Just finished my first KF book! Thanks and I am glad that I've got more to look forward to! Keep them coming (no double entendres intended!)

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I can't get "Pearls in the Snow" from any local record stores. Do I have to order it online?

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Kinky... I've been waiting patiently for your new CD to arrive...ordered back in November...please...what do I have to do to get it here!!!!!!!We love ya,

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Kinky it ain't Jesus here or anything like that but I've enjoyed your music from the day my virgin ears were subjected to it. My favorite little booger is Old Ben Lucas, from Laso from El Paso. I take that back. I can't pick just one. But enough is enough.I do get a Kinky Jones quite often thank God for vinyl/CD's. Oh yeah your books aren't bad either.If the Kinkster really reads this I'm Dolly Parton

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Is it true U2 were going to name their mega-hit "With Or Without Jew" in your honor? Hee-hee!

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You ought to make Rob buy some of your stuff. Then I can buy some of your stuff from him. >>I have discovered that I can't live without a coupla snot rags.<< OK -j

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Kinky, Bought your CD at Rob's Hill Country Humidor. Good show! Do you ever plan a trip to Rob's, or do you just show up whenever you get there? Rob's a major hoot his own self, but you and he bouncing lines off each other would be, I suspect, nearly unbearable. But I would like to take that chance anyhow. Speaking of good shows, your guest appearance on the Joan Rivers Show, circa 1986 was a scream. Most of your humor went right over the heads of that NYC audience (kinda like a calf staring at a new gate). When you sang Biscuits / Buns, I swear I thought I smelled smoke. In regards to the above Kinkyism, I have stolen it and some others: - a lifestyle that does not require my presence - renaisance Texan. Back to the point, which ludicrously assumes I have one: I would like to hear some .wav clips from that interview, posted on your web page, if possible. OK -jc

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Good afternoon, This is my first and probably last fan letter. I don't do this sort of thing, but just bought and listened to Pearls in the Snow. I bought the next to the last copy (I take that as a good sign)in the Electric Fetus in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Strange pl ce for a college professor from rural Wisconsin to be. Also, went to Uncle Edgar's and bought four more of your books (signed,thanks). However, I am wandering in my message and thoughts. Loved Pearls in the Snow. Willie Nelson singing "Ride'em Jewboy" remindered me what wonderful voice Willie has and what a Hall of Fame performer he is. Willie gave an outstanding, performance; he is good but he ain't no Kinky Friedman. I enjoy your music, your lyrics and your voice. Both my wife and I enjoy your books, but I have to admit to being more partial to your music. Keep up the good work, in music, literature and supporting animal rescue efforts as in Animal Utopia. Cuddles would be proud. Will try to catch next time you are in Minneapolis to sign books or maybe I can convince someone at the University that we need you to guest lecture, read, or just hang around. Always a fan, Phil

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Me again! Just wanted to put the record straight to counter all the bad stuff about non-deliveries of the CD. My order was processed in a timely manner, so at least some of us are happy! Cheers!

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Pearls In The Snow is a GREAT CD. Thank you dear Imus for informing us of it. Where can we get more, especially of the Texas Jewboys? Keep up the good work, we want MORE! Happy New Year!

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Kinkster...I ordered Pearls In the Snow over two months ago from your web site and it has never been shipped. Can you guys check and see if it was overlooked. Should I reorder from you if you've lost my original request or should I buy it from Fred Imu ?

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I ordered Pearls in the Snow the first day Don Imus started hyping it in mid-November. I started calling customer service in Dec as this was a Xmas gift and got a run around that US Mail can take up to 21 days we all know this is BS! Anyways after a few c lls and the same song and dance I realized I would not see it for Xmas. Now I am back from Vacation and expected to see ot here at my office - NOT! I call again today and get such a load of hogwash - I asked that it be re-shipped and with the Priority m il at your expense and you would think I was asking you to bring it to New York in person! That's called CUSTOMER SERVICE and you might let your girls or at LEAST your supervisors in on that. They read as if from a script . I re-ordered it since no one around here carries it - it does however go against my grain to do business in this manner. I ordered it ONLINE where there was no choice of Priority Mail. I do expect an answer for my troubles, at least!

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January 7, 1999 Dear Mr. Friedman, I very much enjoyed your book, The Love Song of J. Edgar Hoover. Yet, metaphors such as our companions being partners in the march to the grave, mankind plodding along toward what is only his extinction, and disillusioned Jewish dinosaurs (funny, they didn¹t look Jewish, except for maybe triceratops, who somewhat resembled my cousin Helen), were somewhat disturbing to me. I concluded that there must be something lacking in your own life which results in your seeing the future as awfully dark. Now what could it be that you have thus far failed to sufficiently explore in your life experience? What is it with which you re not in touch? As evidenced by your writing, it could certainly not be your creativity, which seems to be in full bloom. You appear to be well in touch with you childhood, and your inner-child is certainly no stranger to you. (Actually, it is more like a guest who h s stayed over-long). Your sexuality seems to have been explored; whether single-handedly or with assistance I could not say. Your writings bear evidence that even the contents of your nasal cavities have been probed, although perhaps not exhaustively. So what is left? What is missing is that which would go on after you are gone? Sadly, our cats and dogs seldom survive us (although if you don¹t cut down on your drinking, the next mayfly that happens by will probably outlive you). What is missing f om your life is parenthood! It is the only thing that will give you the sense that life will continue absent your own sorry carcass. And just what can you do about this lack? Well, here I have a solution. I myself happen to have three daughters, the first of which I have fully raised and who has just graduated from Yale magna cum laude, with honors in two majors. Now, my oldest may have shown some spirit by removing her blouse during a midnight showing of the ³Rocky Horror Show² the same day she was notified she had scored 1520 on her SAT test, by running nude through the Yale Library reading room in an annual rite of spring, by res aging the movie ³Carrie² during the senior dance (everyone thought it such a lark to vote for prom king and queen), but the youngest two, 11 and 17, are just too wild for me to handle. I have a modest proposal for you. You take them! They are every bit as beautiful and smart as their older sister, but they are just too much for me. Why, if I were to tell you what these little savages have done, you¹d surely think that I was just making it up. I am a woman of considerable spunk, but these two would try the wisdom of Solomon and the patience of Job. However, I think that you may be up for the job. It would be in your own best interests to aid in civilizing these children. Aside from helping you discover what bing a mensc is all about, these two hoydens could conceivably credit the human race instead of contributing to its downfall. Thanking you in advance for any help you can offer, I remain your appreciative reader, Judy Soloski

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January 7, 1999 Dear Mr. Friedman, I very much enjoyed your book, The Love Song of J. Edgar Hoover. Yet, metaphors such as our companions being partners in the march to the grave, mankind plodding along toward what is only his extinction, and disillusioned Jewish dinosaurs (funny, they didn¹t look Jewish, except for maybe triceratops, who somewhat resembled my cousin Helen), were somewhat disturbing to me. I concluded that there must be something lacking in your own life which results in your seeing the future as awfully dark. Now what could it be that you have thus far failed to sufficiently explore in your life experience? What is it with which you re not in touch? As evidenced by your writing, it could certainly not be your creativity, which seems to be in full bloom. You appear to be well in touch with you childhood, and your inner-child is certainly no stranger to you. (Actually, it is more like a guest who h s stayed over-long). Your sexuality seems to have been explored; whether single-handedly or with assistance I could not say. Your writings bear evidence that even the contents of your nasal cavities have been probed, although perhaps not exhaustively. So what is left? What is missing is that which would go on after you are gone? Sadly, our cats and dogs seldom survive us (although if you don¹t cut down on your drinking, the next mayfly that happens by will probably outlive you). What is missing f om your life is parenthood! It is the only thing that will give you the sense that life will continue absent your own sorry carcass. And just what can you do about this lack? Well, here I have a solution. I myself happen to have three daughters, the first of which I have fully raised and who has just graduated from Yale magna cum laude, with honors in two majors. Now, my oldest may have shown some spirit by removing her blouse during a midnight showing of the ³Rocky Horror Show² the same day she was notified she had scored 1520 on her SAT test, by running nude through the Yale Library reading room in an annual rite of spring, by res aging the movie ³Carrie² during the senior dance (everyone thought it such a lark to vote for prom king and queen), but the youngest two, 11 and 17, are just too wild for me to handle. I have a modest proposal for you. You take them! They are every bit as beautiful and smart as their older sister, but they are just too much for me. Why, if I were to tell you what these little savages have done, you¹d surely think that I was just making it up. I am a woman of considerable spunk, but these two would try the wisdom of Solomon and the patience of Job. However, I think that you may be up for the job. It would be in your own best interests to aid in civilizing these children. Aside from helping you discover what bing a mensc is all about, these two hoydens could conceivably credit the human race instead of contributing to its downfall. Thanking you in advance for any help you can offer, I remain your appreciative reader, Judy Soloski

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Good to know a new novel & album are out. But when will they reach Scotland?? Coming back to Glasgow anytime soon?

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Woo Woo! Happy as a clam with Pearls in the Snow. Stoked to hear about Spanking Watson and more. Please stop in Knoxville, TN, on your next book tour, Kinky. We're in a rut of self-help authors at the local Barnes & Noble.

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hi kinky. Andrew Hobby 512.376.4718 396.0218

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I have a picture of your mom before she and tommy were married can i send it to you? i was friends with your parents when we all lived in chicago. sincerely, sophie

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Hello there Kinkstah a loyal Lubbock Texas fan here about to make a big move. I recently graduated from Texas Tech and am deciding between NYC or a life on the sea. Both troubled waters I believe. Drop me a line if time allows. Also if you can, the gu who introduced your works to me(Coleman H.)would be elated to hear from you at: cman@juno.com - Thanks, Bobby Once upon a time, there was a nonconforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter. However, soon the weather turned so cold that he reluctantly started to fly south. In a short time, ice began to form on his wings and he fell to earth in the barnyard almost frozen. A cow passed by and crapped on the little sparrow. The sparrow thought it was the end, but the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings. Warm and happy, able to breathe, he started to sing. Just then a large cat came by and hearing the chirping, investigated the sounds. The cat cleaned away the manure, found the chirping bird and promptly ate him. The moral of the story is: 1. Everyone who shits on you is not necessarily your enemy. 2. Everyone who gets you out of some shit is not necessarily your friend. 3. So, if you are warm and happy in a pile of shit, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.

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G'day Kinky...Tell me, how can I get a copy of New Testaments and Old Revelations? I can't find it anywhere, so I thought I better go to the source. Thanks, Kinky. P.S. You should get back to Australia and play some shows again. Also I beleive you may be the only person on Australian TV to say "Big Dick" to Bert Newton. Keep up the good

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G'day Kinky...Tell me, how can I get a copy of New Testaments and Old Revelations? I can't find it anywhere, so I thought I better go to the source. Thanks, Kinky. P.S. You should get back to Australia and play some shows again. Also I beleive you may be the only person on Australian TV to say "Big Dick" to Bert Newton. Keep up the good

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How come the following songs were left off 'Pearls'? Waitret, please waitret Men's room L.A. These are great! Tell the truth! k.d. lang was holding out for 'waitret,' right?

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i ordered pearls in the snow via this webb site the first week it was offered. i am now waiting 6weeks and no cd. do i reorder, do i use 1-800,do i buy it in a retailer(on Vandam ST??)please advise as you now got me!!(imus listener)

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Kinky, Help! Where can I find Lasso From El Paso on CD? My album is about done in?

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I know you probably don't read this stuff, but I totally love you. My sister (30) has a thing for donny osmond. well, I (17) have a thing for you. A big thing. I first read one of your books casue Willie Nelson said it was good. but then I got your cds and everything. Come on. you'd have to be crazy if you said you didn't like younger women.

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Hey Kinkster!

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Hey Kinkster!