"Rick Ashley's Good Bye" By Duane Hanson
I am back home again. The kids and dogs were happy to have me home.
I wanted to share my experience in North Carolina with those of you that wanted to be there but couldn't. I wanted to write it down so that I could remember what I felt at a later time. Judy and Max shared their car with me or I would not have been able to go. We drove straight through and arrived the night before the service. We missed the viewing at the funeral home but met Ben at his house shortly after.
Rick Ashley was respected for his wonderful personality and his genuine desire to help others. His death shocked the community of close knit families, neighbors and professional co-workers. Rick had been a Deputy Sheriff for about a year. The day of the funeral two limousines arrived to transport May and her immediate family to the church. We followed in a procession with police escorts. At every intersection we passed we realized the traffic was controlled by at least one and sometimes 3 officers. They bowed their heads as we passed and fell into line at the end of the procession with the lights still flashing. I counted over twenty cars lit up in mournful respect. We were met at the church with a formation of uniformed law enforcement and civil servants from the surrounding counties and state. I was touched to tears by the outpouring of love and support this community was demonstrating for May and her boys. Ben escorted May to the front of the church and we filled in behind. The church was beautiful.
We traveled to the gravesite with the police cars leading the way. The wives of the officers rode with them. The procession from the church was 10 miles long. We were greeted with salutes and waves, signs and flags, and the deepest sympathy from a caring community that I have ever witnessed. I could not have imagined the magnitude of involvement with fire trucks and television coverage and public displays of respect and sympathy. We arrived at the gravesite and the formation of state troopers, city and county police, search and rescue, firemen, and every other division and department of several counties represented in uniform formed at one side. This immense cemetery was covered with people who had come to pay their last respects. Ricks coffin was draped with an American flag. The air was filled with the scent of hundreds of flower arrangements. A 21 gun salute was given as the color guard removed and folded the flag. The color guard commander kneeled and handed the flag to May. Suddenly the air was to ??
We drove to a community center just around the corner from May's house. It was filled with every kind of food dessert and flower that was available within a hundred miles. We ate and talked and hugged and the healing process was underway. May is in great hands in this community. She has family and friends nearby that will do anything they can for her and the boys. Good Christian people. May will not want. All of the funeral expenses food and help was donated. She is getting mail by the basketful and donations are being collected for her. Nothing can replace the man she loves but her faith is strong. She will be with Rick again.
Rick is a fallen hero. May and the boys are left with his memories and the presence of eternal love. Their lives will open a new chapter and carry his memories and love with them. We spent the night at May's house before we left and she tried to get me up to date on the last 20 years with pictures and stories. I tried to hang on her every word because I knew how precious and dear this experience was for both of us. May is so proud of her family and going through the pictures of Rick and their history was not easy for May. Rick has the warmest smile. When he smiled his eyes and face would light up with honest love. Rick's presence in the home will be felt through the love of his family and shared by the world for many years to come.
When it was time to go it was hugs all around. I know that May's oldest son Rick is a young man that is capable and intelligent like his father. He has the smile and love and good sense that leaves you with a sense of confidence. Steve is handsome, witty and creative. He is also a caring young man and will help keep his mother strong with love, respect and the help she needs with daily tasks. I didn't want to let May go when we hugged the last time. I just squeezed one more time and then another. May has the heart of a lion. Her Christian courage is a ministry. I kissed her one last time and we left the driveway of her home. She had brought some of the flowers home and the arrangements circled a huge tree in the yard. The petals and ribbons waved with May and her boys. The big white house with a white columned porch disappeared behind us. I couldn't help but feel a contentment knowing that through the pain they would be OK.
