DAY ONE
Breakfast: 1 scrambled egg, 1 piece of toast with grape jelly. Eat 2 bites of egg using your fingers, dump the rest on the floor. Take 1 bite of toast, smear the jelly over your face and clothes.
Lunch: 4 crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips, 1 glass of milk (3 sips only, spill the rest).
Dinner: 1 dry stick, 2 pennies, 1 nickel, 4 sips of flat Sprite. Bedtime snack: Throw a piece of toast on the kitchen floor.

DAY TWO:
Breakfast: Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat it. Drink 1/2 bottle of vanilla extract or 1 vial of vegetable dye.
Lunch: 1/2 tube of "Pulsating Pink" lipstick and a handful of Purina Dog Chow (any flavor). 1 ice cube, if desired.
Afternoon Snack: Lick an all-day sucker until sticky, take outside, drop it in dirt. Retrieve and continue slurping until it is clean again. Then bring inside and drop on rug.
Dinner: A rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust up your left nostril. Pour grape Kool-Aid over mashed potatoes, eat with a spoon.

DAY THREE:
Breakfast: 2 pancakes with plenty of syrup, eat 1 with fingers, rub in hair. Glass of milk, drink 1/2, stuff other pancake in glass. After breakfast, pick up yesterday's sucker from rug, lick off fuzz, put it on cushion of best chair.
Lunch: 3 matches, peanut butter & jelly sandwich. Spit several bites onto the floor. Pour glass of milk on table and slurp up.
Dinner: Dish of ice cream, handful of potato chips, some red punch. Try to laugh some punch through your nose, if possible.

FINAL DAY:
Breakfast: A quarter tube of toothpaste (any flavor), bit of soap, an olive. Pour a glass of milk over bowl of corn flakes, add 1/2 cup of sugar. Once cereal is soggy, drink milk and feed cereal to dog.
Lunch: Eat bread crumbs off kitchen floor and dining room carpet. Find that sucker and finish eating it.
Dinner: 1 glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk. Leave meatball on plate. Have a stick of mascara for dessert.