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December 20, 1998
21 Ways to Annoy Your Roommate at Christmas
- Claim you were a Christmas tree in your former life. If s/he tries to bring one into the room, scream bloody murder and thrash on the floor.
- Go to the mall with your roommate and sit on Santa's lap. Refuse to move.
- Wear a Santa suit all the time. Deny you're wearing it.
- Sit in a corner in the fetal position rocking back and forth chanting, "Santa Claus is coming to town, Santa Claus is coming to town..."
- Hang mistletoe in the doorway. When your roommate enters or leaves the room, plant a wet one on his/her lips.
- Hang a stocking with your roommates name on it. Put coal and sharp objects in it. If s/he asks, say, "You've
been very naughty his year."
- Paint your nose red and wear antlers. Constantly complain about how you never get to join in on the reindeer
games.
- Make conversation out of Christmas carols. (for example: "You know, I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe last night.")
- Wrap yourself in Christmas lights and roll around in the snow.
- Sing: "All I want for Christmas is your two front teeth..."
- Give your roommate the gifts from the twelve days of Christmas song.
- Build a snow person with your roommate and place a hat on its head. When it doesn't come to life, cry hysterically: "It didn't work!"
- Tear down all your roommate's Christmas decorations yelling, "Bah Humbug!"
- Tell your roommate you're moving out because Santa's buying you a house on 34th Street.
- Pin a poinsettia to your lapel.
- Put on a fake white beard and insist that all your roommate's friends, "Give it a yank."
- Ring jingle bells maniacally saying, "every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings."
- Stand in front of the mirror in your underwear reciting, "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" over and over.
- Watch your roommate when s/he is sleeping. When s/he wakes up, sing, "He sees you when you're sleeping..."
- When your roommate goes to the bathroom, rearrange his/her possessions. Tell him/her that Santa's elves must
have done it.
- Take some miniature marshmallows and put them in a little baggie. Attach a note to the bag that has a picture of
a snow man and this poem: "You have been naughty, and here's the scoop: All you get is the snowman's poop!"