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August 18, 2000
The Clone


Although the head of a giant bio-technology corporation loved his work dearly, he regretted not having more time to spend with his family. So, he went to the chief research scientist and asked him to come up with a solution.

"That's quite simple, sir. All you need is a clone of yourself to handle the business details and you'll have plenty of time at home."

The executive thought that was great and so the scientist took some cells from the inside of his mouth and began the cloning process. Six months later, the clone was ready and the CEO was anxious to meet his double, but the scientist cautioned him, "Sir, I must tell you that the cloning and accelerated growth procedures we use aren't completely perfected yet. Your clone is exact in every detail except that it has an unfortunate tendency toward foul language."

The executive didn't blink an eye and left for home to enjoy family life as his clone took over the office.

It wasn't long before trouble broke out. Longtime employees were quitting and suing for sexual harassment. The double's foul mouth had offended and lost many major clients and his vulgar tongue was proving to be a disaster to the business.

Knowing that he had to do something and fast, the CEO called his double and asked for a meeting at the restaurant atop company headquarters. The two met and over lunch their argument became more and more heated. The swear words literally poured out of the genetically- engineered garbage mouth. He must have run through about every filthy word in the book when the original CEO, completely fed up, hauled off and belted him. The force knocked the double through a plate glass window and he plummeted 30 stories to the sidewalk below.

Within minutes the police arrived and took the CEO into custody and the executive demanded to know the charge. "That should be obvious, sir," the cop said. "You're being arrested for making an obscene clone fall."

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