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Camping Tips
Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo
camping. Shine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam
shines out the other ear, do not go into the woods
alone.
- A two-man pup tent does not include two men or
a pup.
- A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes
an excellent hockey puck.
- You can start a fire without matches by eating
Mexican food, then breathing on a pile of dry sticks.
- In emergency situations, you can survive in the
wilderness by shooting small game with a slingshot
made from the elastic waistband of your underwear.
- The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite
makes excellent kindling.
- The sight of a bald eagle has thrilled campers for
generations. The sight of a bald man, however,
does absolutely nothing for the eagle.
- It's entirely possible to spend your whole vacation
on a winding mountain road behind a large motor
home.
- Effective January 1, 2001, you will actually have to
enlist in the Swiss Army to get a Swiss Army Knife.
- In an emergency, a drawstring from a parka hood
can be used to strangle a snoring tent mate.